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Vann led me away from the fire, the people, and around the huge sports complex building. When we came to a smaller metal building situated just north of the complex, he stopped, nodding toward an unimpressive brown bench situated in the grass beside the small building.
“This is an annex to the equipment room in the Owens building. Me and my friends used to sit out here and drink when I was a student,” he offered.
“Oh,” I said.
Turning to face me, he said, “Look, let’s just get right down to it. I love you and you love me, yes?”
Hesitantly, I nodded. “Yes.”
I could see relief wash over him. “Okay. Look, baby…I’m older and wiser now. I wasn’t equipped emotionally to be what you needed me to be back then. My head was all messed up for a lot of reasons, but I’m ready now. I will do whatever you want me to do. Live wherever you want me to live. I just wantyou.”
Where the hell did these tears come from? I blinked them back and dropped my eyes. “Vann, I…”
“I mean, if you’ll have me. I ain’t got but one eye now, but my heart is ready. It’s yours if you want it.”
A tear escaped. “I have a daughter.”
“I know. I saw her, remember? She’s beautiful and I can tell she’s smart. I want to be a part of her life, too.”
I thought of what Sharla had said. “What if you’re just saying all this because you’re feeling unstable, because of everything you’ve been through?”
“What I’ve been through has shown me what’s really important. It’s taught me how short life is, and how I never should have let you go. And I can’t let that happen again this time.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“So am I.”
I nodded. “You have a right to be. I know I hurt you, too. Can’t tell you how much I regret not leaving with you, but then I wouldn’t have my Bailey.”
He reached up, placing his hand on the side of my face. “The only way you could hurt me is to refuse me. I will accept it, but it’ll hurt.”
“What about your life?”
“I want to spend the rest of it loving you. This is me choosing you over everything else, baby. Nothing else matters to me.” He leaned in and softly kissed me, sending waves of wonderful déjà vu over me.
“Okay,” I murmured. “Okay.”
I was still afraid this wouldn’t work, but I’d spent years with men I didn’t love. Surely, I could give something real a chance for once.
Surely.
“Thank you. Now, let me go find my damn client before he starts a pimping business or something, round here looking dumb as hell.”
Giggling—yes, I actuallygiggled—I took his hand and let him lead me back to the bonfire.
After findingMessiah safely enjoying the band’s performance at the bonfire, horrible disguise intact, Vann and I stood hand in hand, enjoying the show ourselves. We left after the band marched away from the fire with Vann following me home, leaving Messiah in his truck to walk me to my apartment door.
There, under the lantern-style light situated by my door in the corridor, we stared at each other, smiles on both our faces. This moment, a moment I never thought would come, felt so perfect, so beautiful. I loved this man, that much I was clear on. I was also absolutely certain he loved me, but there was my past, my mistakes and bad decisions, my mistaken belief that a life of leisure would solve all my problems when it did nothing but bury them temporarily.
My smile faltered at those thoughts and my eyes fell before meeting his face again. “There’s a lot I need to tell you about me, about my marriage, about life all these years we’ve been apart. Those things might make you change your mind about me.”
“About you cheating on your husband with that Jamaal sumbitch who keeps popping up like a case of herpes? You told me, baby, when you were drunk,” he informed me, his smile widening.
My mouth fell open. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did, and I couldn’t care less. You didn’t love him. You couldn’t have because you love me.”
“Yeah, but…oh my god. What else did I tell you?”
