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My gaze moves to Mike. Hunching over slightly, I choke down a sob. My eyes water and I blink rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. There will be plenty of time to cry later.
My lungs constrict, making it hard to breathe as I picture Mackenzie’s face. My heartbeat seems to momentarily stop as I think about the bleakness ahead. I looked forward to replacing my awful memories of Christmas past with new ones made with her. Happy ones, instead of misery and sorrow.
But I should know better. My life never turns out the way I want it. No matter how hard I try to do the right thing and be a good person, every time I fuck up, I’m punished for it. And this time, it’s the worst punishment I could imagine.Losing her.
It feels like time has stopped as I open my mouth and rasp out the words I don’t want to say. “I know what I must do, Mike. I can’t take Mackenzie away from her family at Christmas. It’s not fair to her or any of you.” Swallowing hard, my head hangs. I can’t meet his eyes as I whisper, “I’ll stay away from her.”
Mike’s palm clasps my shoulder. I raise my head, meeting his teary gaze. “I’m so fucking sorry, Chase.”
I nod, unable to say a word.
There’s a knock on the door before it opens. Officer Mack steps inside. “It’s time we take you to your cell, Chase.”
I slowly push to my feet, all the fight drained from my body. I don’t argue or protest, my legs heavy and wooden as I approach him.
“Chase.” I follow the sound of his voice, meeting Brett’s eyes.
Shrugging, my voice is hollow and defeated. “Whether I’m in here one day or a month, it doesn’t matter.”
Then I look away from him. “Take me to my cell,” I say to Officer Mack.
I bite my lip as I’m led from the room, trying not to sob.
I’ve lost everything.
79
CHASE
Stepping outside of the jail for the first time in twenty-four hours, the cold air swirls around me, the biting wind blows the strands of hair from my forehead. I barely feel it because I’m so fucking numb. I’m like a zombie from lack of sleep and the abject misery that hangs over me like a black cloud. My feet move across the pavement on autopilot, walking between Jeff and Brett, heading to Jeff’s vehicle.
My eyes meet Mike’s as he stands in the parking lot, his hands shoved in the pockets of his trousers. I nod at him, silently communicating my thanks to him yet again for bailing me out. Although right now, I could care less where I am. Twenty-four hours without Mackenzie has been fucking agony. It’s only going to get worse the longer I’m without her.
I glance over my shoulder at the jail. It may be better for me to be locked up because I don’t know how the fuck I can stay away from Mackenzie, even though I told Mike I would.
Sucking in a breath, I turn my head away, staring with unseeing eyes at Jeff’s vehicle. Squaring my shoulders, I know I have a long road ahead of me.Do the right thing, Chase. Forher.
When we reach Jeff’s truck, Brett stops, his hand squeezing my shoulder. “I’ll see you back at the house.” Our eyes lock and hold, but I’m emotionless right now. Apathetic to everything around me.
Everything is as bleak as the gray skies above because I won’t be with Mackenzie.
“I know things seem hopeless right now, but I’m confident everything will work out. You and Mackenzie remind me of my wife, Victoria, and me when we were young. Nothing could keep us apart.”
I raise my brows, saying nothing.
He smiles, shaking his head. “Tori’s parents hated me. They thought I was a poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks. While her family wasn’t rich, they lived a comfortable lifestyle. They told me I’d never be able to provide for her, eying my clothing and appearance with disdain.”
I stare at him, incredulous. He’s so clean cut, I can’t imagine his wife’s parents thinking those things about him.
Brett laughs. “I clean up well.” Glancing at Jeff, who stands beside me with his arms crossed over his chest, Brett nods in his direction. “He hasn’t told you about my tattoos. Suits can hide a lot.”
I shake my head, the barest hint of a smile tugging at my lips. “So what happened? How did the two of you end up together?”
Brett smiled. “I proved them wrong.”
Standing in front of Jeff’s truck, I contemplate Brett’s words.
Brett claps me on the back. “All I can say is where there’s a will, there’s a way. How determined are you to be with her?”
