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“Ma...I don’t know...” I stopped and took a deep breath. “Thank you.”
“You’re always welcome, baby. And I got your message. I’ll bring the eye, but she doesn’t care about that. She’s wanted you all this time, too.”
Then she hung up, leaving me with an inexplicable sense of peace.
CHAPTER15
BROOKLYN
Another Friday arrived and with it, another exchange of custody. Isaac finally called the day before and let me know he’d be picking Bailey up from school, so I wouldn’t have to interact with him or my mother.
Thank God.
Relief flooded me the moment I received that information, and I was able to concentrate at work which was fortunate since Sharla’s event was just days away and she was on the warpath. Well, maybe warpath was an exaggeration, but she was definitely on edge about the school of African American Studies’ inaugural homecoming benefit. I understood the pressure she was under but damn! I wasn’t sure if I would be fully recovered from her craziness over this event by the day of so that I could enjoy it.
Vann was going to be there, though, Vann and his handsome face and big hands and heart stopping smile. Vann and the memories would be there. Vann and the damn butterflies he induced deep in my belly. Vann and his voice, his body, albeit I preferred him bigger. But still, at forty-something, Mr. London was still fine, the finest to be honest. And if I sat still for a moment and really let my mind wander, I’d have to admit that he was my first love, maybe even my only real love, a love I’d never forgotten, and now, between making calls to the caterers and the DJ and the company that was donating the liquor for the bar, I had to admit to myself that I had longed for feelings I’d only experienced with him for a very long time, feelings I’d only skirted with other men, including Isaac.
TWELVE YEARS EARLIER…
ROMEY U-HOMECOMING WEEK…
I was exhausted, absolutely spent, but also totally and completely exhilarated from the energy of the crowd, the cheers, and him.
I caught sight of him standing at the front of the crowd as we marched from the bonfire. Big and tall and so handsome it nearly made my eyes cross. As I swung my arms in time with the drum cadence, a big smile on my face, my heart lurched at the sight of him, and my body? It began to overheat at the mere thought of what this man would do to me once he got me alone, but then another face came into view and instead of the intense desire I’d seen in Vann’s eyes, this man’s eyes held anger.
Jamaal.
The same Jamaal whom I’d been dodging since the day Vann London arrived back in town. Seeing him wiped the smile off my face for a split second but I recovered quickly. Jamaal was my boyfriend, and a safe bet if there ever was one. He’d still be here after homecoming week had ended. Vann would not. Vann was inaccessible. Vann was a wanderer, and from the little pillow talk we’d shared, I wasn’t sure he’d ever settle down. Hell, he’d provided me a clear disclaimer before we started whatever this was we were doing. I’d call it random fucking, but it had inched its way out of that category. What it was now, I wasn’t sure, but I knew if I stepped out of the band room that night and saw both of them waiting for me, I’d leave with Jamaal but I’d find a way to meet Vann.
No doubt about it.
But when we made it to the band room and I finally merged to head to my dorm, Vann was nowhere to be found. Jamaal was there though.
“Damn, why you looking like that?” he asked as I approached him leaning against a tree near the Wonder parking lot.
I shrugged. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Like you were expecting someone other than me.”
Another shrug. “Just tired.”
“You should be after all that. Damn, you were good!”
I offered him a weak smile. “Thanks, babe.”
“So…you wanna come to my room and get some sleep?”
Lifting an eyebrow, I said, “If I come to your room, we won’t be doing no sleeping and you know it. I gotta get some rest.”
He gave me a sheepish grin. “A’ight, let me walk you to Kitt, then.”
VANN
I saw her dude at the bonfire, saw him staring at her, and then watched as he followed the band when they left. So, I hung back, trying to figure out what I’d do. Did I want to see her, be alone with her? Yes.Hellyes. But I didn’t want to cause any more trouble than I was sure I already had. I liked Brooklyn Skye. I just…I didn’t know what to do with that. I avoided real connections with people, and I was sure I needed to continue that practice, but she made me feel shit.Goodshit. This woman took my breath away from merely glimpsing her beauty. She was so damn breathtaking. Her skin was blemish-free acreage of chocolate and baby soft. She was perfection in so many ways and I was just so messed up. I was ever battling identity issues and the weight of my father’s rejection coupled with the ostracism of nearly everyone in my hometown. Then there was my grandmother whose death I never quite got over. Sharla was little when we lost her, a baby really, so although she understood me better than just about anyone, she didn’t feel the loss of Mama Yura like I did. That woman was my comfort, my buffer, my everything. Anyway, did I want Brooklyn in a real way? I did. Not a day went by from last homecoming to this when she didn’t cross my mind at least once, but I was just…shit, I was afraid, and she was young and smart with a bright future. The last thing she needed in her life was me. After all, I was my father’s son and he’d broken my mother’s heart. I didn’t want to do that to Brooklyn.
But damn if I didn’t want her.
That was why my ass blended into a group of folks standing across the narrow inter-campus road from Eartha Kitt Hall, watching as her dude walked her to the door, hoping his ass wouldn’t follow her inside. When he didn’t, I stopped holding my breath and waited until he was out of sight to make my way over to the dorm. Kitt was an all-girls dorm, but unless the rules had changed, the residents were allowed opposite sex visitors until midnight. The problem was, it was past midnight at that point, but I had her phone number. I’d been sure to get it the other night when I fucked her until we were both exhausted. So I texted her:I’m outside your dorm.
