AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Lacey,” he said, and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t exist one more second not knowing our fate, if this was the end for us or a whole new beginning. I grabbed both his hands and clutched them in mine.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Eric blinked. “What?”
“Let’s not get divorced, at least not right away. Let’s keep this thing going and see where it leads. When I’m with you, I feel like— I feel somuch. You make me want to be my best self. You make me want more. I’ve never had that with anyone, that sense I could grow with them. I could grow with you. We could grow together.” I realized I was babbling, but I couldn’t stop. The second I stopped talking, Eric would start, and if he didn’t say yes to me, I’d shatter where I stood. “You can be yourself with me. You can tell me anything. I think— I think…”
Eric had stepped closer, and now he gathered me to him. He held me and rocked me, safe in his arms — but I didn’t feel safe. I felt the ground crumbling. His hug, like his kiss, felt like goodbye. Tears sprang to my eyes and I blinked them back roughly. I pulled away from him and pressed my hand to his chest.
“Eric?”
“I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat.
I couldn’t breathe. “Sorry for what?”
He laid his hand over mine, but he didn’t meet my eyes. Instead, he looked past me, out at the ocean.
“You’re an incredible person,” he said. “Beautiful. Smart. And you challenge me. You make me better.”
“But?”
He shook his head. Swallowed. “I don’t want to say ‘but.’ Youareall those things. You’re brilliant, you’re talented, no buts about it. If we can’t be together, it’s not about that. It’s not about anything you are or aren’t.”
“Then what is it? Why? We can’t be together?” A laugh broke from my throat, ragged and ugly. “You’re talking like our future is out of your hands. Like, wecan’tbe together, not you don’t want to. What are you hiding, a wife in the attic? Two wives? A kid? Or, no, are you dying? What’s the big secret?”
Eric gave a dry chuckle. “No, I’m not dying. And no attic wives. No children, either. No one but you.”
“Then tell me what’s wrong. Why don’t you want this?”
Eric drew a deep breath and held it, then let it out. “It’s like this party,” he said. “This night on the beach. It’s beautiful, perfect, you don’t want it to end. But think how it would be if it went on forever. You’d have nothing to look forward to but more of the same, more champagne, more dancing, more walks on the beach. You’d get drunk, you’d get sick, and you’d want to go home, but you’d be trapped in this endless party.”
I stared, disbelieving. “You’re comparing a life with me to some crappy party?”
Eric massaged his brow. “No, that came out wrong. What I meant was, not everything’s meant for forever. Some things are perfectbecausethey don’t last.”
I frowned at Eric. He wasn’t making sense. It felt like we were talking through a thick layer of static, nothing true, nothing meaningful making it through. I reached for his hand and tried one more time.
“I never said anything about forever. All I’m saying is, shouldn’t we give us a chance? You know, keep on dating? See how it goes?”
Eric’s chest hitched like he was about to speak, but he didn’t say anything. He stared at my hand.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
Eric squeezed my hand, then let it drop. “I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t see us long-term, and if we try to force it… It’s not a good idea.”
I made a soft, wounded sound. When had he gone so cold? I could feel my heart pounding, tearing itself apart, waves of hurt and anger pulsing through my chest. I wanted to shake Eric. I wanted to scream at him, but I bit my tongue.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “We agreed to this.”
When we hated each other,I wanted to shriek.Before you made me fall for you. Before we wereus.
“I should go,” Eric said. “I have a full day ahead. We’re recording my voiceovers before—”
“Liar,” I said.
Eric didn’t deny it. He turned away. I grabbed a handful of sand and flung it at his back.
“Did you just throw sand at me?”
