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“Emily!” Leah yells. “What did Adam say?”
“Sorry. He was great.” Which is true. “And he said that my reasons for not continuing to see him made perfect sense. Especially knowing how much I love Cottage Grove.”
“So that’s what he said, huh?”
“Yes.” I stubbornly keep to what I just said knowing she doesn’t believe that’s the full story at all. Leah knows me too well. I stick my tongue out at the phone not caring that she can’t see me. I know it’s childish, but at the moment my emotional bandwidth is that of a five year old. I’m done adulting for the moment.
“Don’t you stick your tongue out at me!” My eyes widen and I stare at the phone as she lets out a laugh. “Of course I can’t see you, but you do that to Jack all the time when you’re annoyed with him.”
“Sometimes I really hate that you know me so well.”
“No you don’t,” she says gently.
“No. I don’t.” I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
“Call me when you make it to the lake house so that I know you got there safe.” I feel warmth run through my chest knowing that I’m loved so much by this woman I get to call my best friend.
“Yes, mom.” I hear her chuckle.
“And Em,” she says quietly. “You’re going to be okay.”
“Thanks, Leah. I’ll call you when I get to the lake house.”
I hang up the phone and drive in silence for a bit, taking in everything that’s happened in the last few hours and the roller coaster ride that it’s been.
The dream that I’ve had since I was thirteen, when I first realized that my older brother’s best friend was the boy I adored, happened. Mason told me he loved me. Almost immediately after, my biggest fear came true, and he picked someone else over me.
I have so many voices in my head. All of them tell me the same thing—that Mason is in love with me. Which Mason confirmed and yet, I know what I saw.
My heart hurts so much I can’t rationalize anything. I can only feel pain. Tightness in my chest, the lump in my throat and tears sitting at the back of my eyes threatening to push forward are ruling everything. It’s why I need time to be alone. I can’t function like this.
Suddenly Jack pops into my head. I know that if he stops by the store or my house and I’m not home he’ll worry. I pick up the phone to call him and see Mason’s name on my screen. Once again I hit the decline button.
"Mason please, just give me some space,” I beg him even though he can’t hear me.
I quickly call Jack. I know he’s working a shift at the station so it’s no surprise when I get voicemail.
“Hey Jack, it’s me. I just wanted to let you know that I’m alive and headed up to the lake house for a few days. Do me a favor and don’t tell Mason where I am, okay? I appreciate it. And don’t call asking any questions. I’m not ready to talk yet. I just need some time to clear my head and think. I’ll see you when I get home.”
I hang up, and turn off my phone, but not before I see Mason has called repeatedly and left five voicemails.
Chapter Eighteen
Mason
Emily isn’t taking mycalls, and I’m pretty sure she hasn’t listened to any of the messages I left. If she had, she’d pick up, right? She can avoid me all she wants when it comes to the phone but being her next door neighbor has its perks. I will just sit on her porch until she takes pity on me.
As I pull up to her house I don’t see her car in the driveway. My heart stutters and I feel nauseous. I’m not used to Emily avoiding me. Actually, that’s not true. She has avoided me in the past.
Anytime we started to get close and my feelings came more to the surface she would pull away. I hated it but it was exactly what was needed to keep us in the friend zone. If I’m honest I did the same.
When she would pull away though, she was never gone, just not as accessible. I didn’t think much of it at the time because she’s always at least communicated in some way. This time with her leaving she is shutting me out completely.
The difference between then Mason and now Mason is that there are no obstacles standing in my way. Not Jack, not my fears, not my immaturity, nothing.
I’m not good at waiting on anything to happen to me. It’s a big reason why I was able to become a professional football player and able to rehab my knee so quickly. That not waiting personality trait is a great thing when you’re in control… Now, when it’s out of my hands, it feels like a debilitating flaw.
I’m still in my suit pacing around the house. Waiting. I just called Emily, again, and left another voicemail. I run my hand through my hair as I try to figure out what to do next.
