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“What is it?” he asked again.
I only realized now that I didn’t even think about what I would offer as a reason for wanting to quit this job. I’d never been in this situation before. I took a deep breath, trying to come up with the right words.
“I cannot continue to work for you any longer,” I told him simply.
I crossed the line.
I had sex with your daughter, the very person I was supposed to keep safe from such harmful situations, and by doing this, I put her in even more danger.
That was what I should have said, but of course, I didn’t. These words remained confined inside my mind, lingering forever.
The king’s brow furrowed in surprise, his eyes reflecting a hint of concern. He leaned forward across the desk, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity and urgency.
“Why?” he asked, equally simply, leaning back into his chair, as if he had regained a small part of control over the situation, which was an unknown up until a moment ago.
I hesitated. Again, how could I explain to him what happened?
I crossed the line I was never supposed to cross, and now, I felt more guilty than ever. I felt that I would not be able to do my job properly. If something happened to Lilith, her blood would be on my hands. I couldn’t let that happen. Not when her father could hire someone else, someone whose cock would stay inside his pants, who would be able to focus on the job at hand.
I didn’t know what made me slip up so badly. It had never happened before. Not a single time, and there had been tempting situations. Not once did I succumb to them. This time, however, was different, and I didn’t know why. The only reasonable explanation was that I was attracted to her without admitting it even to myself. That again, made my position as her bodyguard a dangerous one, for us both.
“Your Highness,” I hesitated for a moment, aware of the weight my following words would have. I met the king’s gaze, my voice steady as I spoke. “There are personal matters that have arisen. Urgent matters that require my attention. That means I need to reassess my priorities and devote my efforts elsewhere.”
We had been taught this tactic at the FBI. Say a lot of words but don’t really say anything meaningful. Many people would usually fall for this tactic. I should have known that the king wouldn’t be one of them.
“That is just a lot of words,” he pointed out. “I didn’t hear the actual reason why you would leave, when your commitment and expertise are invaluable to the safety of my daughter.”
I cleared my throat a little. I knew that if I said my reasons were private, that would make me appear very unprofessional. I couldn’t do that to my boss. That in turn would make us bothlook bad. I had always prized myself on finishing the job no matter what. Even if I was on the verge of dying, I would still pull through just for the successful completion of a job. Everyone who knew me knew that about me. This would be the first time I would leave an active job, and without a good excuse at that. The thought pissed me off immensely. Mostly so, because I put myself in this shitty situation.
Yes, she kissed me, but like I said, I could have pushed her away. I should have pushed her away and none of this would have happened.
“I know this makes me look very unprofessional,” I said, not really sure how to explain any of this. My resolve started to waver. My deep sense of commitment to my job won over.
“It does,” the king nodded gravely. “And I was told you were not that sort of a man. I myself did not see you as such when you first stood before me in this very room.”
“I know,” I nodded, feeling ashamed of how I wanted to run away at the first sight of a problem. That wasn’t who I was.
“Adrian, you are not just a bodyguard,” I heard him say. “You have no idea how much trust I have laid in you. You have become a pillar of strength for me, looking after what I hold most dear, my two daughters. The stability and safety you provide for them are invaluable to my own well-being. I ask you to think about something now, if you will.”
“Of course,” I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“Think carefully about the impact your absence would have,” he clarified. A moment later, he said words I could not ignore. “I urge you to reconsider.”
His gaze softened, and inside of me, a decision was made. My loyalty and dedication reignited. I could understand the weight of the king’s words and the significance of my role. I knew he would not be able to find anyone else. At least, not as quickly, and definitely not as good as me.
He needed me. Lilith needed me.
Maybe that second one was more important. I couldn’t tell. All I knew was that I agreed with him, and I wanted to assure him that he could count on me.
“You are right, Your Highness,” I told him with a nod. “I apologize for the confusion caused. My commitment is to your daughters’ safety and the kingdom itself. My personal affairs will be resolved in a different way. I will remain dutiful and stay on, as we agreed.”
Relief seemed to wash over the king’s face upon hearing my words, gratitude shining in those old, wise eyes. He got up from his chair, walking around the desk and approached me. Then, he extended his hand towards me, a gesture of trust and appreciation.
“I am very grateful for your decision,” he said. “Your loyalty and dedication have not gone unnoticed.”
“Thank you, Your Highness,” I shook his hand back, and at that moment, a sense of newfound purpose settled inside of me. “I will not let you down.”
I felt as if our bond as a monarch and a protector was reaffirmed, and he could fully trust that I would do what he had hired me to.
