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“We all get a vote.”
“I think we all get a stone in a three-set,” he replied. “I was already thinking about it. She would like it if we put thought into it. Like Jackson a stone that means protection or strength. You’re fun and adventurous.”
“Your role is just as important,” I reminded him, hating that he had a middle-child complex when we were fucking triplets. It was valid, but we were all the same age, and we still had shit like that which was just ridiculous.
Really, it was.
When everyone started wrapping up, I realized I’d not seen my nugget come back out again, going in search of her. My heart ached as I stepped into the storage barn and I rushed off to find her, scared she wasn’t okay.
She wasn’t, but the pain or upset couldn’t have been too deep if we didn’t feel it outside.
“Nugget?” I whispered as I squatted down next to her. She flinched, hurrying to mop up her tears and sniffling loudly. “What’s up, duck?”
“She’s gone,” she rasped. “The puzzle spirit. I can’t summon her anymore. Her husband was convicted and we finished the puzzle and now I can’t summon her.”
“Hey, that’s great, she moved on,” I comforted as I plopped down on my butt and hugged her.
She gave me such a lost look. “Do we know that? We don’t really know that. What if she just became nothing because she had nothing left to hold onto?”
I sighed, leaning my forehead to hers. “I think I’d rather have that than be trapped in limbo, nugget. I’ve thought a lot about this, and I think even the ones you absorb or turn to nothing move on. I don’t think a soul, a consciousness, just becomesnothing. I think it’s one final piece of them here. You’ve said they get locked in that moment and I think it’s themin that moment.”
“You mean like an echo of who they were?”
I nodded. “Yeah, like that. I’m here, but there is always the energy or stains of my blood anywhere I’ve bled. Maybe some part of them fractures and really, they’reallfractured spirits that need that last part held here broken.” She didn’t reply so I trusted my gut that I was right on this. “What do you feel when you summon her?”
“Nothing, she’s gone,” she whispered.
“You’re worried, but use your witchy goodness that taps into nature when you offer up everything to Gaia, nugget. I think you’ll find an answer if you’re open to it.”
She nodded, moving away from me and back into the circle. I saw her take several slow breaths in and out before activating the circle. She tried again and I saw it, I saw the answer which was why I felt okay pushing this.
I’d seen it when she’d tried to summon the psychiatrist’s spirit that had helped us but couldn’t.
She deactivated the circle and blinked at me as if coming out of a dream. “Peace. There’s nothing but peace there.”
“Exactly. I don’t think that would be the answer if a spirit was erased, do you?”
She shook her head and gave me an impressed look. “I love how smart you all are. It’s so fucking sexy. You all knock yourselves for not being book or school smart, but there are lots of kinds of intelligence and I adore yours.”
I cleared my throat. “Thanks, nugget.” I shrugged. “We get an outside perspective on some of this. I saw how peaceful you looked when you tried to summon the shrink.
“You even look that way when you absorb fractured spirits. I don’t have the answers, but I cannot think if you erased something that Gaia made it wouldn’t be peaceful.”
She nodded. “I think you’re right. It’s nice to have answers even if we’ll never know. I mean, like our beliefs.”
“It is.” I was glad she said that because it gave me the courage to ask something. “How come you never cut your hair when you hid it always, nugget?”
She frowned. “Random topic change much?”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Yeah, I guess, but you were saying getting answers was better and I always wondered.” I nodded to where she was trying to get her hair out from under her butt as she moved closer to me. “I love your hair, don’t get me wrong, but it always struck me as odd you kept it so long when it was more to hide.”
“Promise not to laugh?” she whispered, staring at the floor which she always did when a topic pained her.
“I only laugh with you, nugget, never at you,” I said gently, pulling her onto my lap.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I specifically remember you laughing at me and a lot when I couldn’t get the new shower to work.”
“Only because you thought we were pulling a prank and it was voice-activated. Coming in there and watching youshoutat your shower while naked was too funny.”
