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“I know you won’t,” he smiled in that way only someone who had lived many years filled with wisdom could smile. “Now, is that all?”
“Yes,” I smiled back, nodding. “I won’t keep you any longer.”
He settled back into his chair, and that was where I left him when I closed the door behind me. A sense of relief washed over me. I was determined to see this mission to a successful end, like all the others.
However, as the weight of this commitment settled upon me, I couldn’t help but worry about the impact this wouldhave on Lilith and our… relationship. We obviously shared a connection that went beyond our professional obligations, and I couldn’t deny how attracted I was to her.
Thoughts of her consumed my mind, as I walked through the hallways of the castle. I knew that Lilith was in the library with her sister. I had heard them there on my way to the king’s study. They were laughing about something. I wasn’t eavesdropping. It was merely impossible not to overhear the joyful chuckle of two girls who were enjoying themselves.
This was a delicate balance that I needed to maintain. I vowed to myself that I would not let what had happened overshadow my dedication to duty. I needed to keep Lilith safe, even if that meant keeping her safe from herself. I would push aside any memory of the night by the lake. This was essential to maintain a professional distance and focus solely on my duty to protect her. After all, that was why I was here.
Chapter Nine
Lilith
I couldn’t participate in this conversation. So, I allowed Cass to discuss the wedding plans with Luke. I just couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that settled inside of me.
Thoughts raced through my mind, questioning everything, whether I was truly ready for this lifelong commitment. I always imagined my wedding day as a joyous occasion, filled with love and anticipation. However, in this moment, all I could feel was a deep sense of unease.
“… flower arrangements have been designed already,” I heard Cass say. “Lil’s favorites.”
“Sunflowers?” Luke asked, but they all knew he was right. Sunflowers had always been my favorite flowers and I couldn’t imagine such an occasion without them. However, now it seemed that I couldn’t imagine such an occasion at all, flowers or not.
I glanced at him, his smile and enthusiasm evident as he listened to my sister’s words. I felt bad. He seemed genuinely excited about our future together, and that only made things worse.
“Are you alright?” Luke asked, noticing my distant gaze. I could hear the concern in his voice, so I forced a smile, in an effort to mask my inner turmoil.
“I’m just a bit overwhelmed,” I said with a shrug. “And with not having slept well last night, I feel like my eyelids are way too heavy.”
“Drink your coffee,” he suggested. I had almost forgotten all about it. It was standing still on the silver tray, where the servant girl had left it. Luke and Cass had already drunk theirs.Mine had probably gotten cold by this point. “It should perk you right up,” he smiled.
“Sure,” I smiled back, leaning to reach for it.
I took a sip, and luckily, it was still lukewarm. It seemed bland, without much taste. I wasn’t sure if that was actually the coffee or me being without any energy to feel anything.
He lowered his head on my shoulder, as he always did, but again, it didn’t feel like before. Everything had changed and our usual things had become a burden to me, marred with that awkward sensation.
“I keep telling you, Lil,” he said. “Nothing will change. We will still be the best friends that we’ve always been. I want you to be comfortable every step of the way. So, if you don’t feel like talking about it, we won’t. Until the very day of the wedding, if you feel like it.”
I felt even worse after these words. I knew I should feel lucky to have someone like that, who actually cared about my feelings. I also knew that I didn’t have any enemies here. We were all friends. Family even. And I could tell these people everything, without any fear of being judged.
However, there was one thing I couldn’t tell Luke. Not now that we were about to get married. He wouldn’t understand. That was why I could only share what happened with Cass.
“Thank you,” I smiled at him happily. “I’m really grateful for both of you.”
“How could we do anything other than love you?” Luke patted my hand softly with his.
Then suddenly, his cheerful expression transformed into a look of discomfort. He winced, then clutched his stomach, causing both me and Cass to shift our focus to him.
“Luke, are you alright?” I asked.
Luke didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, bent forward, his hands pressing on his stomach. “No… not really…”
“Does your stomach hurt?” I asked again, watching as his face twisted into a grimace of pain. This sent me into a state of panic.
He struggled to speak, his face pale and contorted with agony. “I think I’m gonna vomit…”
I looked around, pointing at a wide brimmed vase in the corner. “Cass! Grab that and bring it over!”
