AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But the thought of not seeing Mackenzie every night before bed and every morning when she wakes up….
It’s too much. I can’t take full breaths just thinking about not residing beneath the same roof as she does. Not breathing the same air she breathes.
Maybe I’m obsessed with her. Maybe what we share is something Dr. Lawson and others would label as harmful and codependent.
But I disagree. Because I’d do anything to make her life better, easier. I sacrifice my wants and needs for hers. And I know she’d do the same. She’s already demonstrated that.
Isn’t that what true, lasting love is all about?
Dr. Lawson’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “How is Mackenzie doing?”
Sadness and frustration fill me. The girls in school have been giving her a rough time, as have a few of her teachers. Her mom drives her crazy, grilling her the past two nights asking why she isn’t hanging with her friends. And Mackenzie has flat out told me she doesn’t think her therapist can help her. She said she can’t connect with her enough to confess much of anything, and her therapist has admitted she’s never counseled anyone who has been held captive before.
My worries spill from my lips, confessing those things to Dr. Lawson before I’ve had a chance to think about whether I should or not. He nods thoughtfully, crossing one leg over his knee.
“I happen to be married to a therapist who has a lot of experience dealing with cult victims. Both those who were held captive and escaped, which admittedly, there are fewer of.” Sadness blankets his face before he shakes his head like he’s pushing his thoughts away. “I was going to ask if you’d like to speak with her. But I’d like to extend that offer to Mackenzie as well.”
Hope flares inside my chest. “This may be inappropriate, but could you contact Mackenzie’s therapist? I can text Kenz… I think she’d really like that.”
67
MACKENZIE
Exhaling a breath, the ticking of the clock is the only noise in the room as Dr. Wilkinson and I stare at one another. Pinching my lips together to prevent the sigh from escaping me, my stomach hardens from the frustration filling me. I don’t think she’s helped me make any progress at all.
My gaze flits to the framed degrees hanging on her wall.A lot of good those are doing me.
Uncrossing my legs, I tug at the hem of my sweater before shifting my weight and crossing my legs again.
“I’ve been keeping a journal, like you asked.” I blurt out, the silence grating on my last nerve and making me feel I’m going to explode if one of us doesn’t say something. “I’ve been writing down what happened. How I felt about it. The things happening in school.”
She nods, her pen poised over her notepad. “How’s school going?”
It’s hell.Not in the same way that being held captive by a cult was, but a different kind of torture. One in which I have no friends except Chase. They either ignore me, if I’m lucky, or sling random insults that make me cry. “It sucks.” My bottom lip trembles and I quickly look out the window, slowly counting to five, trying not to cry.
“Are your friends not being supportive?”
I snort. “Friends. What friends? They’ve abandoned me.” I slowly turn my head to hers, expecting to see judgment lining her face. I’m surprised to find sympathy instead.
“I’m sorry, Mackenzie. That must be very difficult. And lonely.”
Biting my quivering lip, my eyes flit to her framed degrees on the wall, chantingDon’t cry. Don’t cry.The lump in my throat prevents me from saying a word.
While I love Chase and am so glad I have him, it’s the time apart that kills me. It’s lonely not having anyone to talk to. It’s worse when my former friends make comments about Chase and me having an “incestuous affair.” But it’s even worse when they outright fabricate untrue shit about me that had me vomiting in the toilet mere hours ago. Jessie started a rumor that I’d been following the cult online because I secretly wanted to join their world and enjoyed the horrific things they did to me.
If the images of Orpheus raping me hadn’t filled my head, I would have punched Jessie in the face.
Hell, I had no idea Orpheus was using social media to recruit people into his vile, twisted world until I saw a group of students watching videos on their laptops during lunch. Chase was in line, grabbing dessert, and I nearly fell out of my chair when the student loudly said, “Look. It’s Mackenzie’s ex-boyfriend. Here’s how he recruited her.” I was shocked and appalled to see Orpheus’s devil-masked face on a student’s laptop screen.
Dr. Wilkson’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Mackenzie. Are you okay?”
I shake my head, unable to say a word. My stomach twists into knots as I roll the hem of my sweater between trembling fingers.She can’t help me. Maybe no one can.
Maybe I’ll be this disastrous, friendless mess for the rest of my life.
My chest caves in, and although I close my eyes, the tears prickle my lids. My heart aches, and the thickness in my throat indicates that the second I open my eyes, my tears will fall like rain.
Why did Jamie turn on me like this?I know I haven’t been overly responsive since I returned home, but her texts threw me for a loop. She didn’t ask how I was doing. The very first text she sent me said, “Hey. Now that you’re back, do you wanna go to a party this weekend?” I stared at it with raised brows, feeling as though she punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind from my lungs. I responded back. “Not really feeling up to it. Maybe another time.”
