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“I want real with you!” he half shouted. “I get how you saw it now, but that wasn’t how I meant it. I did this all wrong and I don’t want to—Ican’tend things with you. Please, just—I was trying to not push you.”
I stared up at him. “Are you fucking with me?”
“No, I swear it.” He let out a growl and fisted his hair as he started pacing my bathroom. “It made sense in my head. You had all of this going on and—”
“Okay, maybe you are dense because I gave you every sign to stay in my bed and I wanted more,” I grumbled.
“You did?” he asked, his eyes wide. “I wanted to stay in your bed. I hated leaving, but you said it was play. How—what signs?”
“Reaching for you when you got out of the bed is the universal sign of ‘don’t go,’ you idiot.”
“I thought you were just letting me sneak another kiss,” he muttered before growling again and kneeling next to the tub.“I’m sorry. I’m a stupid, stupid man, but I want real. I wasn’t going to tell you I didn’t want you.
“What kind of fucking moron would do that? I thought we could celebrate tonight and make it real. I want to stay here and have a future here and I want you. I want both!”
I did a great impression of a fish. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me and he’d missed so much. “How in the world did you come up with that being the way to go?”
“Because I’m a stupid man,” he repeated.
“Right, but there are—”
“Because I’m a virgin,” he blurted, and my eyes went comically wide.
“You said you’ve been with girls,” I argued.
He cleared his throat and focused on the water. “I’ve kissed a few, made out with and felt up one, but nothing—only with you really. I didn’t want to sound like a useless idiot who couldn’t please you. I mean, you have experience and—”
“Stop talking,” I ordered, amused when he snapped his mouth closed. I scooted over and knelt almost in front of him, loving how his eyes at me up. “Did you want to give me your virginity?”
“Yes, I want to be yours, Adrena,” he murmured, leaning in.
I moved my fingers over his mouth before he kissed me but let his shirt get wet as he pressed against my naked tits.
“You did everything wrong and gave every signal you didn’t want real with me. So I’m having trouble believing you after weeks of that.” I waited until he nodded. “Maybe next time instead of acting like an experienced adult and falling flat, youtalkto the adult you want to be with.”
Hurt filled his eyes, and no matter how big he was, he did a great impression of a scolded puppy. My ogre puppy. He nodded, kissing my fingers.
“I don’t know I’m able to just flip a switch and offer you real again,” I admitted, moving my fingers away as I sat back on my feet. It hit me hard that it was my truthful answer. “I spent the week putting up shields from the hurt that was clearly coming. Then you were a dick tonight at my party after saying it was because of the party that—”
“I know, I know, and I’m so sorry. Please, give me a chance to show you I’m serious and not playing games. I mean, fun games only, not mean ones.”
I studied his earnest expression and wanted to believe him. “And if I said sex wouldn’t mean we were real anymore?”
He reacted like I slapped him, getting he’d broken that trust and desire with me. He let out a slow breath and then met my eyes, his gaze determined.
“I’d still give my virginity to you because there is no one else I’d ever want to give it to or be with. I’d figure out a way to show you Iwantreal instead of playing because I thought it was less stressful for you. Please, give me that chance.”
It was so ridiculously sweet, I found myself nodding before I even realized it. I was a damn idiot, but I wanted to believe him. “Okay.”
“Okay.” He let out a shaky breath. “Okay.”
He reached in the tub and plucked me out, ignoring my yelp and hitting the lever to drain the tub before carrying me to my bed. I watched as he yanked off his clothes as his eyes ate me up and I didn’t have the heart to remind him I hadn’t said we were actually going to have sex then.
“Is this how you want your first time?” I checked as he finished and knelt on the bed.
He nodded. “Yes, fuck yes, I need you, Adrena. I’ve been dying for you. I want my cinnamon and to be in you finally.”
I shivered, nodding when he moved over me. “I have the protection charm.”
