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I rush up the stairs and down the hall to my room. I won the master suite after an intense game of rock, paper, scissors.
Fair is fair.
Kicking off my shoes and pulling my hoodie off, I drop it onto the black carpet, and fall onto the black silk sheets and comforter that cover my bed. My desk off to the side is full of my sketchbooks and art supplies with a stained-glass lamp, lined up against the dark gray wall.
Why does she have to be hot and seem so innocent? Not that the hot part will deter us, but her fucking innocence may.
Who am I kidding? It won’t. It will take less to break her into a million tiny pieces. She’ll be lucky if she ends up in a psych ward after we are through with her. Those green eyes, full of tears, will be beautiful. Streaming down her porcelain skin. I hope she begs for us to stop. To leave her alone. I hope she promises to run and never come back while on her knees before us, pleading. Such a pathetic display.
My skin gets goosebumps at the thought of it all. These types of thoughts aren’t new. Relishing in someone else’s demise. I often think about the things I would do to my father. I’d make it slow and painful. To suffer like the rest of us did. Lingering resentment keeps these thoughts fueled.
Before closing my eyes and falling back to sleep. A smile tries to spread across my face, but I fight it back.
Banks will get what she deserves, ruthless and unrelenting pain and regret.
HUDSON
This may have beenthe best fucking idea I have had… ever!
Bouncing on the balls of my shoes with excitement.
My sperm donor always said, ‘If you can’t beat them, join them.’
The spawn of Satan is becoming Satan, just for her.
I pull out my phone and dial my teammate and good friend, Raiden. He picks up after the second ring. “Yo, bro. I need some Venom.”
“Yeah man, I’m out now. I’ll drop some off, no problem.” Then he hangs up. Raiden is not one for formalities. He’s like mybrother that way, maybe that’s why they work so well and play defense together.
Banks Lewis, run little girl. You are now our prey.
6
BANKS
Yesterday was the last day of school until next semester. Some of the team left a few gift cards on my desk for me, and Trace left me his number, which made me laugh before throwing it in the garbage.
My apartment is only a five-minute drive from campus and I sigh as I look out the window to find a blue sky with clusters of gray clouds, the perfect weather for Christmas. The only thing that would make it better would be my dad still being around. This will be my first Christmas without him and all alone. It’s time to make new traditions, it’s ok. I’ve got this.
But I have never felt so restless. Sitting still makes me anxious, like I could crawl out of my own skin. A shiver encompasses my body and goosebumps erupt across my flesh. The first holiday alone must be provoking this unease. I just need to get through this one holiday and the rest will be a breeze.
I’m wearing our team hoodie, white with the green Jackal logo on the front with a pair of black leggings and Ugg boots. My long black hair is in a high, messy pony. I’ve added a bit of mascara to coat my lashes, while concealer hides the dark color under my eyes. This restless feeling has been causing somesleepless nights. Once this holiday is over, everything will be fine.
Pulling my phone out of my hoodie pocket to check the time, it’s nearly 5 pm. Our final game before break is tonight, at home. We play our closest rival, Richardson College, tonight. The game is bound to be a good one, our guys are relentless against them. They push and push until Richardson finally snaps, forcing a penalty. It’s great hockey.
Great hockey I’m going to be late for if I don’t hurry.
With my mind occupied with something other than Christmas, I grab my car keys off my front entrance table and head out.
Traffic was lighterthan normal tonight.
Campus is like a ghost town except for a small crowd gathering at Barlowe Arena. Locals and the diehard fans of either team are here. I park my car in my normal spot. The sun has gone down, the light posts begin turning on, lighting the parking lot and illuminating the pathway through Groveton.
The evening chill pricks my skin once I’ve exited the car. I shove both hands into my hoodie pocket as I make my way toward the arena. A few others are on the same path, heading in the same direction. A small group of students are laughing at something one of them has said, from what I can faintly hear.
They don't have a care in the world, the worries and stress of adulting haven’t set in for them yet. The real world can be scary and unpredictable, full of joy and pain. I hope they remember this moment in time when it feels like their world is ending. Thatit isn't all doom and gloom. The good times exist amongst the dark, you just need to remember them.
A slight breeze blows against me, and my ponytail brushing against my nape brings me back to the present. The bare trees sway and the dried, dead leaves on the ground rustle. I’ve walked through most of campus while lost in my thoughts. Still caught up in the dread from earlier, when I don’t want to be. Being here at the game should help at least for a few hours.
