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I kissed the top of her head. "I love you more."
A thick lump sat in my throat and it took me a moment to realize that I was trying my hardest to keep my tears at bay. I had never cried, not even as an infant. This small little creature holding on to me was bringing me to my knees and I doubted she had any idea what she was doing to me.
"This procedure might save your life," I said into her hair, resting my chin on top of her head to prevent her from looking up, to stop her from seeing the anguish that I was sure she would find written all over my face.
"It might kill me too," she said quietly before she added even quieter, "or maim me even worse."
"You are not maimed," I reminded her.
Her wry smile told me that she thought otherwise and I reiterated, "You are beautiful. I love you more than anything in the universe and always will, no matter what or how you look like."
"I love you too."
"You are scared, and understandably so"—I squeezed her hand—"but I need you to be brave now so we can live many, many happy years together."
She pulled in her lower lip and gnawed on it, and I didn't dare to breathe. What if she refused to do to the procedure, would I force her? Nocc, I decided with a heavy heart, I might have to live with the regrets of not doing so for the rest of my life—alone, without her—but I could never force her to do anything she wasn't willing to do. This was her life, her body, her decision.
The ticks stretched on. My lungs were about to burst, and still I didn't dare breathe, worried I might hasten a decision.
"You will look out for the humans, won't you?" she finally asked in a quavering voice.
"Always," I pressed out, still holding my breath.
"Let's do it then," she said, and only then did I dare to carefully exhale and inhale—not to let on I had stopped breathing there for a moment.
I couldn't help but pull her close to me, aware of how much stronger than her I was and not wanting to hurt her, but suddenly it didn't seem enough. She looked up at me and I claimed her lips with all the desperation I felt, and by the way she clung to me and responded, she showed just how desperate she was too.
Wecalled the medtechsback in, who were joined by the two human doctors they had mentioned, and together they laid out their plan, to which I only listened with half an ear.
My heart pounded erratically and this might have been a figment of my imagination, but already I felt as if I wasn't getting enough oxygen. I forced myself to take slow, deep breaths to keep the panic at bay, but it was there, lingering right underneath my skin, hovering around my heart and brain, waiting for an opening to pounce and make a fool of myself.
Death, I mused, how often had I come close to it during the past couple of months? More often than during the last twenty-six years of my life, that was for sure.
Then again, never had my life been more fulfilled than in the past few months either and in all honesty, I wouldn't have changed it. Given a choice of living my boring but healthy life on Earth the way it had been, and being here, with Garth, experiencing what I was truly capable of, I would always choose this, even if it meant cutting my life short.
"We will cool your body temperature, so it won't need as much oxygen during the procedure," Caceax Adrtet explained and his three colleagues nodded in unison. "All in all, you should be done within ten clicks."
Ten minutes.
The thought of my brain being without oxygen for even a minute scared me and I felt the fluttering of the wings of panic, ready to spread them and soar. I took a hitching breath and managed to keep it at bay.
They set the procedure for the next morning and Garth and I stayed aboard theVyper. I wanted to get my affairs in order, give last minute instructions to how I wanted the human settlements to be finished, but Garth took the tablet from me.
"This is our time, mekarry, just you and me."
I smiled, "Isn't that a bit selfish?"
"A lot," he agreed. "But the day after tomorrow, you will be back in full force and order those humans of yours around. Tonight is just for us."
I liked that idea. Liked it a lot.
His hands moved up and down my arms before he crushed me against his chest. I lifted my head expectantly and wasn't disappointed as his lips were instantly on mine.
Like magic, the moment our lips met and our tongues began the mating dance, I forgot everything but him. Every cell in my body hummed and I rose on my tiptoes, slung my arms around his neck to get even closer to him.
With a moan, his hands cupped my ass, squeezed it, and pushed it into him so I could feel his hard erection.
Effortlessly, his hands on my ass lifted my feet off the ground and he walked us to the bed, only letting me down once we reached it. His hands reached down, gathered the material of my dress into his hands and began gathering it up before he pulled it over my head. Next, he took off my bra and brushed his fingers over the swell of my now-exposed breasts. A tingle moved through me and I inhaled sharply.
