Page 84 of Loved Enough


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“A nightmare?” Maverick asked, his oxygen mask gone.

“Yes. Do you get them often?” the nurse asked.

Maverick looked unsure. He swung his gaze to me. “Have I had them before?”

I nodded. “Just one.”

“Well, don’t you worry about a thing,” the current nurse on duty stated with a pat to his arm. “No one is going to be leaving you anytime soon.”

Maverick frowned, looking confused.

“Now, the doctor wants this oxygen mask on at least until tomorrow morning, when he comes to see you.”

Without taking his gaze away from mine, Maverick sat still while the nurse put the mask back on and helped to adjust his pillow.

“Feeling okay? How’s the pain?”

“Hurts a bit.”

“I’ll go get you some Tylenol, it’s almost time for your next dose anyway.”

We were silent until she returned with his pills. Once the nurse left again, Maverick finally said, “That’s why you asked me about nightmares.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yes.”

He pulled the mask off again. “I didn’t realize I had them.”

“It’s only been the one time, and I didn’t hear you tonight. If I had, I would have woken you up before you hurt yourself.”

Maverick looked down at the bed. “I don’t even remember having them. What do I say?”

I sat on the edge of his bed. “Um…the one I heard…you sounded like a younger boy talking. You cried out for someone not to leave, and then asked not to be taken away. Then you repeated a few times that they left you. I’m guessing it was a dream about when your foster parents passed away.”

His hand went to the back of his neck, and he seemed lost in thought. He remained silent for a few more minutes before he said, “I really loved them. They were the first people I ever said those words to. And I knew they loved me.” He smiled softly. “They told me every single day. Showed it too. I remember feeling utterly lost when they died. Gutted.”

“Is that why it’s so hard for you to let any of us in?”

He jerked his head up, and our gazes caught. “My family. Me. You have a wall built up around you, Maverick, and I’m trying my best to climb over it. But just when I get to the top…it feels like you pile on more bricks and mortar with your silence.”

He attempted to take in a deep breath and winced. “It’s hard to let people in when you’ve been alone your entire life, Lily. When you’ve had nobody to count on but yourself.”

I shook my head. “Is that what you want? To be alone? To never stand on the edge of a cliff and just fall? Because that’s what I’m doing with you, and I would really like to know you’re falling with me.”

He rubbed his lips together, as if trying to keep words in. He looked everywhere but at me.

“Maverick, look at me.”

When his gaze lifted, I could see the tears, and it just about broke my heart. Maybe tough love wasn’t the way to go. I really wished my parents were here. Just as I was about to tell him it was okay, he didn’t have to say anything, he spoke.

“I’m scared, Lily.”

I took his hand in both of mine and kissed it. “Of me?”

He shook his head. “No. Well…kind of. I was devastated when Mindy and Justin died. If you ever left me, I know I would be completely broken. And I…I don’t know if I can allow myself to take that chance.”

A tear slipped free, and he watched it trail down my cheek. I could see the pain in his eyes, and I would have given anything to take it away.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

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