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Ileave Holly’s house feeling wound tighter than a damn coil. I crick my neck and sigh loudly. I want to punch something, but I can’t. Grace is humming in the back seat, so I grip the wheel tight enough to choke the car itself. The last thing I want to do tonight is knock back a few beers and hang with the guys. Gritting my teeth, I tap the wheel to keep my mind from drifting down a closed path. What I think I want, I can’t have. I wish I didn’t want her, nor do I want anyone else to have her. Self-disgust reminds me of how I felt after that night. One night, mere minutes, a spec in time, and my life had come crashing down around me. My personality had suffered. I became angry, my life was falling apart and I added to the downfall. I’d annihilated my parents’ house in a rage, ripping furniture from the walls, punching holes in any surface. It resembled a dump. One fucking night and I lost everything, my future, Holly and my family. They couldn’t wait to get away from me. The residents of Richmond had withdrawn from me, and all I had back then were my friends, the ones who mattered anyway. I still had them, despite the anger they had faced. Their families' anger at sticking by me, my anger at feeling so out of control. That same anger is breathing its way out my chest.
“Why are you not Holly’s friend?” Grace suddenly asks.
“I am her friend,” I snap, then realise what I have done. “We’re friends,” I say, softer than before.
“No, you’re not.” Jeez, what's with her attitude today?
“Grace, some adult things are hard to understand. We can’t always explain it to children.”
“Holly explains things to me,” Grace answers. There is a note of smugness in her young voice I don't much care for.
“Different things. Look, it's not for your ears. Me and Holly are friends,” I state tiredly. Fucking hell, I can’t be doing with having a kid pulling me up about shit too. I still feel like an ass for upsetting Holly, seeing her hurt. Hearing her ask me to leave her alone made my gut plunge with guilt. I was knowingly being a prick to her. It was the easiest way to define where we stood with one another. The less we get along, the easier it will be for us. The irony is, I can’t seem to stay away from her, and I don’t want to get close to her either. I’m being choked by a mix of emotions, all too much for me to handle, and Holly was getting the brunt of my anger. With any luck, I have scared her off for good. She’s not someone I could ever be friends with. Not after what we shared. I don’t care how young we were.
When I reach Dan’s, Cole and Brant have already parked up. Brant is leaning on the bonnet and Cole is sitting in the driver's seat. I park beside them and help Grace out as Dan pulls in. “My daddy is here!” Grace jumps down from the car and hops about, waiting for Dan to get out.
“Hey, baby.” He scoops her up. “Did you have a great time at riding?”
“Yes, and Uncle Cam shouted at Beau’s mummy,” she declares loudly.
“Thanks, Grace.” I tut when my friends glare at me. “It wasn’t like that.”
“He did. She was shaking and said she was cold, but it's sunny out,” Grace imparts, making me feel like the biggest piece of shit in Richmond. Dan frowns at me, and I give a light shake of my head.
Fuck.
“Okay, well, I will have words with him,” Dan tells Grace, who turns and gives me a smirk. She’s such a little fucker. Groaning, I hang my head when Cole gives me a pointed stare.
“I need a beer,” I mutter in the hope it will distract them all, and we follow Dan in. Grace is going ten to the dozen about riding and how she and Beau are best friends.
“That's great. So you had a good time, then?” Dan asks, handing us all a beer. I twist the cap and guzzle half of it down. This day needs to take a running jump.
“Yup, and we need to be nice to Holly.” Grace swings a glare at me. Cole coughs, Brant sniggers, and Dan smirks. “Yup, because I want her to be my mummy,” she tells us all proudly. The way she says it sounds as if she has done Dan a favour.
I spray my drink everywhere, coughing and spluttering. I gasp for air and wide hands slap my back. “Fucking hell, not again!” someone says.
“Swear jar, swear jar!” Grace shouts. “You swore!” I watch her through my watery eyes as she stomps over and points a finger at Brant.
Dan and Holly. The visual makes my gut shrivel and my head explode. It was hard enough coming to terms with Holly and the wet fish guy, but Dan and Holly, over my dead body. I finally catch my breath and look right at my friend. I glare at him, and he holds his hands up. “Nothing is happening.” He sighs, evidently tired of me throwing yet again another hissy fit.
“It better not be,” I growl, not caring how much of a psycho I sound. Holly is mine, they all know it.
Dan walks over to Grace and drops in front of her. “Gracie, I know you want a mummy, and I know Holly is lots of fun, but Daddy doesn’t like Holly that way.”
Holly is stunning, kind, sweet, gorgeous, fun. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “Oh,” Grace murmurs, “So she can’t be my mummy?”
“Just friends,” Dan tells her softly. “You want her to be your friend, don't you?”
Grace nods and gives Dan a hug as she holds on to him. “She could be my mummy and you can be Beau’s daddy.”
“Beau has a daddy, sweetheart, you can’t just?—”
“No, she doesn't,” Grace whines. “You can be her daddy, please?” she begs, her big eyes making Dan go pale.
“Grace, Beau has a daddy,” Dan says more sternly. I silently plead with him to dig further. Where has Grace got this idea from?
“No, she needs one. She was a gift,” Grace huffs, wriggling free and running off. I hear the tail end of her crying and Dan stands up, looking baffled.
“I can’t even cope with this day anymore,” he murmurs, staring ahead like he has been given an unsolvable equation.
