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Recently things have been so strained between us that I’m not sure what to do to have it go back to normal. After the way he looked at me tonight I’m not sure I want them to.
Throughout the night I caught his glances and every time our eyes met I felt it all the way to my toes. At one point his look seemed somehow to convey determination, certainty, and a possessiveness that made my knees go weak. I’m not sure I’ve ever had anyone look at me like that before, but I know for a fact Mason never has.
I could’ve sworn that a swarm of butterflies was trapped in my stomach all trying to break free at once, their wings fluttering in time to the erratic beat of my heart. Engulfed in a room full of people, I was surprised nobody else could hear the pounding.
But then everyone else seemed to fade away until it was just Mason and I. I broke eye contact immediately, gave myself a mental shake, and brought myself back to the conversation going on around me.
From that point on, anytime our eyes met, I firmly reminded myself that Mason is and will only ever be a friend. He was only checking in because he was acting like an overprotective big brother.
There is nothing behind any of the glances, smirks, smiles, glares. Nothing.
This is Mason. Yeah we’ve had some moments where I thought there might be feelings on his side. A surprising amount of people are mentioning to me that maybe I’m wrong and there is something between us…
Stop Em, there’s nothing there. You heard him say it. We are just friends.
Time to get changed into my comfy clothes, get a hot cup of tea and then snuggle in with my current read. An escape into theworld of Emma and Lane would be wonderful. What can I say, I am a sucker for the “brother’s best friend trope”. I wonder why?
I’m pouring hot water into a mug for my lavender tea when I hear a knock on my door. My heart skips a beat as I find myself irrationally hoping that it’s Mason. As I’m shaking my head at my wayward mind, I drag my slippered feet over to the door and open it. My jaw drops.
It’s Julia. Of course she looks amazing. I can’t help but notice the stark contrast of me in my joggers and long sleeved t-shirt and her in her brand name clothes. Where she is elegant and perfect, I am flawed and frumpy. What was I ever thinking that I could compete with women like this. I am not even remotely close to anything of this type of glamor.
What the heck is Julia doing on my doorstep? When did she get back into town? Why is she here? Did Mason invite her?
“Hello. I’m asking you a question.” She’s never once dropped that arrogant tone with me.
Her voice brings me back to the present. “I’m sorry, Julia. I didn’t hear you.”
“I asked who you are, and why are you going with Mason to all of these events?”
I roll my eyes. Julia knows exactly who I am. She’s met me multiple times. This is so her and just one of the many reasons I’ve never liked her.
“Julia? What are you doing here?” Mason asks as he’s walking toward my front door.
I look at his face and I can see the shock on it.
“Mason!” Julia squeals as she turns to him and throws her arms around his neck so forcefully that I see his body move from the weight of catching her. “I’ve been looking for you. I need to talk with you.”
“You’re at the wrong house. I live next door. What are you doing at Emily’s?” Mason glances at me and those butterflies start to flutter. I can see the genuine confusion in his eyes but I try to keep my expression neutral. Any hope that was still lingering is slowly dying.
This is the type of girl Mason should be with. What was I ever thinking that he could possibly want me?
“I’m going to go inside and let the two of you talk,” I try to make my voice sound calm and relaxed when inside all I want to do is scream. “If you would kindly bring this to your front porch, Mason, I’d appreciate it.”
I can feel the tears burning at the back of my eyes. My heart is shattering into a million pieces. Worried that the two of them will see what’s happening I turn and start to close the door as I mumble. “I will see you at brunch in a couple days, Mason. You both have a good night.”
Before I can fully close the door I hear Mason say my name.
“Em?—”
I meet his eyes. There is a question in them and what seems like a slew of unspoken words. A tiny flicker of hope comes to life in my chest and then Julia interrupts and Mason stops talking.
“Mason. Mason!” She says his name forcefully to get his attention. “I need to talk to you. We,” she puts an emphasis on the word ‘we’, “need to talk. Please?” Though there is a question mark at the end of the sentence there is no way that anyone listening could mistake the demand in her tone.
Seriously, Mason? Julia is the worst type of woman. How could you ever have fallen for that? Men and beautiful women.
“Good night,” I say as I close the door. Leaving the perfect couple on my porch. I definitely don’t want to be a witness to whatever conversation they are about to have.
I numbly walk over to my tea and pick it up from the counter. I head to the couch, grab a blanket and put it on my lap. Holding the cup between both hands I feel a tear run down my face. I wipe it away and give myself a mental pep talk.
