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“He can come in,” Brooklyn interrupted me.
I stared at her before opening the door wider and clearing the way for him, watching as he turned and said something to the big guy standing behind him, undoubtedly a member of Mississippi’s Executive Protection Division, tasked with guarding the governor. Then he stepped inside.
We settled at Brooklyn’s kitchen table, cups of coffee sitting before us. Sleepiness had left me, replaced by a combination of curiosity and wariness. He obviously had something he felt was important to say to me being that he hit the road in the middle of the night to say it, but did I want to hear it? Hell, did Ineedto hear it?
Lifting his face from his mug, he uttered, “I…uh…tried to call you earlier, right after the press conference.”
“I saw the Mississippi number, but I didn’t recognize it,” I replied.
He nodded. “You saw it, right? The press conference?”
“I did.”
“It’s been a crazy few hours since the broadcast. I hear there are petitions going around trying to get me removed from office. They’re citing fraud as the reason. People aren’t too happy about accidentally electing the first black governor of Mississippi.”
“And that surprises you?”
“Not at all. I knew there’d be fallout, but I also knew it was the right thing to do and that it was overdue, too.”
I just looked at him, unsure of what I was supposed to say.
“I did it for you as much as for me. I hope you can see that. I love you, Vann. I always have. I’ve just been…I’ve been afraid, a coward.”
I dropped my head a bit. “I can’t argue with that, Governor.”
“Yeah. I need you to know something. Living life this way wasn’t planned. In the beginning, it wasn’t even intentional. I’d go places and people would presume I was white and with that, came better treatment. As much as I loved your mother and you, I couldn’t make myself let that go. I never would’ve climbed the ranks of my party otherwise, and I truly endeavored to make change. I just…I got lost in it all. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for the way I treated you, neglected you.”
I stared down into my coffee for a long moment before lifting my gaze to meet his. “You know, I thought about this moment a million times over the years. From the time I was a little kid, I felt like there must’ve been something wrong with me because you barely came around. That idea really took root after you confronted me about inviting you to my college graduation. I was so proud of myself until that moment.” I paused and shook my head.
“Son—”
“I’m not angry about it. Iwasangry as hell, but I’m not now. I was so young and confused and…lost, or at least I thought I was. I traveled to every black and brown country I could think of just to see what was so bad about being black and I couldn’t figure it out. Now, at forty-three, I get it. The problem isn’t in being black. The problem is internalizing what other people see as the problem of being black. I might’ve been confused but I wasn’t lost.Youwere. You’ve spent your life treating the dopest gift in the world, your blackness, like a case of leprosy. You might think you did this for me and my mom, but the truth is, we didn’t need you to do it. You did.”
He quietly observed me for so long, I started wondering if he’d had a stroke or something. But then he spoke. “I…will you give me a chance to be a real part of your life? That’s something I’ve wanted for a long time. I know it’s my fault that it didn’t happen before now.”
I stared at him, so much like me physically but nothing like me internally, and in that moment, there was no sadness or anger in me. Finally, I said, “To be honest with you, I don’t see how that would benefit either of us, but I do wish you well.”
Minutes later, he was gone, with him a burden I’d carried for most of my life.
CHAPTER31
BROOKLYN
All eyes were on the stage as she worked her magic. With her eyes closed, she threw her head back and belted out the notes like a trained professional. Tonight’s selection, chosen by her mentor, wasGreatest Love of All, and my baby was killing it note by note in a sparkly silver dress and pink ballerina flats, a white featured headband completing the outfit.
My cheeks hurt from smiling as I occupied my usual seat at Britta’s table with Vann sitting next to me smiling just as widely. Across from us, Britta sat with clasped hands resting on her ample chest, a beautiful turquoise colored kaftan covering her frame with a matching turban covering her hair.
When the song ended, Bailey took her bow amid a standing ovation.
“You are absolutely brilliant, my little Princess. I think you may have surpassed your mother in talent,” Britta gushed.
“She has!” I agreed.
“Shoot, I just made myself her manager! That was phenomenal, Boss Lady!” Vann declared.
Bailey scurried out of the room to change her clothes and we all reclaimed our seats.
“I’m so glad you came to watch the performance with us, Vann. Brooklyn’s been hiding you from me for months now,” Britta sang.
