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Bateia! She is in danger! Immediately, I pressed my feet into the stallion's flanks and steered him toward our camp. I galloped through the steppe, always keeping sight of my goal. The first dwellings already burned, and the screams of my sisters were to be heard up to here.
Once again, I spurred Terek on. We had to hurry. Behind me, more hooves suddenly thundered across the steppe. A glance back confirmed my fear. The enemy was riding after me, also toward our almost unguarded settlement. An arrow whizzed close to my ear. Without hesitation, I also grabbed my bow and arrow. Then, I turned to my enemies and shot one arrow after another in their direction. They had not expected I would shoot backward galloping on a horse because this technique was mastered only by us Amazons, who were taught from an early age how to handle their animal companions and weapons.
Each shot found its target,and the attackers from the first row slumped down dead. However, those following had already recovered from this surprising attack and were now firing arrows in my direction. Painfully, one of them drilled into my thigh.
I grimaced as a rhythmic pounding caught my attention, and a scream escaped my throat. A question was on my lips: Would we survive this day?
CHAPTER 2
2153 AD
I awoke in my bed,panting. Hoping to escape the nightmare, I opened my eyes and sat up in panic. The sweat made my nightgown stick to my body. It was almost as if I had just been in the scorching heat of the steppe. What had I been dreaming about? About an Amazon who bore my name? It had been a dream, but still, it had felt so real that the stench of the blood that soaked the field still hung in my nose.
Stealthily, I rubbed my thigh, the flesh of which had been pierced by an arrow moments ago. The pain was on my tongue, like words that had been lost.
I ran both hands over my wet face.It was only a dream. Nothing more, I whispered to myself in a daze. But then, why couldn't I shake off the images or the trembling? It had been like that many nights before. Sometimes, the memory of the dream vanished the moment I opened my eyes. However, in some moments, it was just as alive as now. I always embodied another woman; my dreams led me into other environmentsand historical epochs, and nevertheless, I always remained who experienced all this.
Next to me, Alex stirred. Pausing in my movement, I looked at his sleeping silhouette in the semi-darkness of the room. Hopefully, he wouldn't wake up. These nights of sneaking in and out early in the morning were exhausting enough for him. I couldn't have him waking up for a nightmare, too. Fortunately, it wasn't long before we married and no longer had to hide our nights together.
As soon as I was sure Alex hadn't woken up, I carefully pushed the blanket aside and walked barefoot across the parquet toward the bathroom. A shower was now just the thing to forget the horror.
After closing the door behind me, I flicked on the light. In the shower, I turned on the hot water and turned to the mirror, which took up an entire wall. Looking back at me from it were the same green eyes the Amazon had. The ones they all had. My green eyes. Green like the meadows in Central Park in the spring, like the hills of Ireland. The hills I hadn't been able to get out of my head since our childhood vacation. These warrior women were so different from me. Strong, confident, and self-possessed. They took what they wanted to have. Whether it was fate shaping them in their favor or the men they had fun with. Their body belonged exclusively to themselves, and they decided what had happened to them. It was no different from the other facets of their lives. They even went into battle for it. But I … No, my life was in complete contrast to that.
Hastily, I turned my back on my reflection, peeled myself out of my clammy nightgown, and entered the shower.
The water pelted down on me like the images of my dream. Each drop is a memory that was not mine. I had to think of something else. Otherwise, I would go mad.
The wedding!Alex and I had known each other since the sandbox and had grown up together. Nothing could separate my high school sweetheart and me. We were partners, best friends, and each other's rock. Not even the choice of college had divided us. At least until the coup came and overthrew governments in every country, that was the moment our world became a completely different one. Mine even more than Alex's or my three brothers. Because I was a woman who, according to the biblical story of creation, was created to serve man: no more and no less. So, I was not allowed to continue studying, but I had to stay at home like a bird in a cage. Alex continued to pursue our goals alone and studied law. He was about to graduate.
Nevertheless, it had not been able to tear us apart, and Alex risked everything every weekend to be with me. To spend the nights together with me. If one believed the Knights of the Seals, then I was damned if I did not go virginal into a marriage. Since it was too late for that anyway, it made no difference now. However, it became more complex with contraception since this was entirely forbidden by the dictatorship of the order and punished as murder with death, just like an abortion. Alex and I were pretty creative in this regard and have been successful so far.
My thoughts drifted to our night together. This man was a true god in bed. At least, as far as I could tell, he was the only man with whom I had shared the bed so far. And he would remain the only one. With him, everything was so simple, so uncomplicated. With him, I could be who I really was. The Myrina I had been before our world fell apart at the seams. Alex respected me no less now than he had before, even though in the eyes of the new government, I was merely a second-class human being with no right to freedom of speech, education, or my own choices. As soon as we married, he would become what my father and brothers now were—my guardian. My hands formedinto fists. Heat rose inside me. Seething anger at the people who had decided and caused this. The Knights of the Seals.
