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“What are you thinking about?” Diego says as he comes to join me on the balcony.
I thought being out of the hospital would make him feel more relaxed, but if anything, it feels as if he’s even more uptight than before.
“I was thinking if you came out here to fluff one of my pillows …”
“Then you would use one of them to kill me in my sleep, I get the picture. You told me and I’ve listened.”
He nods his head and lifts up his hands as if he’s surrendering to my wish.
“I didn’t come to fluff pillows but to ask how strong you’re feeling at the moment.”
Then he leans forward and places a phone box on the table in front of me. An iPhone 15, to be precise, and it’s weird because a few days ago before we came back home, I kept thinking about having a phone again.
I know I can’t lie, there’s no way I can hide from my family what’s been going on with me lately, and I don’t want to lie to them. My eyes glance on it and then I meet his stare.
“What do you mean by strong?”
“Well, the doctor said this morning that if you want then we can leave Tokyo tomorrow.”
I jump out of my chair with all my strength and into his arms. Something I would have done before the incident. We’ve been living like two roommates since then. He treats me like a child, and the only time he does touch me is to kiss me on the forehead or hold my hand. There’s nothing sexual between us. It makes me worry that he doesn’t look at me in the same light anymore. Or maybe he worries that if he tries anything then I will break.
It’s as if memories of the time he took me to Kabuki-za theater flash through my mind.
“I would like to go out before we leave, like when we went to the theater.”
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him as he sits down. The first time we’ve been affectionate to each other, giving me a glimpse of hope that the attraction between us hasn’t completely died and he still feels something for me.
“Good. I want us to go back home with a fresh start.”
His phone chimes, and I start to get up from his lap, but then he pulls me down.
“One minute. Let me see who it is.”
He looks at the message, and the curious side of me takes a peek too.
“Who was it?”
It’s as if he goes into a trance as I say it, and he reads it over again or he just keeps staring at it. He takes in a deep breath and then puts his phone on the table.
He smiles at me, as he cups my face.
“It’s a message from my associate to say that Hiroshi is dead and all his associates too. We are free to go home.”
“What do you mean free?”
“Well, I knew it was happening today, I was worried they would try something again. I wanted you to be completely safe and to not worry about a thing.”
I nod my head in agreement. “The idea of him being out there did put me off going out tonight just a little bit, but knowing he’s dead and cannot hurt me does make me feel that much better.”
He seems surprised by my response. I play with my finger, the one which used to have my wedding ring on it, but between taking it off that night and putting it in my purse, then being in the hospital, it’s no longer there. I wonder if he has even noticed.
“Good to whoever took him out. He deserved it,” I say.
We stare at each other and then I realize the words that left my mouth. I just told Diego it was cool if he killed Hiroshi. He doesn’t deny it, but it’s clear by him giving me a kiss on the forehead that he had something if not everything to do with his death.
“You better get dressed, and I need to make a phone call.”
A lump forms in my throat. It’s as if I love the idea of him being the one to protect and seek vengeance for what happened, but taking another life isn’t right. Even if the life wasn’t worth the time of day.
