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“Even the haters are shipping you now. You’re trending with #lovegoals and #5eva.”
I frowned. “What’s five-eva?”
“Like forever, but longer.” Grace tied a dead twig into my hair. “Berg’s going to flip if you’re like that today.”
“No promises,” I said. “At least between takes.”
But Berg split us up that day, moved our chairs far apart. When we tried to push them together, he got between us.
“Not this time,” he said. “In fact… Eric, take your chair over there.”
Eric looked where he was pointing and his brows drew together. “What, behind all those boxes?”
“Yeah, over there. I want you both lonely. She’s dying today, so go. Get away.” He jabbed a finger at me, then flapped both hands at Eric. “You’re too young to know this, but dying is lonely. Kate dies in Lock’s arms, but she still dies alone. I want you to feel that, so no talking. No touching. You’re not to go near her till I call our last cut.”
Eric tried to dart back to me, but Berg got between us.
“No kisses goodbye. That’s not how this works. Death sneaks from nowhere, no warning. No kisses. You don’t get those last moments. Things stay unsaid.”
My guts clenched at that, and I sat down hard. I hated the thought of losing moments with Eric, first ones or last ones or anything between them. We’d only just found each other, and—
“She gets it,” crowed Berg. “Look at her face.”
Eric tried to look at me, but Berg shooed him away. “No, don’t really look at her. We roll in five minutes. Go over your scripts till then, no heart-eyes. No chatter.”
I sat half-stunned, going over my script. Eric and I were only beginning. To think of the end right now, I couldn’t bear it. What would that look like, saying goodbye to Eric? Or would he be the one turning away? It hardly felt possible when he held me close, but only a month ago,noneof this would have. If he could reach out to me, he could pull back.
“Everyone, places. Lacey, get your blood.”
I stood, feeling cold, and made my way to the beach. Grace punctured the blood bag under my jacket. I pressed my hand to it to start a slow leak. Eric stooped to let me drape my arm around him, and Berg shoutedaction, and we staggered down the beach.
“We made it,” gasped Eric. “Kate— Kate, we—”
I dropped to my knees,thudin the sand. My palms were slick with cold sweat, like I was really dying. My stomach felt sour, my chest tight and heavy. Eric dropped down beside me.
“Kate?”
I lifted my hand, dripping with blood. Held it up to the light, all slick and glistening. Eric grabbed it. Wiped at it. Jerked up my jacket. My shirt was soaked through, my pants black with gore.
“It doesn’t look that bad.” Eric’s voice broke. “It’s— I’ve seen worse.” He pushed up my shirt to reveal Grace’s artistry, a gaping black hole pulsing with blood. Streaming in sheets over gelatin skin. I raised my head to peer down at it, and fell back with a shudder.
“I won’t leave you this time.” Eric helped me sit up. I slumped forward, head lolling. Eric grabbed my arm and tried to heave me upright.
“You need to hold on.Kate.Can you hear me? You need to get on my back. I’ll carry you home, but you need to hold on.”
I slid off his back, limp in the sand. Eric shook me and slapped me, dragged me up by my wrists. I fell back again, with a harsh, bloody cough.
“Lock,” I croaked. “Please…”
“This can’t be happening.”
I stared up past him, into the depthless blue sky. Losing Eric, saying goodbye… I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t want to.
“That’s right,” he said. “Just rest, catch your breath. Then we’ll keep going.”
I made a low, desolate sound, knowing he would keep going, but I would remain here alone on the beach. The tide would rise up and take me away, and I’d be lost to the depths, lost forever.
“Kate, look at me.”
