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She pulls a face. “Most people don’t get spring breaks, you know. I certainly don’t, at least.”
That again. She isn’t most people, contrary to what she may think. I want to ask her why she never followed through with that scholarship. It was a full ride and everything, and she’d worked so fucking hard for it. I was there when she opened her acceptance letter with Olivia, and I’d never seen them scream with excitement like that before. Then out of the blue, she said she was going to defer the offer to take a gap year, and got a job after graduation instead.
“Well, I’m glad you’re keeping Olivia company,” I say, distracted as she leans across the wide counter to plug in the coffee grinder for me.
Her full breasts strain against the fabric of her bra, printing against her shirt lushly. The hem of the shirt rides up a little, revealing just enough skin at her little waist to make my head swim. My fingers curl around the cannister in my hands to keep themselves from reaching for her.
This is too much.She’stoo much.
“Honestly, she’s keepingmecompany, not the other way around,” Felicia says as she straightens back up. “Olivia had like six offers to join people on trips but she stayed here instead because she thinks it’s more relaxing. I think she’s being ridiculous but …”
Our eyes meet as I scoop out coffee beans to grind and she shrugs at me.
I can’t do it, I can’t avoid it any longer. “Why did you give up the scholarship, Felicia? You should be on your break now too. You could have gone to those parties together.”
I have to admit, the idea that they’d be at some wild college party together makes my blood boil. My daughter in the arms of some handsy asshole? Felicia in the arms of some tiny twirp? While the anger on behalf of each of them is different, I can’t help it in either case. It all makes me want to put a dent in the stainless steel front of my fucking fridge.
But still. She’s young. She should be out there being young and doing foolish things while she still can, not working however many hours it is that she does at that grocery market she works at.
Felicia bites her lip and shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. “It’s personal. The experience is still valuable, you know? And the admissions department said I could defer the scholarship for a few years, so it’s not like I can’t still go in the future.”
“What happened to pursuing library science? I thought you wanted to get a literature degree and then pursue a masters.”
The noise she makes is too hollow to be a laugh. “In retrospect, that doesn’t feel really practical, does it?”
“Librarians are nothing but practical. And you seemed so passionate about it—”
“Real life doesn’t give a shit what I’m passionate about,” she snaps.
“Felicia …” I’ve never heard her speak like this. I’m not sure what to say or do as she registers what she just said. She shakes her head and steps back, her chest heaving. When I meet her eyes, I see that she’s got tears beginning to gather at her lashes.
Something dark and strange kindles within me.
I want to pull her into my arms and wipe the tears away. Tell her that she shouldn’t have to work so hard, whatever her reasons are. Soothe the anger and hurt on her face, show her what it would be like to be loved like she deserves.
If only I could spirit her away and do just that.
She’s often gone on short trips with Olivia and I. Nothing longer than a week usually, because of their school schedules and the needs of my company. While she always seemed to enjoy them, Felicia would start getting antsy to return home after a few days. I never knew why, but now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s the same thing that’s keeping her from pursuing her dreams.
“Felicia,” my daughter suddenly calls. She’s standing in the hallway entrance, scrolling on her phone. “Stop helping my dad make coffee and come pick a movie for me to buy us tickets to.”
The longing look that Felicia gives me as she starts walking back to her friend sets my blood on fire.
No longer does she seem to be pining for me like she did when she was younger. The heat in her eyes is real and stronger than ever.
I remind myself as I watch them disappear back into my daughter’s room that nothing can ever come of me pursuing her like I want to. Even if her situation, as mysterious as it is to me still, fills me with rage, I can’t do anything about it. She has too much life ahead of her to get wrapped up in some torrid love affair with a man over twice her age.
She’s far too precious for me to rob her of her innocence like that.
Chapter 2
Felicia
After spending my afternoon with Olivia, I head back home to rest up before my opening shift. She’d invited me to come to a party at some art gallery with her this evening, but I just can’t risk missing my alarms by staying out late.
Thankfully, I ate while I was out, because I know for a fact that there’s nothing in the fridge. I make a mental note to pick up some basics for my father and I after work, because I know he won’t.
My mind flits to Brock, wondering what it must be like to be taken care of him.
