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“I’m not saying that.” I could agree with her that much. “But just because there is something between us, that doesn’t mean we should act on it.”
A pang of guilt shot through me, but I steeled myself against it. “Like I said, it was a mistake, one we would pay for dearly if it were to become known.”
Again, I expected her to swear me to secrecy about all this, but she did no such thing. Almost as if she didn’t care at all whether Luke found out, or her father.
“Are you ashamed of what happened?” she asked me defiantly, her nostrils flaring as she spoke.
“What?” I frowned. “No, of course not. It’s not that at all.”
“Then what is it?” she demanded to know, as if it wasn’t obvious.
“Your marriage, Lilith,” I pointed out the obvious, since she wanted me to. “You will be another man’s wife very soon. I am a scoundrel for doing what I’ve done. This is all my fault.”
“No,” she shook her head. I expected her to cry, to be all emotional, but there was none of that. Instead, I was facing a strong woman, whose boldness and defiance surprised me. “Don’t speak to me as if I was a child. I already have someone who does that to me, and that is my father. I expected you to see me for who I am.”
“I do see you for who you are,” I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice down, but that was impossible. “I see all of you, and that is the problem. I get the feeling that no one else but me sees the real you, and I can’t pull away from you. That was why I couldn’t resist. That is also why I have to remain professional with you until the end of my employment here.”
“And then what?” Strangely, this was the first time I heard fear in her voice. It wasn’t when I told her that us sleeping together was a mistake. It was now, reminding her that my time here was limited.
“Then I leave you alone to live your life,” I said, a surge of pain coursing through my chest, making it increasingly more difficult for me to breathe.
I could barely say this aloud. The thought of never seeing her again was something I hadn’t thought about at all. But I knew that this would be the right thing to do. She had a path shehad been placed on, whether by her own will or someone else’s. What I thought about that didn’t matter.
I never had to make this choice before. Love battled against duty. Desire battled against sacrifice. The choice before me was an impossible one, but the solution was clear as daylight.
Every fiber of my being yearned to hold her in my arms and to ask her to be mine forever, to surrender to the intoxicating bliss that we shared. The tenderness of her touch, the sparkle in her eyes had ignited something in me, something I thought was long forgotten. Now, that fire burned brighter with each passing moment. I cared about her deeply. That much was undeniable. I dared not think about love, because that would have been too painful.
“What if I don’t want you to leave me alone?” she suddenly asked, bringing me back to the present moment.
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly that,” she said, without much clarification.
She started to pace about the room, cracking her knuckles. That was the only sound that echoed in the room. I waited for her to stop, which she finally did, standing by the window. I was curious to hear what she had to say, but she seemed to be debating with herself whether she should continue with this or not, which only made me even more curious.
Still, I didn’t want to push her into anything. I waited until she seemed ready to share whatever it was she had intended to. As I was watching her, it seemed that her inner turmoil mirrored my own. Mine was my constant companion, and I knew it would continue to be that for the rest of my time here. I was torn between going and staying. But there was no reason to stay, and so many reasons to go.
“There are things you don’t know about me,” she suddenly said, sounding mysterious.
“What things?” I lifted my brow in surprise.
I thought I knew everything there was to know about her. After all, this was crucial. Her father had told me what she was like. Even her sister had joined in this conversation, something that was kept a secret from Lilith, and together, they painted a picture of Lilith as she truly was.
But now, she was telling me that there was something about her life in the present that I didn’t know. That was possible, but I doubted it was something that mattered, something that changed anything.
I approached her, and now, we were standing facing each other. We were so close that I could smell the scent of her skin, and I knew it was something that would linger forever in my mind. But I had to focus on the present moment right now. My heart was still heavy with my decision, as I waited to hear her out, to hear what it was I didn’t know about her.
I could see the determination in her eyes. Instantly, it assured me that it was something important. At least, it was something she herself considered important and that was good enough for me.
“Whatever it is, Lilith, you can talk to me,” I assured her, growing concerned now.
All sorts of wild ideas appeared in my mind. Was she sick? Was there a secret plan I didn’t know about? Was something happening behind my back? Still, I kept these questions to myself, deciding to give her the chance to speak when she felt confident enough to do so. Although my heart was beating wildly in anticipation.
I took her by the hands and held them in mine. It would have been so easy to pull her closer, to lock my arms around her and kiss her again. But that would be another mistake, which we couldn’t repeat. This had to stop. But not before she told me what she had to say.
“It is about my engagement,” she finally said. “Luke and I—”
But before she could utter another word, a sudden knock on the door shattered the moment. We both turned our attention to the door, a flicker of disappointment crossing Lilith’s face. Without any warning, the door opened, and Luke’s surprised face greeted us both. He cleared his throat before speaking.
