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“Why do you ask?”
I stared up at the stars, always searching for the brightest one, hoping it was papi watching over me. “It’s a long story.”
“I have time,” he replied and I heard him shuffle around. It sounded like he had just gotten himself comfortable, maybe on a bed or a sofa. I smiled.
“Okay. My papi died four years ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied genuinely and I closed my eyes.
“It’s okay. I have come to terms with it, but my mamma has had a hard time letting go. He was the love of her life and they shared this strange, special connection that seems to be extremely rare. She has never been the same since.”
“So, she is finding it hard to move on?” He asked softly.
“She is refusing to move on. She is finally starting to have feelings for someone. A good man who would treat her well, but she won’t entertain it because she says her heart will always belong to my papi.”
“Maybe she’s right,” he replied and I opened my eyes, frowning.
“I will not accept that she will never allow herself to be happy with another man for the rest of her life! How cruel is that?!”
“I agree. But maybe she really does feel that way. That she will never love another man like she loved him.”
“I know she feels that way now, but how will she know unless she gives herself permission to open her heart up to another again?” I said with frustration.
“Maybe she just needs more time.”
“Maybe… but I don’t think so. She really likes this other man, I can tell. So, the fact she is in a place in her life where she is feeling attracted to another again and really likes him shows me she is ready, but she is just being stubborn. She said some weird stuff about my papi not wanting her to ever be with another man. He was very possessive, but I can’t believe that to be true. Surely, he would want her to be happy?”
“Some men are like that. I am sure he didn’t believe he would be faced with a situation where he wasn’t the only man in her life. If he was alive, I am sure he would never allow her to contemplate being with another man. But he’s not, so whether that is true or not, she will never know. She should make decisions for herself now, not for him.”
I blinked a few times as his words registered deeper than anything I had ever heard. It was frank but so honest. “Who knew panthers were so wise?”
He laughed loudly, “Maybe I should set up my own late-night love show. I could call it ‘Panther’s Pearls of Wisdom.’”
I giggled and flipped over onto my back, staring at the ceiling. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get so deep and depressing so quickly.”
“Si, you really know how to kill the mood,” he teased and I scoffed.
“So… tell me about your family. Are they as tragic as mine?”
“Oh Princess, you have no idea. I can beat your sob story easily.”
“Oh really?” I smirked, enjoying how he made even the saddest of things light. “Try me.”
“Ok. Well, I don’t have a mamma. Never have. And my papi will probably be six feet under by the end of this month.”
“What?” I sat bolt upright in bed, the shock of his words and how he said it all so calmly, with no emotion, triggered the belief that he had to be lying. But why would he make that up?
“Lung cancer. He is in bad shape. I went to see him earlier. I don’t think he has much longer left.” Again, he spoke like he was discussing the weather, not his dying father.
“That is awful. I am so sorry,” I said with genuine emotion.
“It’s life. We all die one way or another. My papi never thought it would be cancer that got him, but that’s the irony of life I guess.”
“Are you close?” I asked, trying to get a handle on why he was so cold and unaffected by this.
“Si. We have always had an intense relationship. It’s complicated. But I owe him a lot.”
“You owe him a lot?” I was struggling to understand his coded words. It felt like there was so much more to this story, but I didn’t want to pry too much. Just the phrase ‘I owe him a lot’ didn’t sound like a loving father-son relationship.
