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“Cam, you’re tittering on the edge. Holly being home has sent you back.” He slaps my chest.
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I accuse, throwing myself down on the sofa. They need to get off my fucking back.
“Because you flinch when anyone says her name, you’re constantly trying to get information on her, and since she returned, you're on edge. Focus on you and Nadine. Holly has a family. You have a good thing going. Don’t fuck it up,” Dan responds carefully. “I'm going to hit the sack.” He sighs. “Spare room is yours.”
I'm too wound up to sleep, so I let myself out of Dan's house and go to my car, looking for my gym kit. My feet pound the ground, and my heart begins to pump like a piston. I lap the village and keep going. I run until I'm struggling for air, grabbing my knees and panting loudly. I should have brought a drink with me. Standing to my full height, I put my hands on my waist to dispel the stitch I have. As I drag in a deep breath of air through my nose, I look around. I'm outside Holly’s. My heart seizes momentarily, but instead of shirking it away, I let it twistme up. I always felt like that around her. How I hadn’t noticed her for all that time in college still baffles me now. I’d caught sight of her going into the library. Her blonde hair shining under the light, gentle eyes and pursed lips. She was hidden behind a stack of books and in her own world, oblivious to the racket going on around her. My feet had moved of their own accord, following her through shelves of books until I could watch her. She was so eager to learn and chewed her lips as she worked with a creaseless frown. My feet had taken me to her, much like now. I’d had no intention of coming here and yet here I am. I slip through the gate and circle the house so I'm in the safety of the back garden. Stopping dead, I find Holly curled up under a blanket with a book and a glass of wine out on the decking. She has headphones in and her lips twist upwards as she reads what's in front of her. I smile. It’s nothing like the smiles she has given me since she returned; this is unreserved, full and free.
She shifts, her back going straight as her eyes sweep the garden. Fuck. I stand still knowing I have the coverage of the trees and bushes, but then she moves inside hurriedly. The door slams shut and locks loudly. She knew someone was there. I scared her.
Great, I’ve become a fucking stalker.
Chapter Ten
Holly
Today is the big day. I'm both nervous and excited. I’ve been up since five am, fretting that I’ve missed something. I have showered, dressed and my makeup looks seamless. As I check my reflection for the fourth time, I stroke my summer dress, looking for creases. I pinned my hair up into a large bun, and I'm messing with tendrils when Beau excitedly patters through to me. I’d hung up her school uniform, ready for her first day at big school, only her cardigan is inside out and she has her shoes on the wrong feet. “Big school!” She smiles, flapping her hands because the sleeves are too long.
“Oh, boo.” I laugh. “Here, let me help you.” I get her straightened up, then give her a big kiss. She looks grown up and yet so small and innocent at the same time. “You’re such a big girl.”
“I am big.” She’s proud as punch. “Can I have plaits?” she asks, pushing her hair out of her face.
“Sure, let's brush our teeth, get breakfast and then I’ll plait your hair.”
“Pancakes?”
“I'm out of eggs, but I did get some of that unicorn cereal you like,” I offer, spritzing myself.
“Yay!”
I leavean excited Beau at school. Dan gives me a polite smile as we cross paths on our way out of the classrooms. I catch sight of Cam standing further away as he, too, watches Grace start her first day at school. Both men look emotional, but neither truly shows it. Cam rubs the back of his neck, waving to Grace, and Dan is beaming a mile wide. I'm glad to have the distraction of the shop. School is Beau’s world now. She and Grace clutch hands, then they are off.
“Bye, Mummy!” Beau calls through the window, and Cam's head snaps round, searching the playground. I wave brightly, avoiding looking to my right, to where I can feel dark green eyes sending a prickle of awareness down my cheek, along my neck, then across my body.
“Bye, boo!” I call back, my eyes heating with happy tears. I bite my lip so she doesn’t see me getting choked up.
“Good luck on your opening today, Holly!” A parent beams. “We’ll be in later for a brownie!” One of the parents smiles as she passes, a few others murmuring similar congratulations, and I blush, smiling in thanks at their interest. I had put flyers up around the village over the weekend and dropped them into the shops and summer club during Beau’s last session. We even drove into Barton the next town over and posted the flyers to garner as much interest as possible. I also handed a stack into the church to be passed around at Sunday service.
“Thank you, see you later, hopefully,” I say to another parent as he tips his head towards me. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I lift my head and find Cameron is staring across the playground at me. We talked about dropping our first child at school together, enjoying their first day, and how we would celebrate with them in the evening. The reality is so far from thedream we spoke about that I feel my chest concave. It detracts from the joy I felt only seconds ago for Beau. I don’t want his presence to ruin my happiness. With a deep sigh, I get in my car, and my phone rings. “Hi, Mum,” I answer.
“How did she go in?” My mother’s cultured voice eases down the line. She is pristine and a self-proclaimed socialite, while my father was a college professor. He was happier surrounded by paper and knowledge. They say opposites attract, and for a while, they did. They had me, and when I was six, they divorced. My mother’s world was nothing I wanted so I stayed with my father.
“Great, she gave me a hug, then she was gone.” I laugh. “She’s made a new friend and they are excited to be at school together.”
“How wonderful. I remember your first day,” she tells me with a nostalgic lilt in her tone.
“You do?”
“Of course,” she mutters. “Marcus loved being with you. He mentioned inviting you both back here?” I blink at her sudden change in topic.
“Oh well, the shop opens today, and I'm going to be so busy. I really need to focus on that and Beau, so maybe in a few weeks.”
“He’s a good man.” Oh god, not this again.
“Mother, Marcus is a friend and nothing more.” I recite like I have done the last two times she has brought this up. I thought it was a ploy to keep me in London, but she won’t let it go. Ever since I’ve been back in Richmond, each phone call or text we have shared has alluded to Marcus and I being more than friends.
“Friends develop feelings. He has plenty of time for Beau and lord knows it’s hard to find someone willing to take on someone else's child,” she protests.
“My feelings are very platonic. I don't want to date, Mother. I really have to go now. I need to get to the shop.”
