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I blinked up at him in complete shock. What was he even saying? Was he for real? He isn’t a Barbieri. Diego isn’t his father. What the fuck! I couldn’t speak, my mouth just opening and closing, so he took that as a sign to keep dropping more bombs on me.
“Isabelle was that mistake. When I was fifteen, she moved back home from school and we became closer. She started making it pretty obvious she liked me. And not like a brother. Everything I told you about our relationship was true, Elle. We had never been close growing up. She hated me because she blamed me for her mamma leaving her which I held a lot of guilt over. But then, it all changed. I was confused. I was lonely and lacked any kind of affection or love in my life so when she started to show it to me, I just went with it. We started sleeping together in secret. For about a year. Diego found her condoms and killed a boy she blamed. He made me watch. After that, I freaked out. I knew what we were doing was fucked up and it wasn’t worth the risk of being caught by Diego so I told Isabelle it was over. But she started to blackmail me, Elle. She had a paternity test. She said she would leak it or she would tell Diego about me and her if I refused to sleep with her. He'd kill me for that kind of betrayal. I thought her marrying Lorenzo might change that. It definitely helped put some distance between us, but she still tried every time I was in the North. Right up to when I met you."
I grabbed my hair in my hands with distress as I started to pace the room. "So, you didn't sleep with her the morning after you proposed to me?"
"What?" he shouted. "No! She turned up at my house that morning and told me Diego was dead. She tried to seduce me, but I refused her. I told her I would never sleep with her again and she lost her mind. I knew she was crazy, but I had no idea she was capable of what she did to you, Elle. I am so sorry.”
I stared at him, not knowing what to say. He was apologising to me? When I shot his sister? No, not his sister. If this was all true, it made so much sense, but still made me sick to my stomach. Just in a different way…
“She was forcing you to have sex with her? For years? Blackmailing you the entire time?” I managed to whisper as his eyes filled with shame and guilt. He swallowed and moved his gaze away from me, running his hand down his face.
“I’m not saying any of this to make you feel sorry for me, Elle. It’s the truth. It’s my fucked up past. The darkness inside me.”
I still wasn’t sure if I could believe him. “So the video of you both in Venice? That was you not enjoying yourself while fucking her and filming it?”
His face snapped to mine; a deep frown set in his features. “What video?”
My eyes widened when I realised he didn’t know. “She showed me the video of you fucking her against the window in a hotel room in Venice. The same week you met me in the club.”
He turned away from me, looking up at the ceiling in disbelief as he put his hands on his hips.
“That fucking BITCH! She set me up! And she showed you that? Fuck! She was FUCKING UNHINGED!” he suddenly roared, losing his temper as he smashed his fist into the wall. I jumped back in fright, my body hitting the door and he turned quickly, his anger disappearing when he saw my fear. He stepped towards me with an anguished expression that tore at my heart, but I held my hands up to stop him.
“You’re scared of me now?” he asked quietly, the tone of his voice choking with emotion. “Elle, I would never hurt you.”
“But you did,” I whispered, my own throat constricting with emotion as his face crippled with torture. “You did hurt me. You broke my heart, Alessio. Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“I was going to. I swear. As soon as I met with Giovanni and had his blessing, I was going to tell you everything. Elle, trust is hard for me. And telling you this meant telling you the only thing that could destroy me completely. If everyone knows I am not a true Barbieri, I’ll be killed by someone, anyone, who wants my position.”
“Then why have you told me now? I could tell Gio and he could destroy you,” I whispered as he stepped closer. I gazed up into his ocean eyes and felt vulnerable in their beauty. They were drowning me, slowly lashing against the hard wall I had put up around my heart in the last few days. The resolve to hate him was slowly crumbling.
“Because I realised that it wasn’t the only thing that could destroy me. Losing you could too. If I lose you, I have lost everything anyway. I won’t care if Giovanni or anyone else destroys me. They can take it all. Because it hurts to fucking breathe when you’re not with me. I’m lost without you, Elle,” he closed the gap between us rapidly, his hand weaving up into my hair as he pressed his forehead against mine. My heart thundered in my chest as we both started to breathe heavily against each other’s lips. The need to taste him again was overwhelming all my senses and clouding my judgement.
He broke first. His lips captured mine in a hard kiss, smashing over me like a fucking wrecking ball and demolishing the last of my restraint. I couldn’t fight it. His kiss was always my kryptonite. Since I was fourteen years old, all my fantasies and desires have centred around this man and those lips. My hands reached up for his face as our tongues slid against each other with passionate urgency. His other hand pressed my hip back against the door as he covered my body with his, moaning into this kiss.
“Fuck, Elle. I’ve missed you so much,” he breathed into our kiss. “I’ve been going fucking crazy without you.”
“Wait,” I panted, gripping his coat in my hands and pushing him back slightly so our lips parted. He looked down at me with confusion in his hooded eyes. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this. I’m marrying Enzo.”
His gaze turned hard and furious as his nostrils flared, “You’re not marrying Enzo.”
“I am! If you hadn’t noticed, this is my fucking engagement party,” I shoved him back again as my anger returned. “You can’t just show up and make everything okay again, Alessio. Too much has fucking happened! I killed your fake sister for Christ’s sake! I shot her in the fucking head. Three times! And you still want to be with me?”
“Yes. I still want to fucking be with you Elle.”
“You’re insane. This is insane. Everyone is against us, Alessio. The whole fucking universe is trying to tear us apart. Maybe, we should listen!”
“The universe and every fucker out there can try their best to keep me from you but they will always fail. I won’t ever give up on you, Elle. I would have to be no longer breathing for that to happen.”
“Why?!” I shouted, tears welling in my eyes as he grabbed my face roughly in his hands. “Why are you doing this?!”
“Because I love you, Elenora. I love you more than I have ever found a way to tell you.”
My lips trembled as I stared into his eyes, looking for any sign of a lie. A part of me really hoped that I would find it. But when I saw only genuine love pouring from his soul, I shook my head, refusing to accept it.
“No… don’t do this,” I whimpered as he forced my head still, leaning in closer to me.
“It’s true, Elle. I have been in love with you since the moment I met you eleven years ago. I didn’t know it then, but I do now. I warned you I am fucked up. I warned you I was too dark for you, Princess. I tried to stay away from you, but I couldn’t. Even when I had no idea what love was, I was already falling for you, knowing I had to protect you somehow even if I couldn’t do it myself. I can’t let you marry him, Elle. I can’t let you marry anyone. Because you are supposed to marry me. This.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “This is real. We are real. I want you and you want me.”
