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I snorted and finished the second beer. “We’re not going to find our answers here. Not like this. We all know what we want. We want Lucy.”
“But what if what we want isn’t what’s best for Lucy?” Lennox fired back. He crossed his arms and glowered. “I don’t want to give her up, but I will if that’s what needs to be done.”
“That’s very noble of you.” I pointed toward Sable. “And if you really believed you could move on from Lucy, you wouldn’t have been so disgusted with our friend there.”
He’d tried to hide his disgust, but I saw it. I saw it and I recognized it because it was the same feeling brewing in me. I was ruined for any other woman. No one else would ever fit me like Lucy. I’d never been with anyone like her before. She smoothed all my jagged edges and made me forget why I’d sworn never to fall in love. She didn’t make me feel like I had to compete for her affection. And she sure as shit wasn’t sleeping with me because I was a famous hockey player.
If anything, that was part of our problem. We were not globally famous, but we were stopped often enough in the streets when someone recognized us from the hockey games. I got a shit-ton of fan mail and no shortage of sexy pics from women wanting to be my next flavor of the week.
I hated that persona I’d wrapped myself up in. All I wanted was for someone to see me. To see the real me and love me. Lucy did.
The thought of giving that up… it terrified me.
“Talk to Lucy.” Zachary drummed his fingers on the table. He stared at each of us. “Talk to Lucy and find out what she wants. No one has to get hurt here.”
I was quick to offer an agreement. Too quick, based on the look Lennox gave me. “I love her,” I said with a shrug in response to his unspoken recrimination. “You know how fucking hard that is for me to admit?”
Of course he did. They both did. They’d been with me through all the shit and knew my past almost better than I did.
“Nothing has to be decided right now,” Zachary said.
His quiet tone almost grated on my nerves, but I was grateful that he was on my side. I nodded. “Take things slow? We’ll talk to Lucy and go forward from there.”
I hoped to hell she didn’t give up on the idea of us. But I’d understand if she did. It was no worse than what I deserved after playing the playboy all these years. Of course, the one woman I’dfall in love with was the one I shouldn’t have. Lucy would decide our future. I’d stand by whatever decision she made. Even if it tore out my heart with a dull knife.
Zachary’s phone rang and he slid it from his pocket with a blush darkening his cheeks. “That’s Lucy.” He answered while Lennox and I both tried not to lean in and listen for no other reason than to hear the sound of her voice.
“Hey, Zack. Can you get hold of Lennox and Justin? We need to talk.”
I couldn’t tell a damned thing from the tone of her voice. But everyone knew thatwe need to talkwas code for a cruel goodbye. I braced for the inevitable.
32
LENNOX
Ihaven’t been this nervous since the first time I asked a girl to a dance, and that was back in like fifth grade. I meant what I said at the bar. Justin and I should walk away and let Zachary and Lucy have a life—a normal life—together. They deserve that. Lucy can do better than me.
Hell, I’d option that she was better off with Justin than me, playboy lifestyle and all. Because Justin was all in for this relationship.
Who was I trying to kid? I loved her so much it kept me up at night. I’d never felt this way about anyone, and it scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I wasn’t good enough for her. I worried myself sick that I’d hurt her somehow. “Being with all of us is a mistake.” I glared at myself in the rearview mirror as I drove. “She’ll see that and end things with you. Brace yourself.”
The reverse pep talk had zero effect on my stampeding pulse. My hands slicked with sweat, and I gripped the wheel tighter as I turned down the lane leading to Lucy’s house. The sight of it caused a catch in my throat. I loved her simple little house, with its spacious rooms. I’d grown up worried I’d freeze to death inthe winter and always felt jealous of people who didn’t have to worry about how they’d stay alive when the world turned to ice.
I sat in the car with the engine idling, afraid to turn off the engine and go inside. I could only guess why Lucy wanted to talk to us. She was going to end things. I had to be ready for that and accept it without arguing. It’s why I’d said what I did to Justin.
The bastard didn’t want to let her go. Neither did I, but I would if that was what she wanted. Enough. I killed the engine and climbed out. Justin and Zachary pulled into the drive behind me and we made the slow walk up the sidewalk and under the small porch roof.
Lucy opened the door before I could lift my hand to knock. My pulse skipped into overdrive. God I loved her. From her socked feet to her messy bun. I loved every inch of this woman, her giving heart and brilliant mind most of all. How was I supposed to give her up?
“Come in.” She stepped back and waved her hand.
I watched, waiting for the darting look where she scanned her neighbors’ houses to see if anyone was watching. She never looked away from me, except to find Justin and Zachary and then move back to me. This woman was everything I’d ever dreamed of in a relationship. And I was a sentimental fool for thinking I could keep her. All my words at the bar were a smokescreen, a way to try and convince myself that I could walk away.
I made my way over to the couch, my feet dragging over the soft carpet, and sank down with a resigned sigh. Justin kissed Lucy’s cheek, and I scowled at him behind her back.
He lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug and flopped into the nearest chair. “What’s up?”
Lucy hugged her arms over her ribs and swayed side to side. Her gaze darted over each of us, lingering on me as she spoke. “I want to be with all of you.”
