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“Yes,” I snarl quietly. I hate this place with an absolute passion.
“You both declare your love and you state you’re leaving her and Richmond for good?” Her stylus clips the iPad, bringing my narrowed eyes to hers. I'm starting to doubt myself now.
She purses her mouth, and I get the distinct sense she is disappointed with me. Ditto. I want to tell her she is shit at her job, but she continues on despite my obvious discomfort. “Would I be right in saying that you’re punishing Miss Matthewsfor all the years of heartache you endured because of her disappearance?”
And there it is. I'm a class-A bastard.
I hang my head and close my eyes. Guilt swims in my gut, cooling my veins and making my limbs heavy with remorse. Did I feel satisfaction at Holly’s hurt? Yes, I did. I was hoping she would be a little more theatrical and throw herself at me, but the result was the same. She is hurting because I made sure she knew she was at fault. She cheated us, not me.
“Cameron, I feel it’s crucial that Miss Matthews attends your next meeting.”
“Don’t bother, you've made your point.”
“And what point would that be?” Dr Peterson asks lightly.
“That this is the only way I know how to hurt her, and I’d rather cut my nose off to spite my face than risk being hurt again.”
“You’re still struggling to trust.”
“My parents disowned me, half the village still ignores me, and I hate that I care.” My voice filters into a frustrated whisper. Angered, I begin to pace her office.
“You want to be acknowledged and respected for the man you are, not the man from the rumour.” I pin her with a look that says she is stupid for pointing out the obvious. She tilts her head, still expecting an answer. I nod and blow out a stream of air. “And on the other hand, I think fuck them. They’ll need me before I do them.” I verbalise one of my many thoughts on the subject.
“I believe the only person's opinion that matters to you is wondering how she is going to cope when you leave her after she hoped she might just get you back.” Dr Peterson stands with a practised smile, and I curl my lip, insulted. She isn’t supposed to be giving me such a hard time. I'm paying her to help me, not make me feel like a loose fucking cannon again. “That does,however, bring us to our hour.” The sneaky fucker, I narrow my eyes at her. “Are you hoping lasers will shoot out your eyes?” she muses, and I bark out a laugh.
“It’s a pleasure, as always, Dr Peterson.” I let myself out before she can suggest a little get-together with Holly again.
Chapter Nineteen
Cameron
The electric sander whirs therapeutically as I smoothen the edges. I raise the measured piece of wood and blow off the remaining sawdust. It bursts apart under the harsh puff of air and dances like falling snow before me. It’s one of my favourite smells, and being in here is exactly what my mind is demanding. I can never quite remember what made me pick up my first block of wood, but I had, and a small part of me relaxed. It had become a hobby, something to quieten my mind in the evenings. Nighttime was, and possibly still is, my least favourite time of the day after Sarah. Not only had the assault happened in the evening, but each time night came around, I was left with the stark and haunting realisation I was isolated, alone and left with too many thoughts to bring me any peace from the horror my life was. The love I had experienced in my childhood was nothing more than a dirty memory. They’d just left. My parents had packed their belongings and fled in the night, leaving an already devastated and terrified son to the unreasonable clutches of the law. I had never stood a chance. No one had believed me. It was her word against mine, and my cocky arse attitude had given me a middle finger. Despite the years that had passed, it's something that fills me with a sicknessI can’t fathom. My own parents, two people I was proud of, who I loved, had abandoned me in my hour of need. Another reason I hated the onset of a darkening sky. Back then, I’d exhaust myself each night. I honed my skills making small ornaments, soon I progressed to bigger pieces until I was designing unique furniture and selling them from my own workshop to customers who had no affiliation with Richmond. I look around the space and my eyes rest on Beau’s present. This isn’t the first time I’ve made a wooden playhouse, but I'm putting my all into giving her the best I can offer. Knowing that in my absence, she will have a small part of me is fulfilling in a way I hadn’t realised I required.
My phone rings and Dan’s name flashes. “Hey, man,” I answer.
“I thought you were coming round?” He yawns.
“Nah, sorry, I just needed to clear my head.” I’ve blown him off almost every day this week, and he hasn’t pushed me once.
“I take it things didn’t go so well with Holly the other night?”
“Things went fine. I saw Dr Peterson.”
“That’s good. She’s still alive then?” he jokes.
“Barely. She’s a mega bitch now.” I scoff, blowing the wood clean once more.
“I take it things went better with Holly than the shrink?”
I hum and add the wood to the growing pile and pick up my jumper. The main body of the playhouse is done. I have affixed the flower boxes under the window and added the door and shutters. It’s the smaller, intricate details I need to add on.
“You could say that.” That kiss. I blow out a short breath. It was everything I never wanted it to be. Sweet. Soft. Hot. Kissing Holly was a step short of placing my lips against the sun. As a teen, I’d been shocked by my reaction to her. We’d been electric together. Now, we’d be explosive. I could feel it right down to my very bones. My skin had buzzed under the tremble of her fingertips. My spine had rippled and any traction of thought haddispersed into particles no bigger than the sawdust clinging to my damn hair.
“You’re really sure about all of this?” Dan questions.
No! But it’s what I need to give myself to recuperate from a life of self-hatred. Holly had left to fix what she thought had been broken. Now it was my turn.
“You should be celebrating. No more Cam drama.”
