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Cass smiled back. She wasn’t expecting me to say this, and honestly, I also didn’t know where all this came from. Maybe Isuddenly realized that constantly whining was also not the way to go about this. I couldn’t change this situation, so I should adjust to it. It wasn’t going to last forever.
“Exactly,” Cass beamed at my words. “The world outside will be waiting for us when it is safe to venture outside again. Don’t doubt that. But for the time being, we can find adventures of our own, inside.”
At this moment, the weight of confinement lifted slightly, but enough for me to feel better, as I accepted Cass’ perspective, something that rarely happened. She was usually the one who followed me, but this time, it was the other way around. And it felt new. It felt great. Although that longing to be outside remained within me, I found comfort in the knowledge that it wouldn’t last forever and spending time with Cass was always fun.
We spent the rest of the day in the library and the attic, opening forgotten boxes and just like she said, finding treasures. But that night, I couldn’t fall asleep. Something wouldn’t let me. My window was open, and I felt that I could constantly hear noises I didn’t recognize. Instead of being afraid, they were drawing me to them, to come outside.
I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t prevent myself. After all, it was just the garden. I wouldn’t venture further than that. I would be mere steps away from the castle. I could call for help if I needed to.
At the same time, I knew that even if I didn’t see him, Adrian would be there. That thought alone made me feel protected and safe. That was all I needed to finally tilt the scales to one side. I grabbed my robe and tied the rope around my waist. Slowly, I tiptoed outside, and just as I was descending the staircase, I heard him. I doubt that he was even trying to remain quiet as he followed me.
I turned around to face him. Just from the way he was looking at me, I could figure out what he was thinking.
“You’re not planning on going outside, are you?” he asked me.
“I was kinda hoping that you’d catch me already outside,” I admitted.
“You know the rules,” he reminded me.
“I do,” I frowned. “But I feel stuck in this place. I need to go out, even just for a moment.”
“That’s going against the king’s order,” he told me again.
I descended the remaining few flights of stairs, and he did the same. Now, we were standing facing each other. He looked even more handsome for some reason.
“I just want to go out for a few minutes into the garden,” I explained. “I won’t stay long. I feel like I’m going to suffocate inside.”
He didn’t seem all that convinced, and to be quite honest, I had very little inclination to convince him. But I wanted him to know why I was so desperate to go out.
“The last time we had to be locked up like this was when vampires attacked my mom,” I clarified. “She was in bed, and all I could remember was how bad she looked. She was almost drained of all of her blood and Doctor Zalkind was doing everything in his power to save her. Unfortunately, he didn’t manage to do that. And we were all forced to remain inside these walls, watching my mother wither away until she was gone.”
I didn’t want to talk about this at all. That was why I didn’t mention this to Cass, although I’m sure she remembered this time well, being the older one. Enough bad things had already happened. I didn’t want to stir up the past and make everything even worse. But right now, I couldn’t hold my tongue.
He didn’t say anything at first. I thought silence was his way of telling me that I didn’t convince him. Just as I was aboutto pass him by and climb back up the stairs, he grabbed me by the elbow. I felt as if an electric bolt shot right through me. That deep yearning awakened instantly as his gaze pierced right through me.
“Lilith,” he said my name as if it were a prayer and the only thing in this world that could save him. It made goosebumps run up and down my entire body.
It was a foolish thing to even contemplate, but I’m sure he could see the desire in my eyes to go out, if only for a few precious moments. I felt that without this, I would burst into a fit of tears. I didn’t want that to happen.
“Just the garden?” he asked. I nodded, swallowing heavily. “Five minutes,” he added.
“Five minutes,” I nodded again gratefully.
We walked in silence, almost as if in a procession. Neither of us dared to say anything, probably out of fear that we might wake someone in the house, someone who would prevent us from reaching our destination. I had to admit that I didn’t think I would convince him. In a way, I wasn’t even trying to. I just wanted him to know why it was so important for me to go out.
As soon as we stepped into the garden, moonlight filtered through the branches of nearby trees, casting a silver sheen over the whole place. The flowers seemed to come alive, their petals reflecting the soft glow. I walked among them, reaching to touch their delicate forms, feeling a sense of wonder coursing through my veins.
I marveled at the flowers as if I was seeing them for the first time. The lush greenery around us formed a tapestry of life, vibrant and untamed. How different everything was out there, as fireflies danced in the darkness, their tiny lights twinkling like stars, adding to the enchantment of the night.
I lifted my gaze towards the night sky, where a canopy of stars stretched out above us. The vastness of the universeseemed to unfold before our very eyes, igniting a sense of insignificance and grandeur at the same time. I felt a soothing connection to something much greater than myself, a part of a cosmic symphony playing out in the night.
“I feel bad,” I suddenly said, without meaning to.
When I looked down, I noticed he had been staring at me the entire time.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because of everything,” I said with a sigh. “Because of… us… then, Luke.”
