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“What about Carl? Can’t he help you…can’t he go with you now?” she cried, taking another tactic.
“I go alone.”
Lesley hung her head, unable to assimilate all that he was telling her. She couldn’t get past the feeling that she’d already lost him. It struck her then that she’d never really had him to lose.
“Schuyler is a terrorist, Lesley. He preys on the innocent, takes delight in murder. He often works alone, and that makes him all the more difficult to locate, but word came yesterday that he was hiding in Egypt. I’m going after him now. That’s where I was earlier, making my travel arrangements.”
“No,” she cried, and because she couldn’t bear to let him go, she threw her arms around his neck and clung.
Zane’s hold on her was tight, his breathing shallow. “I never meant to love you.”
The words were bittersweet. “Why’d you marry me? Why?”
He hesitated.
“By your own words, you never intended to fall in love with me.”
“I wanted a child.”
Too stunned to speak, Lesley closed her eyes in an effort to take it all in. “A baby?”
He didn’t respond. It took her far longer than it should have to realize what he was saying. He believed he was about to die and it was important that he have an heir. She was little more than the means to the end. This was what he’d meant when he claimed he’d never meant to love her.
“You used me.” Outrage and fury demanded that she stand, although she wasn’t sure her weak knees would keep her upright. “You wanted a child and I was little more than a womb…a means of achieving an end. Why didn’t you donate to a sperm bank?”
“Please, Lesley, listen.”
“I’ve heard all I care to.” She stormed out of the library, climbed the stairs and collapsed on their bed.
Zane gave her a few minutes and then followed. He stood in the doorway to their bedroom. “I don’t blame you for being angry. You deserve a far better husband than I’d ever be.”
Although she knew it was childish, she covered her head with a pillow and refused to listen.
“I don’t have time to pander to your anger,” he said harshly. “If you hate me, all the better.”
She slowly sat upright and glared at him. “I despise you.”
He didn’t flinch. “I don’t blame you. But listen, there are some things you need to know. You have the rest of your life to hate me.”
He entered the bedroom, then stopped abruptly. “I went to see an attorney this afternoon.”
“An attorney?”
“Everything I have is yours and the baby’s.”
“I don’t want anything of yours,” she spat out.
“Fine. Leave it for the child.”
Lesley closed her eyes. He was going to do it. He was actually going to leave her.
“I stopped off and talked to Carl. He’s promised to do whatever he can to help you and the baby. He might be a bit rough around the edges, but he’s a good man. I wouldn’t trust you and the baby’s care to anyone else.”
“No!” she cried in protest, but Zane ignored her.
“One last thing.”
Not only was Zane leaving her, but he seemed determined to go right that minute. “You have every right to hate me. I hate myself for involving you in this craziness. Youdodeserve a husband who’s a better man than I’ll ever be.”
