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This would make things uncomfortable and awkward. And that would make my job more difficult. We had to clarify everything and find a way to navigate out of this delicate moment.
Finally, she returned to me, and my words formed with reluctant honesty.
“Lilith, I…” I started, finding it difficult to say it right now, mere moments after it all happened. But it was better than to let it take on a form that was not allowed. “I apologize for crossing the line.”
Her expression faltered for a moment, then she smiled, albeit awkwardly, which made her even more irresistible. “I kissed you, remember?”
“True, but I should have stopped it,” I told her, deciding to take full responsibility for this.
I didn’t even dare to think what might happen if her father found out about this. Then again, she had as much to lose as meif she told this to anyone. Something assured me we could keep this a secret, just between us. There was too much at stake.
“We will just forget that this happened,” I finally told her, sounding confident and determined.
“You mean pretend?” She questioned my words.
“Call it what you will,” I told her. “But it is of the utmost importance we never mention this to anyone.”
For a moment, I thought she looked hurt and disappointed. That was better than to have her infatuated by me.
“Don’t worry,” she said as confidently as me. “We shall maintain the established boundaries.”
“Yes,” I nodded quickly. I wanted to say something else, but she had already passed me and headed back to the castle. Her steps seemed to be filled with unspoken hurt, but I knew she was entitled to that.
I had apologized. I reestablished the boundaries. But it was my fucking mistake and I had to make it alright again somehow.
Chapter Seven
Lilith
“You had sex with your bodyguard!?” Cassandra exclaimed loudly, her eyes a silent witness to her shock.
I frowned, knitting my eyebrows. “Try louder. I don’t think everyone in the castle heard you.”
Instinctively, we both turned to the door of the library. This had always been our most favorite room in the entire castle. Seeing that I couldn’t contain the turmoil within me, I thought this would be the perfect place to share with Cass what happened. I knew I said I would keep it a secret, but with sisters, there were no secrets. This went without saying. It was Adrian’s own fault for not assuming this in the first place.
Besides, I needed to address this situation. I couldn’t keep it all to myself, because then, I would start thinking about a million things, confusing myself even more. No. I needed Cass for this, if I wanted to put all of this behind me.
To be quite honest, I didn’t even know what I wanted. It was something new. It was something exciting. It was something forbidden. It was something completely foreign to me. That was what made me do it. It was as simple as that.
“It was a mistake,” I shrugged, trying to make it into less than it actually was, for my own sake. “He said so himself.”
“He said so?” she echoed, wondering.
“Mhm,” I nodded. “But if he hadn’t said it first, I would have, so it’s fine.”
Great job, Lil. Very convincing.
Cass didn’t say anything, but I knew she was thinking the same thing. Still, I appreciated her keeping this to herself. I wanted to hear the truth she had to share with me, but at thesame time, I did not. I wanted to believe that such adventures were alright, if no one got hurt. In our case, that was exactly what happened. We didn’t owe an explanation to anyone. Some might say I owed it to Luke, but again… we were not in a relationship. I made that perfectly clear. And our marriage would not make it magically so.
“So, we’ll just both forget about it,” I added quickly. “Pretend that it never happened.”
Cass didn’t sound very convinced. “Is that possible?”
“Of course,” I scoffed. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know,” she said cautiously. “I’ve never been in such a situation. I wouldn’t know.”
Neither have I, I thought to myself. But there was no point in stating it out loud. I needed to keep assuring both myself and Cass that it was really nothing. Just something that happened in the moment, something that didn’t mean anything.
