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Stopping a few feet away, I glanced over my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
I swallowed hard, unsure of why she was thanking me. Even so, I nodded and continued toward Teddy’s room. I laid him in bed and pulled the door mostly closed, then headed back toward Tina.
She was moving around the large open space, checking the back door and turning off lights. When she glanced at me, her face was a mask of exhaustion.
She pulled her long cardigan tighter around her body. “Callie go to bed already?”
I nodded. “She, um—” I looked down at my wrist. “I think my watch upset her.”
Stepping forward, Tina frowned. Gently, she grasped my wrist and lifted it. “Could be the band. Levi’s watches all had that olive-green color band.”
I sorted through my memories of that day, searching for any memory of the watch he was wearing. But after two years and two deployments, some details had become increasingly fuzzy.
“Thank you for hanging out with her while I lay with Teddy.”
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Of course.” Shuffling closer, I looped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her against me. I rested my chin on top of her head, breathing her in.
She let out a yawn, then melted into my hold.
It took everything in me to release her. “Good night, Tina.” I raised her chin up with my thumb and forefinger and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.
The smile she gave me as I stepped back had me rubbing at the ache in my chest. Her smile always made me feel…I don’t know; happy wasn’t quite right. Almost infectious, I guessed. Like I could feel the joy she was feeling. I couldn’t understand it. Plenty of people smiled at me every day, but none had ever had this effect.
This wasn’t the right time, but as I drove home, it really sank in. I needed to tell her about Levi, the husband and dad. Not Hughes, the soldier I couldn’t save.
If it helped her or Callie find peace to know he thought and spoke of them in his last moments, then I’d give them those details, regardless of what it might cost me.
Chapter Nineteen
TINA
By Friday,I was so ready for Kyle to touch me. Like really touch me, in the most intimate ways. The way he cupped my face, anchored me to his lap and kissed me until I forgot all about my children sleeping down the hall, replayed in my mind all week. Wednesday night was torture. I’d seen the way he looked at me, his gaze burning my skin, and I wanted him to kiss me like he had before.
All week, I’d planned to ask Lilly to babysit for our date tomorrow night. It was what I should have done. But I took a risk and went a different route. When my phone chimed from the kitchen counter, I rinsed the dish I’d been washingand dried my hands. My heart rate picked up as I snatched the phone and opened my text thread with my mom.
Mom: We’d love to have the kids tomorrow night. You have a date with that hot blond hunk of yours?
Oh my God. My mother. I shook my head and typed out a response.
Me: Yes. It’s just dinner.
Mom: Well, then. We’ll keep the kids overnight. You know, in case it ends up being more than just dinner. ;)
I sighed. This was exactly why I should have asked Lilly. But whatever. Mission accomplished. Because if the opportunity arose, I wanted to seize it. Just one night to be free.
An hour after I climbed into bed, I lay awake, tossing and turning. I had no earthly clue what had gotten into me, but I couldn’t shake the images in my mind of Kyle’s hands roaming all over my naked body, his lips grazing my neck and then lower. I didn’t need sexual release very often. I’d always wondered if I was broken. Levi would be gone for months, and I would only make myself come once or twice during that time. I enjoyed sex, but it had always been more about the connection with Levi, or the reconnection after he’d been gone for months and the intimacy of coming together again.
This was different. The longer I lay there, the more frustrated I became. For the first time, I thought I really understood the phrasehot and bothered.
His latest text telling me to wear a dress tomorrow didn’t help matters. I kept imagining him running his hand up under my dress and between my thighs.
I sat up and contemplated my nightstand. Dammit. Iwasn’t even sure I had unpacked the small box that had my only vibrator in it. It was still sitting on the top shelf of my closet. I could almost guarantee it. With a huff, I fell back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I was a mess.
After a night of vivid dreams and still no release, I was beyond wound up. All day, I’d felt guilty about pawning my kids off on my parents and had considered canceling, but when I saw how excited they were to have a sleepover at Grammy’s, I finally relaxed. Until now. Now that the kids were gone, tension rolled through my body for other reasons.
“I’m not sure I can do this.” I snapped the eyeshadow palette shut, not missing the way Emily rolled her eyes on the screen.
