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***
When it hits our lunch hour, I leave to go home, unable to sit in the office anymore with the coldness between Kay and me. It always seemed like such an inevitable thing. Before we had even hooked up, once I had finally given into him, my greatest fear was that he would end up treating me like he is now. Except then it seemed inevitable that it would be by his own narcissistic doing. It feels even worse that it’s bymydoing.
I walk into my apartment, my mood even worse than when I left this morning with Brian still sleeping in my bed that I almost don’t notice the frantic whispers coming from the bedroom until athudjoins in. Dropping my keys on the counter, I’m already not surprised about what I’m potentially walking into. Making my way to my bedroom, I nudge open the door with my boot to see Brian’s bare ass just as he yanks his jeans over it, and a woman inmybed, under the covers, as if they will prevent me from seeing her.
I’m not even mad. There are no feelings in me for him. I cross my arms and stare at Brian, sparing the poor, terrified woman from thinkingshe’sdone something wrong here.
“Talia!” he says, running a nervous hand through his hair. “I thought you were going to be at work until six today.”
My tongue pokes the inside of my cheek as I look him up and down, letting him squirm underneath my gaze for a moment before I silently make my way to the pile of feminine clothes on the floor. I toss them to the woman wordlessly, then make my way toward the closet.
“Talia, it’s not what it looks like,” Brian says, the most disgustingly cliché words he could use in a situation like this. There’s no point in even responding.
I remove his bag from the closet and begin to pour his drawers out into it.
“Talia,come on.I mean, I knowyou’vebeen fucking that one guy you work with. I figured that was our deal. We get hitched for our parents and then each have our own people on the side.”
The woman gets dressed. She says nothing. Smart. I’d chew her up and spit her out if she tried.
I zip up his bag and drag it across the floor toward the front door. Somehow, I missed the pair of heeled boots by the door that most definitely aren’t mine. I pick them up, handing them to the woman, who keeps her eyes down and rushes out the door.
I catch it, holding it open, holding Brian’s bag aloft for him to leave with ease.
He doesn’t, and his resistance starts to peeve me.
Brian continues to stand in the bedroom doorway. “Now come on, Talia. Let’s be reasonable. We had an agreement here.”
“We had no agreements. We’ve neverhadany agreements. We barely speak any words other than your terrible dirty talk in bed. I was just trying to please my parents. Nowleave. This arrangement is over.”
He crosses his arms in defiance, still standing in nothing but his jeans. “No, you said you would make this work this time.”
I’m so turned off by his pouting I could puke. I can’t believe I ever contemplated settling into this situation.
“I never made that promise.” My arm was getting tired from holding his bag, from holding the door, from holding up every single expectation ever laid on me by my parents to be perfect, from every expectation I’ve put onmyselfto be in control. I’m tired of it all, and there’s only one person I want to fall into that makes me forget about all of it.
When Brian doesn’t move, I throw his bag out the door and stomp toward him. He doesn’t move an inch, but I briefly catch the widening of his eyes in fear as I stop inches from his face. “Leave, or I will drag you out that door by your cock.”
“Fucking hell, Talia.” He drops his arms, pushing past me, but not before bumping into me,hard. “Actually, you know what?” he says, turning on me and grabbing me by the shoulders. “No. I’m sick of your crazy ass pulling this shit.” Brian pushes me back into the wall, my head hitting the door frame. “You always find some reason to sabotage this when it would benefitbothof us.”
I drive my knee into his crotch, and he doubles over.
“No,” I say, my chest heaving, “it would only benefityou.You’dget the trust fund, the sex all the time, and I’d be stuck in a boring,painfullife with you just to please both our parents.”
“Fuck you, you crazy bitch,” he wheezes.
I grab him by the hair and yank his head back, forcing him to look at me as he cups his bruised balls. “Yeah, Iama crazy bitch. Now get the fuckoutof my apartment. I never want to see you again.”
Releasing him, he finally leaves, limping.
Only once he’s in the doorway, reaching for his bag, does he say his last words.
“You’re a cunt who deserves an awful life, Talia. Always have.”
I rush forward and slam the door in his face.
Sliding down the door, I sit on the floor. Nico comes out from wherever he’s been hiding and rubs up against my leg with a meow.
“I think we have to win back the only person wholikesthat I’m a crazy bitch, Nico.”
