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When she turned, I stumbled back a step at the mix of gratefulness, anger, and pity that swirled in her eyes. Fuck. I hated when people felt sorry for me. I’d seen that look too many damn times since I’d come home, and she was the last person I wanted that from.
“Do you know the signs of secondary drowning?” I couldn’t let her walk away without asking.
She nodded silently, pulling Teddy in tighter.
“I think he’s fine. But you’ll need to keep an eye on him.”
A slight tremor in her hand caught my attention as she let go of Callie’s hand and brushed her light brown hair over her shoulder.
“Okay.”
Until this moment, I’d assumed she was unaffected by the whole situation, but maybe, like me, she was the type of person who held it together in the moment and stressed about all the what-ifs after the fact.
I stood frozen in place for a long moment, watching them walk away. This was not how I imagined my first interaction with this woman would go. I should have reached out months ago.
Even before she moved here, I had thought about looking her up, and each time, I’d go through what I would say. I’d written it down so many times, searching for the right words. But it never seemed like enough. No words could change the outcome of that day. I’d seen my fair share of death, yet this one haunted me in a way no other had.
I grumbled to myself and headed up the hill toward the back of the restaurant. When I made it to the top, I locked my jaw tight and rubbed at my left thigh.
Damn, it was fucking burning and a constant reminder of all I was responsible for and what I’d lost.
My physical therapist had worked me hard this morning. The last thing I needed was the running, jumping, and swimming required to retrieve a kid from the lake. What I did need, though, was a long soak in the hot tub and probably a muscle relaxer. I didn’t use them often, but today’s events and the pain already hitting me called for one.
My brother strode toward me, brow furrowed, looking me up and down. “Why the hell are you all wet? You go for a swim or something?”
Yeah, asshole. I came out here and thoughtwhy the hell not? A dip in the lake fully clothed sounds perfect. But I wasn’t fighting stupid with stupid.
“No, Rhett.” I huffed. “I had to fish someone’s kid out of the lake.”
Rhett scanned the area. His eyes widened, then darted back to me.
“You mean Tina Hughes?” He nodded off to his right. “The woman holding the soaking kid?”
I glanced over and nodded. I was the only one in town aware of my connection to Tina, and I was grateful for that. No one here knew that I’d failed her. Her husband. Their kids. And it was unlikely they ever would. Even if I eventually had to explain that I’d met Hughes that one time, I’d become an expert at vague answers. I’d keep the details of that day to myself.
“Yeah. Her kid took off his life jacket and fell in. He didn’t have the first clue what to do when he hit the water.”
I shook my head. Our small lakeside town had experienced occasional water-related tragedies over the years. We had all been affected when we lost a teenage friend to drowning. Rubbing at my leg, I swallowed the guilt as memories of another time I failed overwhelmed me. Fuck. Anna’s death was another I felt accountable for. Her blue lips and lifeless body asI continued to perform CPR. The horror and agony on my best friend’s face the moment he realized she was gone. Fuck. One after another, the snapshots stabbed at me.
“Kyle.” Rhett’s voice jarred me back to the present.
I blinked. What the hell? I hadn’t thought about that day in a very long time.
“Did you hear me?” he said when I still didn’t respond.
I shook my head and sucked in a breath to center myself.
“Teddy alright?” Rhett frowned, scrutinizing me with far too much intensity.
I nodded and turned to avoid his gaze. The last thing I needed was for him to see the turmoil and guilt that was eating me alive. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, only for a bolt of pain to shoot down my leg. Wincing and cursing under my breath, I shifted back.
According to my therapist, I needed to stop favoring my left leg. No shit. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, and I’d do just about anything to move past the pain and weakness still plaguing me. But I was beginning to wonder if that would ever happen. The bullet had shattered my femur. Two surgeries and a shit ton of physical therapy later, it was still not where it should be.
“What’s up with you today? You’re in more of a mood than usual.”
“I’m fine,” I bit out.
He sighed. “Okay.”
