AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Click.
Next message, not so calm and reasonable. "All right, I've had enough of your games. I don't know what you're trying to play, but you're messing with the wrong man. You know I won’t be made a fool of. How did you think this was going to end for you?You're just some nobody art teacher, you're nothing without me," he bit out and hung up.
I heaved out a long breath. "Boy, talking about dodging a bullet."
I can’t say I was surprised by his evolving anger with each message, but it still stung. Less than seventy-two hours ago, I was ready to pledge my life to this man. Now I’m hiding away from him and the world, hoping he will just go away.
I should've put the phone away then, but as if needing to punish myself, I opened the text messages. I knew there wouldn't be any messages from Tess because if she needed to reach me, she would call the landline—which she’s been doing faithfully every few hours, like I was one of her patients.
There were a few messages from concerned acquaintances. And one long message from Nadia, who let me know in no uncertain terms that she would share with the press in explicit detail what an awful Bridezilla I was and how difficult I've been to work with.
And then there were text messages from Marcus. The pleas, the requests for negotiation, and then the threats. The last one really stuck with me, because he told me I would regret making a fool out of him.
Despite all his threats, I wasn't scared. Marcus didn't understand he was dealing with a woman who had nothing to lose. My parents were gone. And I lost the love of my life long ago. I was all alone on my own little island, and even though it was uncomfortable, I wasn’t sure there was anything left for him to take.
That was the strange thing about this whole situation. The dust-up with Marcus was awkward and embarrassing, but it didn’t hurt the way losing Cooper did. On the one hand, it made me feel oddly invincible, but on the other, I felt anxious.
I was thirty years old, and I thought I'd be starting my life anew a few days ago, but now I felt like I had nothing.
I tried to push this overwhelming feeling to the back of my mind as I methodically went back to putting pictures up on the wall and going through the rest of my parents' things, sorting through old clothes that I could give to the homeless shelter across the island, and other things I would pack to take home. But the thought of going home made my stomach turn.
When Tess made her evening call to make sure I was okay, I relayed what was going on, and she tried to reassure me. "He's nothing but bark, Haley. Don't take him seriously. But I will tell you I am so glad you got out of that situation. You know, walking in on him nailing his aide may be the best thing that’s ever happened to you." That made me laugh, and she was right. The sound of her voice and words made me feel more stable, even if just for a little while, but as the night wore on and the darkness set, my emotions got the better of me. I needed to move and get out of this place.
I went to my room and changed into the shorts, tank top and sneakers I had picked up at one of the big box stores a couple of days before.
The beach was mostly empty—a few couples spread out, making out, but I didn't pay them any attention as I ran through the sand, enjoying the pull of it as I struggled to gain traction.
I persisted, needing the movements and all the kinetic energy to settle down, and finally, my muscles prevailed over the pull and awkward lumps and bumps of the sand, and then I was flying—content that all I could hear was the thudding of my heartbeat in my ears.
I didn't want to think or figure things out. I just wanted to move until the uneasy feeling coursing through me would dissipate.
While I enjoyed moments of peace where I didn't think and just ran, eventually, my body would adjust to the unfamiliar terrain and my mind would wander. But it wasn't Marcus's nasty voicemails or threatening text messages that consumed my thoughts. It was Cooper’s hazel eyes falling to my mouth as he tilted his head slightly and moved closer to me.
My body had responded more intensely in the few seconds leading up to our near kiss than it had over the last ten years, and I didn't know what to do with that. What kind of woman runs away from her groom only to fall into the arms of the man she left years ago?
That's what I needed to remember—I left him.
Never mind the fact that it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I thought I was doing the right thing and I knew he would never understand. I don’t think he wouldn't understand it now if he knew what really happened. So that’s what it’s come down to... all of these well-meaning decisions made in the best interest of others. Yet here I was at midnight, running my ass off, willing the anxiety and desire away.
I ran until I couldn't feel my legs anymore and then headed back to the bungalow and fell into a heap on my bed, not even bothering to undress. This would begin my unhealthy pattern of holing up during the day, and then running until I couldn't feel at night where no one would see me... at least I thought no one saw me.
Cooper
"Idon't know, man. I think that was a lot of improvement," Russell said as he floated on his board next to me.
The thing about running a tourist-based business that I haven't quite gotten used to is how to not be brutally honest.
Many clients wanted to be schmoozed and told they were improving, even when it was clear they were regressing.
I nodded. "Well, the important thing is that you show up for every session and have a good attitude—you're great at that, my friend. But we need to get you in the water to practice more. You're still kind of timid and there’s no room for fear. You have to be one with the water."
Russell looked at me skeptically. He was a transplant from the Midwest, a former executive at some corn processing plant.
"I don't know, man. I've spent most of my life away from the open water, and now I live where I'm surrounded by it. Maybeyou can show no fear, but I think it’s safer to let the water know you have a healthy fear of it."
I laughed. "I can follow your thinking, but it's going to kick your ass if you're scared of it... just like anything else in life. Come on, when you had to go into those plants to make sure people were doing their jobs, did it help you to go in there all timid?"
Russell's posture straightened at this. "No, you have to go in there, large and in charge," he said, with his Midwestern twang.
