AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Others do it,” she protested.
“But no one else is pregnant with my child.”
She smiled softly at that. “I’ll need an office here at the house.”
“Make whatever arrangements you need.”
“I’ll still probably have to drive in a couple of times a week.”
“Fine, just as long as it isn’t every day.” They entered the bedroom and Zane pulled back the covers for her. When she stared up at him with round, pleading eyes, he knew he couldn’t walk away. A few minutes, he told himself, just a few minutes, and climbed in beside her.
As if by instinct, she snuggled into his arms, her head on his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re happy about the baby?” she asked in a voice that was barely audible, almost as though she were afraid of the answer.
“Very sure.” He pressed his palm against her bare abdomen. He meant it as a gesture of reassurance to prove the sincerity of his words. The backlash of sudden emotion ambushed him. His child grew inside his wife.
His child.
Zane had never been comfortable with emotion. For a good portion of his life he’d eliminated anything that had to do with feelings. Buried them. Ignored them. Denied them.
He’d gone into this marriage discounting any possible sentiment he might attach to Lesley or their child. He’d completely discredited the possibility of falling in love. Now he was left to face the overwhelming consequences.
He wished he knew the baby’s sex. He knew Lesley would delight in calling him a chauvinist if he confessed to wanting a son. At the same time he realized that it would probably be easier for her to raise a daughter since she would be alone. Of course, there was always the chance Lesley would remarry.
The shaft of sudden pain at the thought of another man taking his place in her life and bed, raising his child, was almost more than Zane could tolerate. His breathing shallowed as he struggled with the monumental task of contemplating this possibility.
“Is it your leg?” Lesley whispered, reaching toward his thigh. She mistook his emotional agony for physical.
He didn’t answer and allowed her to massage the muscles of his upper leg. Her stroking fingers had an instant and curious effect upon him. He swallowed, slowed his breath and grabbed hold of her wrist.
“Enough,” he told her between clenched teeth. It was agony sleeping at her side night after night, wanting her with a desperation that rocked him. He was afraid. A man who looked death in the eye feared a slip of a woman, feared his hunger for her would injure their child. He worried that loving her would forever mark his soul.
He felt her smile as she relaxed against him. “We won’t hurt the baby, you know.”
Zane gritted his teeth. Not with pain, but with the physical struggle necessary to resist her.
“We haven’t made love since before you went away,” she reminded him. This time, Zane hadn’t the strength to refuse her. He wanted to be gentle when he kissed her, but the ability was beyond him. His lips were hard and demanding, and her passion matched his. Gradually the kiss gentled as he plowed his fingers through her hair, loving the taste of her, exulting in the generous way she responded to him.
“You’re sure I won’t hurt the baby?” He needed reassurance as he gathered her body beneath his.
“Positive,” she whispered with a small, glad laugh. “Besides, it will please her mother a great deal.”
“Her?” he chided.
“All right…him.”
He kissed her again with an urgency that left him weak.
“Zane, oh, Zane, what took you so long? I’ve missed you so much.”
For a long time afterward he held her. She fell asleep in his arms, her bare legs entwined with his. Again and again his hand stroked her hair as he contemplated the future and the monumental task of telling his wife he was leaving her and their unborn child.
* * *
Lesley had known something was wrong with Zane when they’d arrived home from their short honeymoon. A mysterious letter had awaited her husband, and from that moment forward, everything had changed.
Whatever was troubling Zane seemed to be linked to his secretive trip. Since his return, he’d been withdrawn and edgy. Depressed and miserable. He wasn’t sleeping well, either. Lesley had hoped he’d voluntarily tell her whatever the problem was, but thus far he’d been tight-lipped and uncommunicative. She wanted him to trust her.
His unexpected reaction to the news of her pregnancy continued to trouble her. She assumed he’d be as pleased as she was, but after she’d made the announcement, he’d barely said a word. He’d always been gentle with her, and was still. His thoughtful looks were often tender, but she had the distinct feeling he was emotionally detaching himself from her. Emotionally erecting a wall between them. Each day, it was an effort to scale the fortress guarding his heart.
