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I’d never know for sure, but I prayed Lamise was right.
Following another beat of silence, Lamise asked, “So, where do we go from here?”
“I think we both want more than what we’ve had these last few weeks, and I think we have valid concerns about being able to do it freely, without the guilt hanging over our heads. That said, I believe this could be something incredibly special between us, and I would love to see us give it a real shot. If you want to go slow, we can absolutely do that. I’m not going anywhere.”
Lamise pressed her palm to the center of my chest, so she could push back and look at my face. “I think I have something I need to do tomorrow, to give myself a bit of peace about this. But I agree with you, Banks. I think what we’ve got here is incredibly special, and I’m just not willing to let you or Rhys go. I know I want the both of you in my life.”
I brushed a lock of her hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Take all the time you need. We’ll get there when the time is right.”
She smiled at me. I smiled back.
“I think I’d be alright with it, if you’d like to kiss me again, though.”
The smile on my face grew. “I’d be alright with that, too.”
A moment later, my mouth was on hers. Lamise and I spent a long time together, kissing and cuddling. We didn’t take things past that point, and I was completely okay with it.
And eventually, she went home.
After she left, I cleaned up our dishes from dinner, climbed the stairs, and got into my bed. No sooner had I done that, my phone chimed with a text from Lamise, letting me know she made it home and thanking me for a wonderful night.
I turned to my side, looked at the picture on my nightstand, and felt a wave of sadness move through me. “In a million years, I never would have looked at another woman if you were here with me. But you’re not, and I can’t change that no matter how many times I’ve wished I could.” I slipped my wedding band off my finger. Setting it down on the nightstand in front of the frame, I continued, “I’ll always love you, Violet. Always. I like her, and I think I could love her, too. She likes me, and I hope you can understand why I need to explore this. You’ll always be in my heart.”
Violet’s picture didn’t respond.
And in the morning, I knew I had to put the ring away somewhere safe and move the picture to another place in the house.
Lamise
“I took off your ring.”
The words I never thought I’d say spilled out of me as I stood, staring at Graham’s headstone.
I’d made up my mind last night—this was where I needed to be this morning. I needed to come here to talk to Graham, to tell him where my life had taken me, and to make sure he knew how I felt.
“I would have worn it forever, if you were still here,” I started. “Part of me feels bad I took it off, because I love you, Graham. I never wanted any of this.”
My emotions clogged my throat, and I had no choice but to pause and pull myself together.
This was hard, much harder than I had anticipated it being. And I woke up this morning thinking if I could get through what I believed would be the worst in all of this—finally taking off the engagement ring Graham had given me when he proposed—everything else would be a breeze.
God, it had nearly destroyed me to slip Graham’s ring off my finger. But as hard as it was, it was also necessary.
I needed it if I was going to ever find a way to move on with my life.
“Everything was already so messed up, then I saw your video,” I began again. “It breaks my heart that I still have no idea what happened to you. And though I know they are doing all they can, I realize it’s possible I may never knowthe truth about your death. I wish… I wish you would have talked to me, Graham. I wish you would have told me what was happening, so I could have helped. Or, I don’t know, at the very least, I wouldn’t be here wondering how it all went wrong.”
My mind wandered, no less than a half dozen questions filtering through my brain. Would I ever learn the truth?
Recognizing I was getting myself off track and understanding how important it was for me to say what I needed to say, I continued, “I met someone. I didn’t plan for it, didn’t even think I wanted it. So, I never expected it. But he understands me and what I’m going through in a way not many other people would ever be able to. He’s nice, Graham. He’s really nice. And he has a little boy who’s stolen my heart. They’ve made me happy, and I’m excited about life again.”
This was it.
This was my last chance to stop myself, to walk away and pretend last night with Banks never happened.
The thought made me sick. I couldn’t pretend he didn’t mean anything, because I’d have been lying to myself.
So, I ended, “You said you wanted me to be happy, to find happiness again. I’m going to do that. I’m sorry it’s not with you, Graham. It devastates me. But I hope it allows you to rest easier knowing I’ve found someone who wants to try to find something special with me.”
