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“Then why insist on dragging him into our conversation? Into our lives? He’s gone, Molly. As painful as that is to accept, he’s never coming back.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?”
“I have no idea anymore.”
She needed to tread carefully, Molly realized, otherwise they’d fall into the same trap and their discussion would disintegrate into a bitter shouting match. That had been their pattern almost four years earlier, until they’d blocked each other completely out.
She rested her hand on the bulge created by her baby. As she guessed he would, Jordan followed the movement of her arm. He quickly looked away.
“I’m pregnant with another child,” she said softly.
Jordan trained his eyes across the room as if he couldn’t bear to be reminded of her pregnancy. “This child has nothing to do with Jeffrey.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This baby haseverythingto do with Jeffrey. For nearly four years you’ve tried to pretend our son didn’t exist. You don’t want to talk about him. You tried to destroy every piece of evidence he lived. It isn’t as easy as that, Jordan. Jeffreywas our son and he’s indelibly marked our lives, the same way this baby will.”
“Listen, Molly, I’m not going to let you force this baby on me,” he said, his control snapping. “The pregnancy was a mistake. It should never have happened.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Molly said as unemotionally as she could, despite her pain and anger. “If it hadn’t been for this baby, we’d be divorced by now. This child is a blessing.”
The truth hit her then with as much shock as when she’d walked into Jeffrey’s bedroom that fateful morning. She raised her eyes to Jordan and stared at him. “Maybe Iamnothing more to you than a good lay,” she choked out. “Maybe there’s nothing between us except sex—just like you said.”
“No.” Jordan’s response was immediate and strong. “That’s not true. I love you, Molly. I’ve never been able to stop loving you.”
How she managed to hold on to her composure she didn’t know. “My baby isn’t a mistake, Jordan, not to me.”
He didn’t say anything.
Her hand trembled as she raised it to her face, to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen over her eye. “I’m hoping we can both be mature enough to accept each other’s opinion.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said.
She lowered her head and a tear fell onto the table. “I know.”
His hand reached for hers. “I’d better go.”
Just the way he said it made her suspect he wouldn’tbe back anytime soon. Even knowing that, she couldn’t bring herself to suggest he stay.
Jordan was about to walk out of her life and she was about to let him. Another tear fell, followed by another and then another.
Jordan got up and made his way out of the room. He paused abruptly in the doorway, his hands knotted at his sides. He stood there for so long that Molly looked up at him. His back was stiff, his shoulders tense.
“Can I come and see you again?”
Tightness gripped her throat and when she spoke her voice squeaked. “All right.”
He left then, and Molly wondered if they were simply prolonging the inevitable.
Sometimes loving each other wasn’t enough.
Perhaps the kindest thing she could do was cut her losses now and set them both free.
* * *
Jordan sat in front of a set of blueprints, drinking a beer. His mind wasn’t on his construction company and hadn’t been from the moment Molly came back into his life.
He’d left her apartment barely two hours ago and already he was wondering how soon he could manufacture an excuse to see her again.
He’d managed to hold off for a week and it’d nearly killed him to stay away that long. He doubted he’d last another seven-day stretch without seeing her, without holding and kissing her again. He could live without lovemaking, but he couldn’t live without her.
