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“Toby, I brought you coffee and cookies. You’re acting like—”
“Like you didn’t treat me to the best fucking sex I’ve ever had, in the fanciest fucking hotel in this goddamn stupid city?”
“That wasn’t what I was— That was the best sex you’ve ever had?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Well, I’m only twenty. And yeah. And don’t you dare say that wasn’t sex because we didn’t get to the fucking part.” I thought about it. “No, actually do say that, because then I can tell myself you’re an asshole, and not a super nice guy and a fucking amazing hookup.”
“I’m not going to say that.”
“Fuck you.” I dropped the choker to the bed and folded my arms across my chest and pouted. I gazed longingly at the cigarette on the table.
Alastair sighed. “What is the problem here? Are you actually mad because I’m being toonice?”
“Yes. I’m trying not to…get too attached.”
“Why?”
I gaped at him.“Why?”
He smiled, and I wanted to punch him. Seriously, just lay him out flat for being such a goddamn nice asshole that I didn’t deserve.
Instead, I explained. I might have upped the volume a bit.
“Because you told me last night that you only do casual sex, and here we are after doing casual sex and I feel like you might actually like me, but maybe you’re this nice to all your hookups, and I’m just reading something into it that isn’t there, and I really don’t want to be made a fool of.”
He didn’t say anything for a very long time while I inwardly died of embarrassment and cursed my loose tongue. He didn’t need to know all that. I could’ve just held it together for another hour and left with my dignity intact.
“Huh. I didn’t actually say that.”
I blinked. “You told me you came to Molly’s with different guys all the time, to use the Bordello.” I narrowed my eyes. “And now that I think of it, maybe you meant girls, too.”
“I’ve never brought a girl—a woman—to Molly’s. I don’t do kink with women.” He ran a hand through his hair. “So just different men, to make use of the kink furniture and the, uh, unique, you know, implements.”
“You don’t have to spell it out.”
“That’s a very specific kind of thing, is what I mean.”
“It’s a sex thing.”
“Sometimes. More often it’s just a kink thing. And it’s easy to be anonymous and casual about it.”
“I don’t get it,” I said. At least, I didn’t want to get it. I didn’t think it would make me feel better.
He turned off the TV and put the remote down.
“You know, I don’t have vanilla hookups with men very often.”
“Is that what this was?”
He laughed. “Yes.” He inclined his head. “Your outfit made it kinkier than I’d expected, but not as kinky as I usually get.”
I snorted. “Yeah, nothing compared to the stuff you do in the Bordello.” I had an image of Alastair wielding a flogger and handing me a gimp mask. I didn’t hate it.
“It wasn’t nothing,” he said. “Jeez, Toby, Ilikeyou. I thought that was obvious.”
We gazed at each other for a long moment. I pulled back on the pout a bit, and eventually spoke. “I like you, too. But I thought this was just gonna be a one-off, which is totally fine, by the way. I can do casual sex. I’ve done it before.”
Alastair laughed. “I’m sure you can. And, yeah, I thought it was gonna be a one-off.”
