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“Yes.”

“Did you like it?”

I hesitated. If I told him I’d liked it, he was going to do that again. And I didn’t know how many times it would take for me to stop liking it—or if I ever would.

“Tell me.”

“Yes,”I said. “But, Alastair—I mean, Sir—I…I’m scared…”

He was suddenly there, right next to me, stroking my hair. “What are you scared of?”

I swallowed thickly. “Of what I’m feeling. I’m scared that I’ll want to give you everything and anything. And I don’t know if I can control it.”

“Your submission, you mean? You’re worried that you’ll submit to whatever I want to do to you?”

Was I? Would I?I swallowed. “Yeah.”

He kissed my cheek and smiled against my face. “I won’t let you, my lovely boy. I’m here to protect you as well as to control you. Promise me you’ll tell me if it’s too much, and I’ll take it from there.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes, Sir. I promise.”

“And I’ll be watching. I know you find the fact that I’m so experienced in this world a bit intimidating, but the benefit of that is that I can read a submissive very well. And trust me, I’m going to be paying very close attention to everything you do, everything you say and everything you are.”

I sobbed a breath. His reassurance that he had my back and wouldn’t take me farther than he figured I could handle, no matter what I said or didn’t say, sent a wave of relief through me.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good.” He kissed my cheek again, then he was gone from my side. “I’m going to warm you up. Use your safeword if it gets to be too much, you decide you don’t like it or for any reason at all.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“What’s your safeword, Toby?”

My mind was a blur of sensation and the image of Alastair standing behind me with the paddle and what that must look like…and what itmeant.

It took me a second to remember.“Bloomers.”

“Good.”

I’d turned my head to the side and pressed my cheek against the headrest—seriously, this was the Cadillac of crosses—so I could hear him better and show that I was paying attention. I wanted to be good for Alastair. The need came from somewhere deep inside me, where perhaps I’d lacked a male authority figure to impress. I craved Alastair’s approval with a physical hunger.

The next slap of the paddle wasn’t as bad as the first. I knew what to expect. The second and third slaps were okay, too. I kind of liked the feel of it and the thud of pain it gave me that was different from the sting of hand spanking.

“So far so good?” Alastair asked, leaning in close again and kissing my cheek.

“Yes, Sir.”

“All right. I’m gonna go a bit harder.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He continued with a little more force and a quicker rhythm. My ass started to burn and protest, but then the spread of heat morphed into a whole-body pleasure as the endorphins helped to dull the pain. It hypnotized me. I clutched the chains of my bindings as I went into an instinctual pattern of tension and relaxation.

“Breathe, Toby. Don’t stiffen up so much.”

Easy for him to say.

“Try to relax into the rhythm of it. Accept it. You’re not getting away from it. You might as well enjoy it.”

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