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Understanding I was struggling to figure out what to say, Banks spoke. “Sometimes, I think about it, and if I could go back and do it over again, I would have probably introduced her to everyone sooner. I don’t know if that would have changed anything, but maybe someone else would have seen what I didn’t. She was estranged from her family, so it’s not like they were around to see the change in her and what I missed.”
My heart broke for him.
“The things we wish we could go back and do over again,” I murmured. “I’ve gone over everything in my head about what happened to Graham so many times, and I try to wrack my brain for answers. What did I miss? What was right in front of my face that I overlooked? There are never any answers.”
The silence stretched between us for a while, the two of us lost in the heaviness of it all.
But after some time passed, Banks said, “Lamise, I want you to know that I’m grateful.”
“Grateful?” I repeated.
“For you. For a second chance. Obviously, we don’t know where this is going to go, but there’s something that tells me if you weren’t going to be someone special in my life, I wouldn’t be here feeling the way that I do. I guess I just want you to know, especially if you’re wondering why I’m not hiding you from anyone, it’s because I want to seize the opportunity to do it right this time, to do it better. I believe this has the potential to go the distance.”
“Do you really mean that?” I asked, feeling a mix of hope and worry.
He hesitated briefly before he said, “You’ll never be to me what Violet was to me.” My body went rock solid, and Banks attempted to offer a reassuring squeeze. “That’s nota bad thing, Lamise. I would never want to be to you what Graham was to you. I’m always going to love Violet the same way I know you’ll always love Graham. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be someone important in your life. It doesn’t mean I think we can’t have a future. In fact, I think it’s the reason we have a fighting chance at a future. It’ll just be different. I want something different with you than I had with Violet. I want the chance to love you differently than I loved her.”
None of the words he said helped to ease the rigidity in my body. But it wasn’t because I was upset or offended by what he said. I was shocked. Surprised. Relieved.
Banks had just said he wanted the chance to love me differently, and it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me.
I was so moved by his words, I couldn’t speak. But I knew I had to do something to show him how much it meant to hear him say what he did.
So, I found a way to move.
I brought my hand up to his jaw, and my fingers stroked gently along the stubbled skin there. For a while, my eyes remained focused on the movement of my fingers and shifted to my thumb when I dragged it across his bottom lip.
The moment my thumb stopped on the opposite side of his lip, I lifted my gaze to his and saw the fire burning in his eyes. “Do you really want to try to love me differently?” I whispered my question.
“I don’t think I need to try, Lamise. I think I already do,” he revealed.
If I allowed this wonderful man to continue to speak, I wasn’t going to make it another five minutes without breaking down intotears.
So, I found a way to silence him. With my hand still cupping the side of his face, I shifted my body slightly, so I could touch my mouth to his.
Closing my eyes, I allowed my lips to graze his. Banks’s fingertips pressed in on my body, and it was all the encouragement I needed to go for more. It was no longer about a gentle brush of my lips or a sweet and tender touch.
It was about drinking him in, taking all I could get, everything he wanted to give me. And when he realized what I was doing, Banks didn’t hesitate to give. As though he hadn’t given me enough with the words he’d just shared, Banks poured whatever he had left into our kiss.
There had been plenty of kisses before this one, yet none of them compared. This one wasn’t filled with nerves about it being so new or worries about betrayals.
It was just us—Banks and Lamise.
We deserved this moment.
It was just as Banks had said. We were allowed to have something more than what we’d given ourselves, and it didn’t have to be anything like what we had before with someone else.
It could be different, and it could be beautiful.
Begrudgingly, I tore my mouth from his. “Will you show me?”
“Show you what?”
“How you intend to love me.”
His eyes searched my face. “Are you sure you’re ready for it?”
Weeks ago, I felt unsure about a lot of things happening in my life. There was still plenty I’d likely feel hesitant about as the days passed. But there was one thing that no longer had me feeling any caution.
