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So I take her other hand in mine, and pull her into a dance instead.
At first, she resists, her body as tense as it was before we had our many moments together. With one stroke of my thumb across her wrist, I feel her give in—just a little bit, not completely, but it’s a start.
“What makes you think I want to dance with you, Kay?” She looks away for a moment, then looks back, meeting my eyes with a hardness that doesn’t match how her body slowly gives in to me.
“The simple fact that you already are,” I say, a smile tugging at my lips as I sway us to one side.
Talia rolls her eyes. I’ll take attitude over the cold shoulder any day.
“And what makes you think I want to even talk to you right now?” she asks, her gaze now on a spot on my shoulder, avoiding mine. There’s a tightness in her voice that causes me my own type of pain. I can never take back the hurt I needed to cause her, but I need to try moving forward to a place where she might start thinking about forgiving me, before it’s too late.
“The simple fact that you already are,” I repeat. She scoffs this time, and starts to pull away, but I hold her more tightly against me, her body pressed up against mine. “Don’t go,” I murmur. “I don’t want you to.”
“That’s not what it sounded like the other day.” Her words are acid. A dagger dipped in poison that she’s stabbing me with.
Good thing I’ve been stabbed before. I can take it.
I change the subject. “I hear you’re in the wedding party.”
Her eyes narrow as we continue to sway to the music. I start to guide us in a circle, and she follows my lead. “How’d you know that? Nyla just asked me.”
“I have super hearing.”
“Kay.”
I laugh. “Nyla owed me a favor.”
“So she only asked me because ofyou?” Her swaying stops, but I quickly guide her back into rhythm with me. “I don’t want to be somewhere I’m not wanted. I need to go tell her that she doesn’t have to have me in her party.” She pulls away, heading for Nyla, but I wrap my arm around her waist.
My hand finds her neck this time, where I cup the back of it. “What makes you think you’re not wanted?”
A stillness takes over her that makes me think I might have pushed too hard, too fast. Then there’s the briefest moment where the look in her eyes goes softer. I can see through her hardened exterior to the desire she has for me as she leans into my hand, inhaling a deep breath through her nose. Her eyes close, and I lean in closer to her, our lips nearly touching. For a moment, it feels like it’s only the two of us in an empty room. I want nothing more than to be truly alone with her.
Then her eyes open, the fire blazing again. “The simple fact that you told me you didn’t want me around.”
She steps back, and this time I let her. Our shared moment was enough for me for now. There are still so many amends that need to be made, and I have so little time to make them.
“Kay,” my brother’s voice sounds from behind me, his hand clasping onto my shoulder, “it’s almost time for the toast.”
I nod, following him toward the front of the room. Kieran is the only one I’ve told about what happened with Jules, and what will inevitably happen because of him. I needed to tell someone, if only for there to be someone else to help me in making things up to Talia before I have to leave. Nyla’s still in the dark, but it wasn’t difficult to convince her to ask Talia to be a bridesmaid. She was already thinking about asking her.
Searching for Talia as I take my spot beside Kieran near the stage, I don’t find her in the room. Kieran gestures for the musicians to halt their playing, their current tune gracefully fading into silence as he picks up a microphone.
“Good evening, everyone. I wanted to thank you all for coming to celebrate with Nyla and I.” He reaches out a hand toward her at the table, and she stands up to take it. “Nyla and I met in the most unconventional way. Our closest friends are familiar with this story.”
A round of laughter rises from Kieran’s group of friends, and all at once I realize just how distant I’ve been from him. For the first time, I feel remorse about it.
Nyla must sense something shift in me because I feel a gentle pat on my arm. She smiles up at me reassuringly as Kieran continues.
“It wasn’t easy in the beginning, but as time passed, we set aside our differences, and we found a love in each other I didn’t know was possible between two people.”
I search the room for Talia again, unable to focus on the way Kieran looks down at Nyla lovingly, a hand at her back.
“I am grateful to my future wife every day for the softness she’s shown me. I am lost without her.” Kieran’s speaks so tenderly, in a way I’ve never heard him speak before, his hard exterior reminding me so much of Talia’s that it inspires a feeling in me. Suddenly, I know exactly what I need to say in my toast.
Holding out my hand to Kieran for the mic, he says his parting words. “My brother, Kay, would like to say a few words, I think.” He gives me an appreciative smile, the corners of his eyes softening in a loving way I know could only have been brought out by the woman beside him.
Taking the offered mic and holding it before me, I begin with, “My brother and I have always been at odds. We were never very competitive, as most brothers are. We never felt the need to one up each other. Our whole lives, we were opposites. In younger years, that opposition seems almost impossible to overcome because we only know to base relationships off shared interests and experiences. So, Kieran and I went our separate ways, and we spent many years estranged.”
