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“What have you been asking her?” she demands.
“Nothing, she said babies are born here, and I said that her mummy and daddy will have had her in the hospital,” I mumble.
“Jesus, Cam,” Dan huffs, nearly giving me away. I eye him, silently telling him to shut the fuck up.
“What the hell is a dough hur?” I say, annoyed that she is pissed off with me.
“Donor,” Dan says quietly, apparently far more in tune with child talk than me. My eyes bulge. She used a fucking donor!
“Is that true?” I demand loudly. All these fucking years, I thought of nothing else but her and the life we could have, the children. And she uses a donor.
Dan groans, and Holly laughs scathingly. “It’s none of your business,” she spits and grabs her bags up. Beau looks befuddled.Me too, kid!
She grabs her mum's face. “You was ready to love again.” Beau nods, and Holly hugs her close, kissing her hair.
“I don't understand,” I stammer.
Holly hooks her bag over her shoulder, her hands shaking.
“Excuse us.” She moves away quickly and finds a chair away from us.
“What the hell!” I look at Dan.
My friend eyes me hopelessly.
“Can you believe she used afuckingdonor?”
“Yes,” Dan says shortly.
What? He can? This is bullshit. “Seriously?” I scoff, outraged by Holly’s decisions and my so-called mate’s understanding.
“Yes, Cam, she’s all or nothing.”
“I know that.”
“But a donor, I don't get it.” I'm confused, angry. Hurt. Can I be hurt? Yes, I'm fucking hurt that my chance to give Holly everything she ever wanted was handed over to her by an unknown. Beau is incredible and no one would ever wish to change her for the world, but how could Holly give her a life without a father.
“How is it I'm more in tune with your ex than you?” Dan mutters, looking around for Emily, but she hasn’t returned.
“Go deep throat yourself,” I grunt.
“Beau said she was ready to love again,” Dan reminds me. “Holly is all or nothing. She gave it all to you. So she isn’t ever going to give it to another man again, not after she thought you did wrong by her. She gave it all to her daughter,” he explains in a tone that suggests I'm stupid. “That's one fifty for the therapy session.”
My eyes widen with realisation. Was she ever with anyone else after me? What if she never was able to move on and meet anyone at all? That’s bullshit, that dweeb Marcus is always lingering about. The guy is like a stale fart. Holly is now at the main desk and looks concerned.
“I’ll go find out.” I stand, but Dan grabs my arm.
“Leave her alone, Cam.”
She begins collecting all her things up again, struggling with Beau and the bags. Ignoring Dan, I walk over and pick her bag up.
“What are you doing?” she snaps.
“Helping. Give me the bags.” I yank them from her and smirk when she glares at me. Holly always relents. She was always easy to break down. It used to be our thing. She’d be stubborn, I'd wear her down and then I’d fuck her slowly to thank her for giving in to me. Beau said she had her because she was ready to love again. I do the calculations quickly. Beau is five. Knowingwhat I know about Holly, she wouldn't have dated in the time before Beau if she wasn’t ready and if she chose love with a child, then she never met anyone else. I was her last. I was also her first. Fuck. Marcus is a friend. But he wants more; he's in this for the long game. Stupidity tells me I have a chance again.
“Emily has gone for an X-ray, suspected break.”
“Ah, hell, Dan is going to feel shit.”
