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I hated to disappoint anybody, and later I would remember this moment and think I must have been in such shock that I didn't know what else to do.
I never used to be like this. I was decisive and trusted my instincts. But now, even small decisions were scary and potentially life-altering, and I often found myself second-guessing everything.
"Come on, Haley," he said. "You know I love you. My nerves got the better of me. That's all that you saw in there. It was purely physical. I could never feel the same way about her as I do about you," he said. "This is the most important day of our lives,and I know I fucked up, but please don't let it ruin everything. Let's be sensible about this."
Marcus was right about one thing. This was the most important day of our lives together, and it would not do to act rashly. Later, I would blame that reasoning as I nodded and turned to head back towards the bridal suite.
Nadia was there, directing everybody into position, and Tess was by my side.
The one thing I had insisted on was that she be the one to walk me down the aisle since my parents were gone. Nadia and Marcus both balked because it was against tradition, but I would not yield.
She'd been my best friend for most of my life, and I wanted her by my side on this important day. I stepped in stride next to Tess, and she looked at me with a worried expression. "Haley? What happened?"
I shook my head, "I... I don't quite know yet."
The other bridesmaids were heading out in front of me, half of which weren't even friends of mine but acquaintances of Marcus'. He appointed them to these positions because he thought it would curry favor for him later.
Nadia was busy barking orders as Tess grabbed my elbow and yanked me back. "Haley? If you don't want to do this, you don't have to, no questions asked."
Her gentle reminder made tears prick at the back of my eyes. Or maybe the reality of what I’d just seen hit me. I blinked them away, not wanting to mess up my makeup, and gave her a watery smile. "Thank you, Tess."
She looked at me seriously. "Don't forget the code word," she said, and I bit back a smile before Nadia snapped at us to face forward and start heading toward the alcove before the aisle.
Tess and I had met when we were twelve at our parents' respective vacation homes in Hanalei, Hawaii. We becameinstant friends and navigated those awkward summers as preteens and teenagers together. Anytime we got in an awkward situation or one of us wanted out because of impending embarrassment, we had a codeword. Either of us could say it, no questions asked, and the other was required to get us out of the situation. Even though it was the silliest code word we could conjure up in our twelve-year-old brains, we never changed it.
The wedding march started, and I clutched at Tess's hand. "Haley," she said in a tense whisper, "you're scaring me."
I shook my head. "Don't be silly, there's nothing to be scared of," I said as we drifted to the mouth of the aisle.
I looked down the aisle. Everybody was standing and watching me intently, smiling at the radiant bride. Little did they know I was fighting the urge to throw up.
My eyes traveled down the aisle and met Marcus', and he gave me that smile... the same smarmy smile he gave TV reporters. I'd never cared for that look, but I told myself he only did that for the camera. But now, as far as he was concerned, he was on camera, and I would only get the camera-ready version of him. No love for me or excitement over what we were about to do, no remorse for what he’d done, no acknowledgment of it at all, in fact.
I looked over at Tess, panicking, and whispered the too-long ago, pinky-promised code word to her. "Dick weasel."
She looked over at me with wide eyes. "Really?" Then she looked at the crowd, smiling.
"Yes, really. Dick weasel! Dick weasel!" I said, my voice rising.
The guests murmured quietly to one another, looking confused, and Marcus gave me a questioning look as Tess said in my ear. "Shit, Haley, I don't know how to get us out of here," before she sucked in a deep breath and said, "Fuck it! Let's run!"
Tess and I looked at each other, and then I hiked my skirt over my elbow. She grabbed my hand, and we ran out of there as fast as possible.
I registered the murmurs rising to a crescendo with the guests, the shrill voice of Nadia behind me asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. But at no time did I ever hear Marcus call for me.
We ran straight out of that church and into the waiting limo that was supposed to be whisking Marcus and me away after the ceremony to drop us off at The Lane, where we would have the reception.
Instead, the driver looked confused at me and Tess, who was still panting. "Where to, ladies?"
I looked over at Tess with raised eyebrows. "Umm..."
She shrugged, and I blurted out, "Driver, get us to the airport as quickly as you can."
That's how I ended up in the airport ticket line in a poofy wedding dress with my best friend by my side, making plans on the fly. "I'll get you some clothes at the duty-free shop. What are you going to do with this monstrosity?"
"I don't know... hock it," I added bitterly.
Tess shook her head. "I wish there was time for you to tell me what happened, but you have to promise to fill me in as soon as you land. In the meantime, after I see you off here, I'm going straight to your apartment to start packing up your things. I'll send as much as I can to Hanalei."
