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“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said, unclipping the harness. Despite my frustration that these activities didn’t come naturally to me, my improvement was evident. I had to admit I could see the appeal in some of these sports.
As Oliver clipped in to go next, I found myself stuck on what he said. “Next summer.” Why hadn’t it even occurred to me to correct him? Tell him that I wasn’t sure where I’d be next summer. The integration would have concluded by then, and I’d likely have more freedom of location.
Amidst these attempts to bond, I realized I had forgotten that spending time with Oliver used to feel like an obligation. Just the other day, I came home late to an empty house and found myself genuinely disappointed that Oliver wasn't there to drag me to some extracurricular activity I would surely be terrible at.
A voice in the back of my mind urged me to express this to him—to somehow convey that our relationship meant something to me. I thought of Harrison ripping into me the other day. But my apprehension lingered. Despite Oliver's current attempts to bridge the gap between us, that wasn't the case while we were growing up. Our parents might have been the cause of our alienation, but neither of us made an effort to overcome it.
Oliver was our mother’s favorite, and he was always more than happy to keep it that way. They got to be the warmth in the family—the ones that glowed and had fun with life. Meanwhile my father and I put in the hard work to make something of ourselves. Oliver and I had never understood each other and, honestly, never really tried. He never included me in his plans. He treated Harrison more like a brother than me.
You never treated him like a brother either.
The sound of the buzzer jerked me from my thoughts. Oliver had already scaled to the top of the wall at least three times faster than I managed to.
“Nice one,” I called, clearing my throat. The praise sounded unnatural coming from me.
Oliver propelled down and held out his hand for a high five. I hesitated before making firm contact.
“I’m serious, Nathan. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried this outside.”
“Didn’t you say a rock almost took your head off last time you went?”
He waved off my concern as if it were ludicrous. “You have fast reflexes. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
I arched a brow. “They weren’t so fast when the rope hit me in the eye.”
“You were just getting started. I’ll get you out there on a real mountain, mark my words.” The gleam in his eye told me that he would, without a doubt, get me out there. He had a knack for talking me into things. Perhaps it was the guilt I harbored for being closed off, or maybe it was my underlying urge to get to know him better. Whatever it was, he had successfully persuaded me to try things I had never thought I would do. Like willingly getting up at six a.m. to strap myself to a piece of wood and hurdle down a hill in frigid temperatures. That appeal was still completely lost on me even though Oliver had assured me countless times that I would love snowboarding.
“Come on, let’s get in a few more climbs before you have to leave for the office.”
I had strategically positionedmy chair so I could see outside my cracked open office door. If I set up my chair just so, I could make out a certain someone’s desk from across the office. Now, in between emails, I found myself glancing up to see when she would arrive.
Ever since that pottery class earlier this week, she had been avoiding me less. It seemed that brief kiss was long forgotten now—almost as if it had never happened. The only way I could be certain that it did in fact happen was the lingering sensation of electricity that coursed through my body every time I thought about her lips touching mine.
The elevator dinged and a group of people got off. Her melodic laugh flowed all the way into my office. She emerged from the small crowd, smiling and shaking her head at something someone said. As she placed her bag down at her desk, Liam appeared next to her—a shit-eating grin on his face. I had half a mind to walk over there and wipe it right off.
I gripped the edge of my desk as I leaned in closer. She threw her hands in the air, talking excitedly. He nodded, his eyes intent on hers. It took everything in me not to go out there and think of some excuse to pull the two of them apart.
Jealously wasn’t in my wheelhouse. For all intents and purposes, it wasn’t even a real emotion—just the effect of other things. Self-consciousness. Loneliness. Inferiority complex. Whatever it was, jealousy was a result. It wasn’t real.
If only I could tell that to the intense burning and irrational rage I felt deep down in my gut as Liam reached out and brushed her hair away from her shoulder.
I rose from my chair, telling myself I could steal Charlie away to look at an error someone sent over when Ben’s face blocked my view. He opened the door and leaned against the frame.
“Whoa,” he said once he had taken in my scowl. “What’s eating you this morning?”
“Nothing,” I grumbled, falling back into my chair.
Ben raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything further.
“Well, unfortunately, what I have to tell you isn’t going to make your mood any better.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose in anticipation. “What is it?”
He took in a breath and tapped the side of my desk. “I need you to go out to San Diego to meet with the board in two days. You need to give them all the updates on the integration.”
“What? Why?” I demanded, glaring at him. Ben always presented to the board. In fact, the last time I had joined himyears ago he told me my stiffness and directness were so off-putting that it would be best if he did it alone from then on.
“You know we have that big meeting. We’ve been preparing for it for weeks,” he said.
