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I nodded. “Except I thought she meant she’d let her out of my room, so I spent half an hour wandering the house and calling her name, tamping down my anger at my mom, looking in every closet. Then my mom started laughing. So, I said, what is your problem?” I swallowed thickly. “And she said,'You are.You’re so fucking stupid. I didn’t let it out of your room, I tossed it out of the front door.’”
I met Alastair’s gaze.
“I wanted to kill her, Alastair. I legit wanted to slam her head into the wall, again and again. I was sixteen. Icouldhave. I’m stronger than I look.”
“I know.”
“She kept laughing, I punched her right in the chin, and she fell down. I think she was in shock, because I’d never raised a hand to her before. It was always the other way around.”
We were quiet for a long time. Alastair put down my foot and picked up the other one. I closed my eyes.
“I’m surprised you didn’t leave right then,” Alastair said.
I opened my eyes and stared at him, wondering about his childhood and if he’d ever hated his parents so much he’d wished the worst things on them. Maybe all kids did at one time or another.
“Where would I have gone?” I asked.
“Did you ever find your kitten?”
An image flashed in my head of seeing something in the middle of the road on my way home from school two days later that looked like a dead squirrel but wasn’t.
“No,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” Alastair murmured, soothing the muscles of my foot with practiced movements. “That’s awful.”
“I probably should have left. But what the fuck was I gonna do? I didn’t have a job. Esther was still living with her folks, and I didn’t want to ask if I could staythere, even though they might have let me.”
Alastair was silent. His strength and calm confidence were exactly what I needed.
“She never touched me after that. Her anger became cruel words and manipulations—and holding that punch over my head every time I got mad at her for something or complained about her drinking.”
“She broke your nose, Toby.”
“That day she was only standing there, and I’m a guy. You know what the courts see, right? An angry man and a victim.”
“You were sixteen!”
I shrugged. “I still think they would have sided with her.”
“I’m not so sure. Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. You’re here, and she’s there—and you never have to go back.”
Chapter Eighteen
Writing Lines
I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of the dude who’d approached me, but he didn’t make another appearance.
Alastair had insisted I share my location with him so he could keep tabs when he wasn’t with me. It should have been an imposition. Maybe a couple of weeks ago I would have laughed and told him I was an adult and he didn’t need to babysit me, but I truly didn’t mind. It was nice to know he cared enough about my safety to risk pissing me off. I’d never shared my location with anyone before, even Esther.
Anyway, I didn’t care how many strangers threatened me. I wasn’t going back.
For the first time, I felt like I could breathe. I probably would have felt the same if I was renting any old place, but having Alastair in my corner and in my bed was a real benefit.
By the time Friday night came around, Alastair and I had managed to ‘forget’ about the weirdo and his message. We were out for a date and feeling good about having the time and space to get kinky.
* * * *
When Sebastian handed me the key to the Bordello on Friday, he had a weird smile on his face.