I took a deep breath and tried to shake off my powerlessness. A feeling that almost drove me mad. Once again, I reminded myself I could have been hit harder. A lot of young girls out there were less fortunate than me. They would never be able to read a book, were not allowed to marry for love, and were kept like slaves. My family, my father and brothers, were forced to abide by the rules of the new governments, but they gave me all the freedom they could. They did not deny me access to books nor disrespect my opinion. It's a good thing my mother didn't have to witness this. She died a year before the Knights of the Seals took power. Of that illness, which the order had attributed to the fourth horseman of the revelation of John.
Mom. I missed her terribly. Especially now that my marriage was so close, I would have loved to have her here by my side, asking her advice on many things. Should I choose a dress with or without a train? Which Bible passage suited us? Were two different desserts enough? The question that bothered me the most was: How did one know if one's love was significant enough to spend the rest of one's life with someone?
My dad did his best to replace the other parent, but neither he nor my brothers could answer the questions burning in my mind. Only my best friend Charly understood me. I had been able to talk to her about everything before. Although she, too, lived on New York's Upper Eastside, it had been a few months since we saw or spoke to each other. Telephones and cell phones were also among the things that were forbidden for us women, as they were for most men. But Dad had promised me he would take me to the next mayor's gala, just as Charly had her father's promise. Then we could finally meet again. The thought of it gave me hope. We ladies were only allowed to attend such festivities because, in our circles, they doubled as wedding fairs.Despite my existing engagement to Alex, I was allowed to go along. Hopefully, there will be no trouble.
In the meantime, the water was getting cooler and cooler. Before it could get freezing, I turned it off and wrapped myself in my bathrobe. Dripping, I left the shower. With one hand, I wiped over the fogged mirror. This time, however, I avoided looking into my eyes. I didn't want to think about that dream anymore since it only reminded me of my powerlessness and the inner urge to stand in this world self-determinedly.
Hastily, I brushed my teeth, dried my wet, almost waist-length hair with a towel, and then walked into the dressing room, which was accessible from the bathroom as well as the bedroom. As I did every morning, I stood perplexed by the rods' selection of clothes. In the past, I would have slipped into my favorite jeans and thrown on a brightly printed T-shirt. Even though I came from a wealthy family, my father owned most of the ports on the East Coast of America; I had never cared much for designer clothes. But now my jeans and T-shirts were banished, and I had to choose from a collection of dresses that were all long sleeves, high-necked, and earth tones. They also reached the floor. I couldn't remember how many times I tripped over the hem of my dress in the beginning. Once, even right on the top step of the stairs that ran from the second floor of our townhouse to the first floor. The result was a concussion and a broken arm.
Disgruntled, I grabbed the first brown dress I could find and slipped into it as created by God. My little act of rebellion. Even though no one would notice I wasn't wearing any underwear. Just knowing it was satisfying enough. There may be a tiny Amazon in me after all. Besides, it would hopefully cool me down. This spring was one of the warmest New York had ever experienced, and already, it was almost unbearable outside an air-conditioned room with rising temperatures. Wisely, Iselected a fan from one of the dressers. With nimble fingers, I braided my damp black hair into a ponytail, which I pulled into a chignon. This was the only reminder of my earlier devotion to ballet.
One last look in the mirror showed me exactly the person I was expected to be and hated more and more. So often, I wondered how long I would let myself be forced into this mold. How long could I stand in my golden cage?
At the beginning of the new world order, many uprisings and protests occurred. Men and women took to the streets together, rebelling against the new governments. There were many wars, and even today, five years later, violence dominates our everyday life.
At some point, examples had begun to be made of women who rebelled against the Knights of the Seals. They were publicly tortured like the witches of the Middle Ages and then burned at the stake. I had been a witness to such executions, and the screams of the burning women haunted my nightmares to this day. In the first year, even every night.
Death, however painful, could be a welcome escape from the shackles of this existence. I was not afraid of dying. But after the execution of a rebel, her entire family was stripped of everything they owned. The relatives were disgraced and cast out from society. Without a roof over their heads, without money, and a future, they usually followed the dead woman the next winter when hunger and cold became rampant. That was it, which had always kept me so far from a rebellion, referred me each time again into the barriers that delimited my cage. I could not do such a thing to my family. My father and my brothers were no longer the youngest. They had built a life for themselves, or at least tried as hard as possible. How could I take all that away from them? It would seem selfish to me.
That'swhy I once again swallowed my anger and longing for freedom—suppressed the Amazon, which still seemed to flash behind my green eyes. It had worked all the years before, so why shouldn't it continue to work in the years to come?Because it takes away your breath when your skin is too tight, a small voice whispered deep inside me, and a shiver ran over my body.
CHAPTER 3
Alex,” I whispered as I gently stroked his stubbly cheek. “Alex, you need to wake up! The sun will be up soon.”
