AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You didn’t even have the decency to tell me you were leaving. I walked in the house and found a stupid note on the refrigerator. You couldn’t have told me face-to-face?”
“Why should I? We hadn’t talked in weeks. The only reason I left a note,” she said, throwing back her head and glaring at him, “was because I figured that otherwise it’d take a month for you to notice I’d moved out.”
“I handled Jeffrey’s death in my own way,” Jordan shouted.
“You handled nothing! You wanted me to pretend he’d never lived…you wanted me to continue as if nothing was wrong. I couldn’t do it then and I refuse to do it now.”
“You’re throwing Jeffrey in my face again. You’re using him as a weapon to beat me up, to tell me how wrong I’ve been.”
“You’re the one who’s guilty of repeating the same mistakes,” she said. “You want to pretend this baby isn’t alive, either.” She flattened her hand over her stomach and her eyes brimmed with tears. “I find it ironic that you accusemeof running away when that’s whatyou’vebeen doing for nearly four years.”
Jordan clenched his fists, fighting down his rage. “For once you’re right. We have no business seeing each other. By all means, let’s not make the same mistakes again.”
“That’s perfectly fine with me. Go back to Lesley,” Molly suggested, reaching her car. “I’m sure you’re exactly right for each other.”
* * *
The next morning, Jordan met with Lesley. He wanted to be kind to her, and hoped he could break offtheir unofficial engagement in a way that left her with her pride intact.
Following his argument with Molly, his nerves were raw. He felt edgy, impatient and so weary. He’d sat up most of the night thinking, not that it had done any good. In the morning, he felt as if he were walking in a haze, and the sensation reminded him of when he’d woken in the hospital after being shot.
“This time hasn’t been easy on either of us, has it?” Lesley commented, bringing him a cup of coffee. He sat in the leather chair across from her desk and thanked her with a smile. It was going to take a lot more than caffeine to get him through this ordeal.
“I’ve done some soul-searching in the past couple of days,” Lesley said evenly, taking the seat behind her desk. He saw that she avoided looking directly at him, and guessed she was as uncomfortable as he was.
“What did you come up with?” Jordan asked, sipping his coffee.
“Mostly, I realized that I’ve been playing a fool’s game,” she said nervously. “You’re in love with Molly. I should’ve realized it when you decided to go after her in Africa yourself. As soon as you came back, I knew immediately that things were different between us, but I didn’t want to admit it. Then…then at her cousin’s wedding, I saw the two of you dancing. It should’ve been clear then. You might have said something, Jordan, and spared me this.”
She had every right to be angry. Jordan had no defense.
“When I learned Molly was pregnant and you decidedto hold up the divorce…well, that speaks for itself, doesn’t it?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” How weak that sounded.
Her hands cradled her coffee mug and she lowered her gaze, taking a moment to compose herself before she continued.
“I understand now that I was willing to marry you for all the wrong reasons. We’d worked together for several years and were comfortable with each other, but there’s never been any great passion between us. The fact that we’ve never done more than kiss should’ve told me that. I was willing to marry you, Jordan, because I so badly want to be married. For years I’ve struggled to build my career and then I woke up one morning and realized how lonely I was. I wanted a loving relationship. Needed one.”
“We were both lost and lonely,” Jordan interjected.
“I …know I agreed there wouldn’t be any children, but I was hoping you’d change your mind later. Talk about living in a fool’s paradise.”
“I’d like it if we could find a way to remain friends.”
Lesley nodded. “Of course. I’m not angry—at least, not at you. You’re a good man, Jordan, and I’m hoping you and Molly can work things out.”
“I’m hoping we can, too.” But it wasn’t likely, not now. He stood and set down his coffee mug. “There’s someone out there for you, Lesley. You’ll meet him, and when you do, you’ll know.”
* * *
October was Molly’s favorite month of year. The winds off Lake Michigan were still warm, swirling uporange and brown autumn leaves as she walked along the redbrick pathways of the neighborhood park.
At four and a half months, her baby was actively making himself known, stretching, exploring his floating world. Despite the ultrasound she’d recently had, she didn’t know if her baby was a boy or a girl. She used masculine references just because she was so used to doing that, she supposed. Boy or girl, it didn’t matter.
Molly hadn’t seen Jordan since that afternoon six weeks earlier. He hadn’t made an effort to contact her, and she certainly had no plans to see him. Not after the terrible things they’d said to each other.
In the intervening weeks, Molly was struck by how different she felt. About herself. About life.
