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She laughed softly, a mirthless sound. “No. I’m not a brainiac like those two. Undergrad was enough for me.”

“I feel you on that. You don’t wanna stay with your mom? Is she mean to you?”

“No, my mom, she’s…she’s just tired and I get it. She struggled to raise me alone, no help from her family or my father, worked all the time but couldn’t seem to get ahead. So, it wasn’t like she had a lot of time to spend with me. The thing is, when my father stepped up to help, she was so angry at him, she wouldn’t let him.”

“Was he there today?”

“Yeah, he was. Since I’ve gotten out from under my mom’s roof, he’s been there for me every step of the way.”

“Good, I’m glad you have him in your life now.”

“Me too.”

Silence until I said, “My Romey graduation day was fucked up by family, too.”

“Really?” she squealed.

“Yeah. Uh…my father only came around a few times when I was growing up. So I wasn’t expecting him to show up that day, and technically, he didn’t. I’d invited him, though. Anyway, my mom, Cake, my uncle, and I had dinner at a steakhouse afterwards and he pops up at our table all smiling and shit. When we first arrived, I thought it was strange that they’d put us in a private room but thought maybe my mom had requested it since it was a special day. When I saw him, I knew he’d made the arrangements and was probably paying for the whole thing. There was no way he would’ve eaten with us out in the open.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I’m black. Because my mother is black.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I was a secret. I’mstilla secret. Anyway, he sat down and my mom and them left, leaving me alone with him. I was caught between being angry at this ambush and being hopeful that he was there because he wanted to be a real part of my life.”

I chuckled bitterly at the memory of my stupidity. “He sat across from me and first told me how proud he was of me. Then he asked that I not contact him again, said the invitation I mailed to him was intercepted by his wife, and although he told her some lie, it wasn’t a good thing for me to do. He gave me a check, told me I could use it for whatever I wanted, and he left.” At that point, I was blinking back tears. Thirty years old and the mere thought of this shit still made my chest hurt. I remembered it perfectly, the seriousness on his face. No remorse, no apology, just an almost tangible desire for me to leave him alone emitting from him.

“Oh, Vann…I’m so sorry. You’re beautiful. It’s truly his loss.”

“Thank you. Hey, I meant what I said earlier. I love you, Brooklyn.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. So damn much.”

“I love you, too. I missed you.”

“I missed you more.”

“When are you leaving this time?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh…”

“Come with me.”

“What? Where?”

“I’m staying in Jamaica right now, but we can go anywhere you want, anywhere with black and brown people.”

She didn’t reply, so I said, “Did you hear me?”

“I can’t do that. I don’t want to move around like that. I did that growing up because we were always dodging eviction. I don’t want to live like that again.”

“It wouldn’t be the same, baby. We’d bechoosingto move around and explore the world.”

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