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And I’m not going to waste another second.
Chapter Five
Amelia
I don’t know what’s going through Joshua’s mind right now but he is absolutely driving me crazy. I had no problem with him touching me the way that he did but I didn’t understand WHY he did it. I know he doesn’t have feelings for me so was he just teasing me or does he actually want to be my sex buddy? Is that what I want? I don’t even know what to do at this point because everything is driving me crazy and I keep telling myself that I need to make the right decision and fast.
Which one will I regret the least?
I don’t know how to feel about this entire situation because I don’t know if he is just playing me. I don’t know why he would do that when he could literally have any girl that he could ever want. Why does he get off on making me get my hopes up and keep thinking that we might be able to be more than what we are? I can’t even look at him right now because all I can picture are his lips that were glistening with my juices and how he looked at me like a primal beast when he had licked his finger off. It’s like he was tasting the best thing in the world he has ever tasted.
It made me ache for more and I could barely concentrate the entire time at the primere of my movie, just lost in my own thoughts. I hope that nobody really noticed it because that would have been really embarrassing but I just had to keep telling myself that this is all for the greater good. I should just continue to keep him at a distance because if I don’t, I do have this bad feeling that he is just going to weasel his way into my heart and then, I would be left with nothing.
I know it might sound a little unreasonable and even I can agree with that. I just know what’s going through my mind right now and it’s not an easy solution. If Adam were to find out what had happened between us, he would flip his shit. He wouldn’t even ask for an explanation because Joshua would already be dead. It’s just how it was.
I hated even thinking that was as well because I had this bad feeling that I would learn the wrong way. I know it might sound a bit unreasonable and whatnot, but something inside of me screamed for release. I don’t know what it could be at this point but I do know I might end up regretting it if I allowed something else to happen.
I guess only time is going to be able to tell for me but I do know that I’m going to just have to take it one step at a time. I see Joshua standing guard not too far away, his arms folded across his chest. He is a big, handsome man, enough to make me nervous no matter where I went with it. I kept telling myself that maybe I needed to keep more distance between us but then I saw these girls practically wagging their tails at him like he is going to be their everything. That pissed me off more than I would even like to admit because there’s no reason that they should even be looking at him.
He's mine…
I am immediately startled by my dark thoughts, my eyes widening slightly because I couldn’t believe that I could thinksomething so irrational. I know what’s going through their heads because he is the ideal man and I can’t even blame them for wanting him as well. It’s not like I have staked claim on him since we’re not in a relationship but I would love to be. I long to be. I need more. I don’t know what I’m going to do if he just… Did this for fun.
“So, Amelia.” My co-star, Elliot, murmurs as he practically pops up right next to me, “I see that you have a handsome tiger shifter at your beck and call. I honestly didn’t think that you were interested in anybody so where is this coming from? Did you have a sudden change of heart or whatever?”
I glare at him because I definitely don’t need to be listening to this right now, “I don’t really see why it matters. We didn’t work out and even though we didn’t make it public, I don’t see what right you have butting your nose into my business.”
His eyes glimmer at my defiance, his lips curling ever so slightly, “I understand your frustration, I really do, Amelia. You can get feisty with me all you want but you and I both know that he’s not going to be anything more than a fuck buddy. It doesn’t matter how much you have longed for him. It’s just better to put it aside and not even try to think that way.”
“And how do you know what I think about?” I question him, seeing how our relationship didn’t last very long because I didn’t like his cocky attitude, “you know, I MIGHT have liked you a little bit more if you had actually been a decent human being but you have proven to me time and time again that you can’t even do that. I tried with you, I tried to be the woman that could love you, but I just knew we were never going anywhere. Not by how you treated me.”
He rolls his eyes at my words because he obviously doesn’t think he did anything wrong, “I don’t see what you mean by that, Amelia. We were good together until I realized you were piningafter someone who wasn’t me. He’s not even in our social status so nobody is going to accept him. Looks aren’t everything.”
“it’s a good thing I don’t care about pleasing anyone.” I disagree with him, fighting the urge to roll my eyes at this point, “I think you might as well move on with your life, Elliot, and leave me out of your drama because I don’t have time to be dealing with it anymore. You do understand that, right?”
His eyes narrow even more so, glaring at me, “I don’t know why you have to be such a bitch, Amelia, it’s going to get you killed.”
A shiver goes down my spine because something does not feel right about what he just said. I don’t even care that he threatened me at this point, it is irrelevant. I don’t know what’s going through his right mind at this point to think that he is going to get away with threatening me like that. He’s kind of lucky that Joshua didn’t hear him because he would have been dead meat by now. I would have loved every second of it as well, kind of wishing that things could have been different.
“Elliot, I think you just need to walk away and visit some of our gracious people because you’re honestly getting on my everlasting nerve.” I tell him calmly, never going to show him that he has an effect on me, “if I were you, I would watch what you say because my bodyguard over there doesn’t take too kindly to threats. You might end up on the short end of the stick.”
I watched his cheeks redden a little bit and I kind of thought that he would try and fight me on the situation. Much to my delighted surprise, he turns on his heel and storms away from me like his life depended on it. It probably did at this point because I have no idea what could possibly be going through his head to think anything that is happening right now is alright but I know there’s no way I’ll be able to fight him on it. I’m going to be lucky if he even gives me the time of day.
I look over and I see that Joshua is watching me now. I don’t recognize the look on his face but something is telling me that something is wrong. I can’t quite place my finger on it but I have this bad feeling if I’m not careful, I’ll be on the short end of the stick as well. I offer him a soft smile, kind of wondering what he would do, and he just looks away from me like it never even happened. It’s like a punch to the gut but I bite my tongue and hold it all in.
Yes, this is for the best. I really can’t get my hopes up…
But why do I honestly feel like I’m dying inside if he doesn’t look my way?
Chapter Six
Joshua
Something is off about her co-star, Elliot.
I could see the way he was looking at her and how he would glance over at me. It’s obvious to me now that they did have some sort of relationship going on or used to. It’s like he was seeing me as a threat even though there is no way that I would even be able to compare. I’d like to think that I am some sort of catch but I will unfortunately know sooner rather than later that it would just end up getting me hurt. I shouldn’t have even feasted on her sweet, tender flesh because that was the worst thing that I could have done possible.
Now, all I can do is STILL taste her on my tongue and crave more of her. I know it might be a bit wrong considering all of the facts but I just know that I can’t be doing this for much longer. If I keep getting it into my mind that we’re going to be more than what we are now, I’m going to end up getting my heart broken. I don’t want to even think that way because I would end up getting seriously hurt and then I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
