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He wastes no time gripping her hips, lifting her off of him and dropping her to the floor, and looking down at her. “What are you waiting for?” On her hands and knees, she gathers the rest of her stuff, gets up and skurries out.
“You fucking told her to ask?” Hud’s dick is still out, semi hard. He makes no effort to hide it, not moving from where he lies on the bed.
“Also, since when do we bring chicks back here?” This is not the brother I know. He is fucked up.
“Did she ask?”
“Of course she fucking asked! She saw right through me and knew almost instantly what happened, you fucking moron. Since when do we tell people about our daddy issues?” I fume.
Hudson still isn’t phased in the least. “I thought it would be good for you to talk to someone. And she's a chick, so I figured while we have her here, she could help?”
“I don’t need anyone’s help.” I get right in his face, spitting every word. This motherfucker is lucky that's all I am doing.
“What did you do?” he questions back. Retaliation is in our DNA, he is smart to ask, but it doesn’t mean I will fucking tell him.
Backing up away from him, I turn around and begin walking out of his room, “I’m going out!”
I messagedsome of the guys who were still on campus, asking if there was anything going on tonight. I need to get out and release the anger building inside of me.
Of all the guys fucking Smiley came in clutch. He is at a small frat party happening down the street from the rink. Fucking perfect.
Throwing my phone down on my bed, I walk to my closet, pulling out a fresh pair of black jeans, a white fitted v-neck tee, and my black and red Jordans. Rushing to put them on so I can get out of this fucking house, that I feel like I am suffocating in.
Looking in the mirror, my hair is a fucking mess, so I grab a black hat and pop it on along with some deodorant and cologne. As I walk out of the closet, passing my desk, I swipe my blackzip-up hoodie from the back of the chair and my phone from the bed before heading out.
This chick is getting inside of my head. I don’t want her pity. I don’t need it. I grab my keys from the dish near the front door and head out.
Pulling up to the frat house, there’s a small group of people I don’t recognize and, frankly, don’t give a fuck about, outside smoking and talking.
Getting out of my Rover, I walk up the brick path to the house and head in. It’s a decent size party, which is impressive considering most of campus has fucked off for the holidays.
Maneuvering through students crowding the front entrance, I go looking for Smiley. My eyes continue to scan as I walk past the kitchen and into the living room, where we spot each other immediately. Biggest fucking grin on his face with his hand in the air waving me over to the couch where him and a few others are sitting. The table is littered with empty bottles and drugs.
I’ve never been a massive drinker. Don’t get me wrong, I will have a drink here and there. Getting blackout wasted followed by a bout of dehydration and a hangover never appealed to me, but the drugs have always screamed my name.
The immediate rush of coke or venom filling my body. Or the calmness weed can bring me. Mixing a few of them together—euphoric. All of it gives me something I need. Something I crave. All without the filthy hangover or night of regret laying next to me.
Standing in front of the couch, I nod my head for whoever this fucker is next to Smiley to move. He does without question. He knows who I am. Good fucking boy.
Rubbing the palms of his hands together, Smiley begins his tour of the goods. “So my man, we have a great selection for you here tonight. Moonshine from bro’s grandpa’s basement, shit burns, thought I went blind for a minute after taking a shot. Sodon’t say I didn't warn you. Venom, compliments of the Noxious Boys, Merry Christmas to us. And in the dish are some coco puff joints. I know. So many choices.”
Shaking my head and smiling, the guy could try to sell me a used condom, and I would buy it. “Bro, drug test when we get back in a couple days. Only Venom. Got it.”
His eyes widen like a wave of realization just washed over him. “Fuck dude. I totally forgot. Don’t worry, I haven’t had shit yet.” Jesus Christ, this guy.
Leaning forward, I grab the playing card on the table and cut a line of Venom and snort it directly off the table into my nose. The minute it hits my brain a flashback of the basement invades my vision. Banks.
Banks, almost naked, wrapped in the thin sheet I left her in. My lips touching hers with the zap of electricity traveling through my body. Her innocent body reacted more visibly than mine. Fuck no.
I take another hit.
This bitch will not occupy another thought. She will not feel fucking sorry for me. She will loath me. Hate me. As much as I hate myself after my father’s punishments. For being weak. For not having the balls to stand up for my fucking self. Only a few more months and I can. But until then, this is what I have.
Hockey, art and these fucking drugs.
I cut one more line and snort it. My mind tingles as the vibrant colors invade my vision. The music becomes louder, and the beat radiates off other party goers around me.
Now I’m content. This is where I want to be. Zoned the fuck out.
