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Time to get the conversation started.
I sat down, allowed my eyes to roam over her face, and finally spoke. “Before anything else, I need you to know that I’m terribly sorry for how I reacted yesterday. You did not deserve to be treated the way I treated you, Lamise.”
“I appreciate your apology, Banks. But it really isn’tnecessary. I’m sorry for assuming anything about your situation. It was insensitive. The last thing I want to do is make assumptions again, but I have to believe, based on what I saw today, that you have a good reason for reacting the way you did.”
“I might have a good reason, but it doesn’t excuse my behavior,” I maintained. “I think it’s important for you to understand just how grateful I am to you for the way you care for Rhys. Honestly, I don’t know how I happened to be there at the right time, but I’m not going to sit and dwell on it, either. Instead, I’d rather just make sure you know how much of an impact you’ve made here. We’re very lucky to have you here.”
Something changed in her expression. It started off as surprise, but it quickly turned to relief. When tears filled her eyes, I started to think that I’d gotten it wrong. But then she rasped, “Can I still come here to watch him for you?”
Damn.
Not that there’d be any doubt about how seriously she took her job as Rhys’s nanny and how much she adored him, but if there had been any questions lingering about it, that reaction would have cleared everything up.
“I hate that you think I wouldn’t want that,” I replied.
More relief moved through her as her shoulders relaxed, and she sat back in the seat and closed her eyes briefly.
Following several long beats of silence, I finally blurted, “Rhys’s mom died when he was three months old.”
Lamise’s eyes shot open as her hand reached out instinctively to my arm. Whether she’d intended for it to or not, her touch offered a sense of comfort I hadn’t felt in a very long time. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Banks.”
“Thank you. Violet and I weren’t together for very long before she got pregnant with him. I wasn’t even married toher for a full year. For some reason, I can’t seem to bring myself to take off the ring.”
Lamise remained silent a moment before she asked, “May I ask what happened to her?”
This was the part I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle sharing. The last thing I wanted to do was paint Violet in a bad light, but I couldn’t be sure how Lamise would react to the news.
After I took a moment to consider that, I realized Lamise hadn’t done anything to indicate she was that kind of woman.
So, I inhaled deeply to prepare myself to share the truth, and after I exhaled that breath, I shared, “She had suffered from post-partum depression, and before I recognized what was happening, it was already too late.”
I felt a reassuring squeeze on my arm. “Oh, Banks. I’m so sorry. She didn’t tell you?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure she knew what was happening. Or maybe she did, and she didn’t want to appear weak in some way. There are so many questions I’ll never have answers to.”
“You probably feel like you’ve got no choice but to move forward when all you want to do is rewind and go back to a time that didn’t hold so much hurt,” Lamise declared, her thumb absentmindedly stroking over my skin.
I didn’t know how she knew it, but that was precisely how I felt.
Of course, after I gave myself a minute, it hit me. She understood, because she’d lost her dog. Loss was loss, and I felt compelled to give her the same opportunity to share what happened to her dog, if she wanted to take it.
“What happened to your dog?” I asked.
Rapidly blinking her eyes, Lamise tried to rein in heremotions. It broke my heart to see her like that, because the more I talked with her, the more I realized just how big of a heart this woman had.
“That’s just it. I don’t exactly know what happened to him,” she revealed, pulling her hand away.
I tipped my head to the side and assessed her. “Was he sick?”
She shook her head. “No. No, it wasn’t anything like that. It’s just that… well, Henry went missing the same day my fiancé died.”
In an instant, my entire body locked. “Are you serious?”
Nodding, Lamise confirmed, “Yeah, it happened last summer. Graham was a runner, and he took Henry with him. They’d always go out on a Saturday morning. Graham would take Henry to the dog park, and they’d go for a run along the wooded hiking trail near the park. A little while after they were expected to be home that day, officers had shown up instead to tell me that my fiancé had died from a snake bite.”
Christ.
She couldn’t be serious.
