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“A few months won’t make any difference,” he said again, almost as if he was speaking to himself. “Lesley won’t mind.”
“You’re probably right,” Molly said, although if she were Lesley she’d have a lot more to say on the subject.
“When will you be seeing Doug again?”
“Late Monday afternoon.”
“So soon?”
“He wants to monitor this pregnancy closely because I’ve just come back from Africa.” That, plus the fact they’d lost Jeffrey, which was obvious.
“I see,” Jordan commented. “Is his office still downtown?”
Molly nodded.
“That’s my project going up, two blocks over. I’ll be there on-site Monday afternoon. Why don’t you stop by afterward and let me know what the doctor has to say.”
“All right,” Molly agreed, “I will.”
* * *
Jordan tried not to think about Molly all morning, but she kept turning up in his thoughts, plaguing him with memories of how good their lives together had once been. All that had changed with Jeffrey.
He couldn’t think about his son and not experience anger. An anger so intense it bordered on rage. Over time Jordan had focused that anger in just about every direction. At first he blamed the medical profession, Jeffrey’s pediatrician, Molly and finally himself.
If only he’d gone into Jeffrey’s bedroom that morning. Instead he’d left the house and damned Molly to the agony of finding their lifeless son.
Jordan’s fists clenched as the fury surged through him. His breathing was heavy, and his heart felt like a rock pounding against his ribs. Within a few minutes the anger passed, the way it always did, and his tension eased away.
Now Molly was pregnant again.
Jordan had delayed the divorce, and even now hewasn’t sure why. Molly was right; the baby wasn’t going to change anything. Seven, eight months from now it would be born.
It.
He was more comfortable thinking of the baby as an it. Dealing with a tiny human being who cried and laughed and smiled when he recognized his daddy was beyond Jordan’s capabilities. He’d keep his distance, Jordan promised himself. He planned never to see this baby, never to hold it, never to love it. But for Molly’s sake and perhaps his own, he’d do what he considered best for now—wait until after the birth to pursue the divorce.
Once the baby was born, Jordan fully intended to have the final papers processed. Then he’d marry Lesley.
He felt better. His life was neatly arranged. He was in control again.
He glanced at his watch and exhaled slowly. He was meeting Lesley briefly, returning some blueprints to her office. He wasn’t looking forward to this because he knew she was going to ask about the divorce.
When he hadn’t been obsessed with thoughts of Molly, Jordan had been worrying about what he’d tell Lesley. The truth, of course. But he needed to couch it in a way that assured her of his commitment. Doing it now, however, felt wrong. He’d prefer to give it a few days and sort through his feelings.
If luck was with him, Lesley would be busy and he could simply hand over the papers to her assistant. But as it happened, Lesley had stepped outside her office and was talking to a colleague when Jordan arrived. Hewas cursing his fate when she looked up and beamed him a delectable smile.
“Jordan, come and have a coffee with me.”
“Sure.” For show he looked at his watch, hoping to give the impression that he had another appointment and could only manage a few minutes. He followed her into her office, his heart heavy. This could well be the most difficult conversation of his life.
He liked the way Lesley had decorated her office with oak bookcases and an oak drafting table. One thing he could say about her, she had exquisite taste.
“So,” she said, automatically pouring him a cup of coffee. “How did everything go in court yesterday?”
He’d assumed there was no way to say it other than directly, but perhaps he should reconsider his tactic. He borrowed a trick from Molly instead. “You’d better sit down.”
“Sit down?” She raised her eyes from the glass coffeepot until they connected with his. “Something’s wrong?” she asked and walked around to her side of the desk.
